Death Stranding is the 253rd episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert, and narrated by Brad Venable. It parodies the action video game Death Stranding. It was published on December 3, 2019. It has been viewed over 600,000 times.
Script []
This is rated S for Spoilers.
From the unique mind of Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima comes the first game where he's truly been given free rein to make whatever he wants, and he decided to bring us a world where the postal service actually gives a f*ck about your packages.
Death Stranding
Repatriate into one of the most bizarre games of the decade, as Hideo Kojima makes his first foray into production after his messy divorce from Konami and comes out with a 60-hour post-apocalyptic walking simulator with an absolutely bonkers storyline involving exploding ghosts, babies in bottles, and time-rain, brutally punishing mechanics that combine American Truck Simulator with QWOP, and a star-studded cast that Kojima absolutely won't let you forget he's hanging out with, in a video game so surreal that it's genuinely hard to tell if it's a masterpiece or just a piece of garbage. I mean, it's boring, super self-serious, and kind of not fun to play; sounds like art to me!
Prepare to trek across a now-ruined America that looks suspiciously like Iceland and shoulder the insanely-overloaded rucksack of Sam Porter Bridges, as he ferries packages and supplies to a civilization that has retreated into underground shelters due to all the ghosts and whatnot by making long, arduous journeys over difficult terrain while you try to balance his comically high stack of packages, until you can re-establish everyone's Wi-Fi via the Chiral Network with this USB necklace like a futuristic Verizon guy.
Verizon Test Man: Can you hear me now?
Then, discover the passive multiplayer mechanics as your game fills with bridges, ropes, ladders, uh, piss mishrooms, and one million signs like you're on the Las Vegas Strip that you can reward with a like for helping you out on your journey, in a system that brilliantly removes the worst thing about multiplayer -- interacting with actual people -- but adds the caveat of activating your endless lust to validate yourself through Internet praise. What?! My bridge got zero likes?! Well, fine! Build your own goddamn bridge, then!
Discover a post-apocalyptic America where everyone is crying constantly, the afterlife definitely exists, and bodies turn into nuclear bombs after death, where Sam Bridges, a reluctant immortal, must venture out to save the daughter of the now-deceased American president from an over-the-top terrorist threat with the help of the mysterious pod baby BB that one-ups the Sixth Sense kid by letting Sam see dead people, too, and unravel the government conspiracy -- because of course there's one of those -- with the help of a cast of characters whose names are a literal description, backstory, and itinerary, in a narrative that is so up its own ass that it's impossible to tell what to take seriously, that takes nuance to the back alley and kicks it repeatedly in the kidneys.
Sam Porter Bridges: Run?
Samantha America "Amelie" Strand: Yeah... Like Mario and Princess Beach. (Amelie and Sam run down the beach Baywatch-style)
Stumble through the neurosis-inducing gameplay of Death Stranding, where you'll constantly struggle to right yourself like you're a drunk with an inner ear problem, as you toggle your right and left triggers to make sure you don't tip over and damage your cargo, only to trip on a pebble and have all your items tumble out of your pack like a burst bag of spaghetti, in a design that feels less like controlling a human and more like driving a Norman Reedus-shaped car, until you are driving a really terrible car, and every rock, crevice, and slightly-raised mass catches your wheels, putting you at a dead stop, but still feels like an upgrade because it's easier to protect your cargo against the many elements that threaten to f*ck up your future Yelp review, like the rain that constantly ages your stuff, psychotic couriers that have gotten addicted to the rush of... package delivery (?), and ghostly apparitions that'll make you drop your cargo and drag you as far away as possible, then spawn some horrible Lovecraftian creatures that aren't really a threat, but will definitely screw up your grenade count, in gameplay that feels like it's constantly punishing you for wanting to enjoy a video game. At least I can always relax with a refreshing... Monster Energy! Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm! So good, it's worth breaking the fourth wall! (Sam sprays Monster Energy at the camera)
So strap on that sandalwood and put up your otter hood that you got from Conan O'Brien, for a unique experience that you have to at least give points for trying something different, even if the thing it tried is 100% bonko-nutters insane. For that, Kojima, we salute you, even though playing your game felt like putting my balls in a vise. (Sam's car falls to the bottom of the mountain)
Starring: Boondocking Saint (Norman Reedus as Sam Porter Bridges); Mary Poppin' In (Léa Seydoux as Fragile); Science Fair Joker (Troy Baker as Higgs Monaghan); Herman Munster del Toro (Guillermo del Toro and Jesse Corti as Deadman); Literally John McClane (like literally his name is John McClane) (Tommie Earl Jenkins as Die-Hardman); Mama Drama (Margaret Qualley as Målingen "Mama"); Getting a Heart On (Nicolas Winding Refn and Darren Jacobs as Heartman); The Sorrow (Mads Mikkelsen as Clifford "Cliff" Unger); Hillary Clinton (Lindsay Wagner and Emily O'Brien as Bridget Strand); American Rei (Lindsay Wagner and Emily O'Brien as Samantha America "Amelie" Strand); and Baby Mario (BB-28/"Lou").
The Postman: A Reference You Totally Get
The honest title for Death Stranding was 'The Postman: A Reference You Totally Get.'
Say what you want about the game, but there is something REALLY gratifying about being able to snowboard down slopes. Ohh, I would totally play an SSX Tricky game from Kojima any day.
Viewer Comments[]
Please say: "What is YOUR WikiFeet score?" - silversalamence10
Please say: "Commander, the hamster wheel has stopped spinning." - Hahani 177
Please say, "Weapons are part of my religion." - 17th Legion
Please say, "May the Schwartz be with you." - Matthew Steiner
Please sing: "Living Spaces!" - Jake Brady
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Honest Game Trailers - Death Stranding has a 96.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers.
Production Credits[]
Written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Max Song