Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) is the 176th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 1964 stop-motion animated holiday TV movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the format of a musical episode. It is performed largely as a parody of the titular song, and also features narration by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on November 22, 2016, to coincide with the holiday season. It is 4 minutes 22 seconds long. It has been viewed over 2.5 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer on YouTube
"Lord of the Rings for kids on acid." ~ Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Script[]
From the Disney of Christmas specials (Rankin/Bass Productions) comes the holiday classic that makes the whole family say "Man, this movie is so much weirder than I remember":
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Saddle up for a sleigh ride based on the famous tune about Rudolph, full of other, way less catchy songs.
Elves (singing): We are Santa's elves,/Filling Santa's shelves.
But since it's Rudolph's story after all, we thought we'd sing his famous carol if it were honest about what actually happens in the film.
(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")
Singers: You know Dasher/And Dancer/And Prancer/And Vixen,/But you don't/Know Coach or/Clarice or/This woodsman (Yukon Cornelius).
Who?
Singers: As this movie shows,/It's so much weirder than you know.
Wait, I don't-
Male Singer: This prepubescent reindeer (Rudolph)/Had a neon whistling nose,/And when someone else sees it,/Their tiny little mind explodes.
Huh.
Male Singer: All of the other reindeer/Treat him like he's got the plague.
Clarice's Father: No doe of mine is going to be seen with a...a red-nosed reindeer.
Male Singer: They send him into exile/'Cause this Santa's full of rage.
Santa Claus: Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Male Singer: Then one of Santa's elf slaves (Hermey)/Leaves his grueling job./He'll be a "dentist" someday,/Which is clearly code for "gay".
Hermey (to the Head Elf): C'mere, open your mouth.
Male Singer: Out in the frozen wasteland,/They all run into this fool (Yukon Cornelius)...
Who?
Male Singer: ...Who helps them fight a Yeti/While he oddly licks his tool (shows clips of Cornelius licking his pickaxe).
Singers: This group of freaks escapes to/The Island of Misfit Toys/Led by the King Moonraiser (Moonracer)...
Okay, okay, hold on! I gotta stop you right there. This is nuts! None of this is from the Christmas carol; it's just insane filler. Y'all turned a simple story into, like, Lord of the Rings for kids on acid. Don't do it! Don't you dare start singing ag-
Singers: Then it snows on Christmas Eve/So bad, Santa can't see.
Male Singer: They use Rudolph for his light/And pretend they're friends tonight./The moral of the story/Is that being different's bad/Unless your defect's useful./Man, this movie's really sad.
Singers: Sorry to Rankin and Bass.
Starring Dat Nose Knows Does, Doe (Billie Mae Richards as Rudolph); Fauxsty the Snowman (Burl Ives as Sam the Snowman); Lil' Ferrell (Paul Soles as Hermey); Yukon the Red-Beard Hipster (Larry D. Mann as Yukon Cornelius); The Lion King (Stan Francis as King Moonracer); and We Wampa Wish You a Merry Christmas (Bumble).
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Honest title for Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - Teenage Mutant Red-Nosed Reindeer. Title design by Robert Holtby.
Teenage Mutant Red-Nosed Reindeer
At least they only stretched the Rudolph song to just one hour-long special. It's not like they sent him back to dinosaur times to save New Year's or something. (shows Rudolph surrounded by a parade of dinosaurs and One Million B.C. singing "It's Raining Sunshine" in Rudolph's Shiny New Year) Aw, come on!
Trivia[]
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other holiday movies including Elf, Home Alone, The Santa Clause, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Love Actually and Die Hard.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has a 96.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media sites commended Screen Junkies for revealing how strange the movie really is. Billboard noted this Honest Trailer highlights that the film is "far weirder and more depressing than fans remember." The Nerdist found the Honest Trailer for notable for revealing that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is actually "a story of racism, oppression, and exploitation, all wrapped up in an LSD-induced fever dream experienced inside a hippie-owned toy store" featuring "a wannabe dentist slave employed by an angry old man," "a hipster who likes to lick his tool," and "some creepy island of bizarre toys led by a lion." Cnet wrote that Screen Junkies pointed out the story is "more like a David Lynch tale than a Christmas tale retold every year." EW wrote "Honest Trailers is giving the gift of laughs this holiday season, shining the light on Christmas classic," while ComicBook.com said the Screen Junkies is here to "celebrate the holidays with snark." Many sites specifically praised the music and called out the "Lord of the Rings for kids on acid" line as a highlight.
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Executive Producer - Andy Signore
Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Michael Bolton, Christina Kline
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell & Andy Signore
Edited by Bruce Guido and TJ Nordaker
External links[]
- ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ Honest Trailer Points Out the Bizarre in This Classic Cartoon - IndieWire article
- 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' Honest Trailer Calls Holiday Special 'Lord of the Rings' for 'Kids on Acid' - Billboard article
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer gets Honest Trailers treatment - EW article
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Gets An Honest Trailer - Screen Rant article
- RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER GETS AN ACCURATE CHRISTMAS CAROL FROM HONEST TRAILERS - The Nerdist article
- 'Rudolph' gets the gift of an Honest Trailer - Cnet article
- Watch Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer's Honest Trailer To Remind Yourself How Weird The TV Special Really Is - CinemaBlend article
- Honest Trailers Takes On Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - ComicBook.com article
- Watch Honest Trailers Show Just How Weird 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' Is - MovieFone article