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Anthem is the 226th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert, and narrated by Mark Peeples. It parodies the 2019 online multiplayer action role-playing video game Anthem. It was published on June 4, 2019, and was the first episode of Honest Game Trailers uploaded to the Fandom Games channel. Anthem marked the return of the series after a 6 month hiatus caused by the collapse of former digital media company Defy Media. It has been viewed over 600k times.

Watch Honest Game Trailers - Anthem on YouTube

"One of the worst launches since the Challenger." ~ Honest Game Trailers - Anthem

Script Edit

In a world where every game is released is a broken pile of junk, comes one of the greatest ever examples of "Ahh! We'll patch it later." So complete in its suckery that some consoles will take their own lives rather than play it.

Anthem

Bask in one of the worst launches since the Challenger, as Anthem dishes out one lofty promise after another in promotional trailers then it delivers on approximately none of them, and puts out a game that doesn't even feel like an alpha. With a massive living world cut down to a series of uninspired caves, a total lack of skill trees or real progression, constant glitches, bugs and crashes, all tied together with some unbelievably long load times. In a cluster of four decisions that made Anthem one of the most hated games since Battlefront 2 or Mass Effect: Andromeda which, huh, it looks like those were also EA Games (Electronic Arts). What a wacky coincidence (!). (Creepy NPC Face with terrible lip-sync: "My face is tired.")

Discover the lore that makes the Bioware pedigree look like dog food. As you jet across a planet that they apparently didn't even bother to name and uncover the secrets of the titular Anthem of Creation by walking incredibly slowly through one hub area, getting a hot monologue from one of, like, five NPCs, making a binary decision that has no effect on the outcome and collecting another quest to shoot guys for ten minutes in three discrete locations. In a story that feels like it was 1:00am in the morning and they realized they had to turn in Mass Effect tomorrow. ("We’re a long way to the Cenotaph." "The Heart of Rage is no different than the hundreds of other Shaper ruins we dealt with." "The Pheromones sac of a young mantikar...") Blah, blah, blah, blah... Look, you've got, like, three fake sounding proper nouns before I check out entirely.

Experience the lackluster loot behind Anthem's true failure. Because despite some robust paint and customization, the actual stuff that drops from the enemies is boring as dust. As gun after gun is just a minor stat upgrade that looks identical to the one before. Leaving gunplay that initially seemed serviceable to grow stale over time and not even giving you anything cool to show off to your friends. In a cruel mockery of a loot system that could take some pointers from Diablo 1. Should have shot this old game with a big gun called "One more year of development."

So gather around and pay your respects as Bioware flies too close to the loot shooter Sun and burns off its wings, plunging deep into no man's ocean from whence Anthem may return in like a year once they've had time to actually develop it. In a tale that's becoming so common it's not even fun to say "I told you so" anymore. Everybody repeat after me, "I promise not to pre-order video games."

Starring: The Call of Duty; The MMO; The Major League Football; The Twink; Who Cares...; And The Hall Monitor.
Honest Game Trailers Anthem Open Invideo 3-35 screenshot

The honest title for Anthem was 'Just Play Warframe.'

Just Play Warframe

Despite everything, the fact that I can make my javelin into Garfield colors is probably the best part of this game. (An audio clip from Garfield and Friends: "Garfield Guarantee: No giant robots or annoying little blue people").

Trivia Edit

Honest Game Trailers Anthem Open Invideo 0-4 screenshot

The 2019 logo of Honest Game Trailers.

  • This was the first episode of Honest Game Trailers published on the Fandom Games channel. Previously the series had been published on Smosh Games.
  • Max Song, Andrew Bird and Spencer Gilbert are part of the same team of writers/editors who made the series when it was on Smosh Games. Spencer Gilbert has contributed to every episode of Honest Game Trailers ever made, as well as every episode of Honest Trailers Anime and almost every episode of Honest Trailers.
  • This was the first episode narrated by Mark Peeples. Peeples is a professional voice artist who also narrates real trailers. The rebooted version of Honest Game Trailers will feature a rotating voice cast, including the original narrator Jon Bailey.
  • This was the first episode to feature the new Honest Game Trailers logo, which was designed to resemble the graphics of a coin-operated arcade game.
  • It was 6 months between this Honest Game Trailer and the previous episode, DIABLO 3, which was published on November 6, 2018. The series went on a 6 month hiatus because Smosh Games' parent company, Defy Media, unexpectedly shut down. Defy's creditors seized all its assets and sold off its brands. Smosh was sold to Rhett & Link's Mythical Entertainment, but FANDOM (the new parent company of Screen Junkies) bought the rights to the Honest Game Trailers IP.

Reception Edit

Honest Game Trailers - Anthem has a 91.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Nathaniel Smyth of Entertainment Buddha said the video was "scathing but true." He wrote "Honest Trailers are back and they’re tearing into Anthem, rightfully so, because there are just so many things wrong with that game. Not only that but the way that it was marketed, all of the guff around how EA basically just completely screwed it up (wow, I couldn’t have guessed that), and so much more."

Mike Francolino of Deviant Gamer said the video was "an insanely accurate take on the release and game play of Anthem. Fandom Games does an amazing job calling out all the short comings of this abysmal game release."

Production credits Edit

Honest game trailers anthem

Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Anthem.

Voiceover narration by Mark Peeples

Written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert

Edited by Max Song

External links Edit

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