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Candy Crush Saga is the 7th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the free-to-play match-three puzzle video game Candy Crush Saga. It was published on May 31, 2014. Candy Crush Saga was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 7 million times.

Watch Honest Game Trailers - Candy Crush Saga on YouTube

"From every stay-at-home mom's favorite game company comes a mindless, shallow piece of entertainment that makes you dumber just for being exposed to it. It's basically the Kardashian of video games." ~ Honest Game Trailers - Candy Crush Saga

ScriptEdit

[Requests appear for other games]

We're working on all of those, but before we get to the games you've been asking for, here's the one you won't admit you've played.

From every stay-at-home mom's favorite game company (King) comes a mindless, shallow piece of entertainment that makes you dumber just for being exposed to it. It's basically the Kardashian of video games. [Kim Kardashian: "I wasted everyone's time and, you know, I wasted everyone's money."]

Candy Crush Saga

Prepare for another unoriginal, color-matching game that combines the random chance of a slot machine with the swipe based action of Tinder. Enjoy colors, music, and sound effects that are so soothing, you'll forget whatever deep, personal sadness got you to try the game in the first place! With fun modes like get rid of the jelly, drop the ingredients, and clear the board in fewer moves than a break-dancing white guy.

Suffer through a game that goes from pants-poopingly easy to phone-smashingly impossible! Where you'll learn to rage at things that you never expected to like: chocolate, corners, and the game attempting to help you. No, I am not doing that move! Are you trying to destroy me?!

People taking a dump everywhere can't get enough of the app that is as addictive as crack but far less rewarding. Where the first taste is free, then it shakes you down like an angry mafia goon with options likf paying to unlock new levels, paying for power ups, paying to make more moves, paying for more lives, and paying for the ability to pay for more lives. But if you're poor, impatient, and born with no sense of shame, link Candy Crush to your Facebook account and beg your real life friends for help! [Epic Voice Guy dismisses his friends' requests for help]. No, and no.

It's not just the game that's evil. Play with the full knowledge that you're supporting King digital, the EA of casual gaming. Cringe as they earn nearly a million dollars a day which they spend on stealing games from other developers, suing the same developers they stole from, and applying to trademark the words "candy" and "saga" despite all of the other video games that already use them. [Bullet Candy, Candy and Clyde, Christmas Adventure: Candy Storm, Dizzy's Candy Quest, Unbound Saga, Ninja Saga, The Banner Saga, Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga, Warcraft II: The Dark Saga, and Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga]. Seriously, f**k off!

Starring: Ginger Wonka [Mr. Toffee]; Future Eating Disorder [Tiffi]; Piss Dragon [Lemonade Dragon]; Guilt Trips [Crying lives]; and Diabetes [Candies]. And also starring game ideas King stole from: Columns; Bejeweled; Yoshi's Cookie; Candyland; and the 2010 Facebook and mobile game Candy Swipe. You plagiarizing assholes.

Candy Crush Sugga

You know you can just change the date on your phone to get more lives, right? So you never have to stop playing. Oh, man! I... think I have a problem.

ReceptionEdit

Honest Game Trailers - Candy Crash Saga has a 97.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media critics appreciated Honest Game Trailers' extremely harsh take on the game. Mike Fakey of Kotaku called the video "brutal" and wrote "maybe it's a well-deserved thrashing." Dual Shockers wrote "the term 'brutal' is an understatement." Chris Buek of Arcade Sushi said the video "skewered the time-wasting sensation with an Honest Trailer that’s as funny as it is accurate. ... The trailer is not kind, but it’s funny and it lives up to its name." Kyle Lowe of Complex called the video "some tasty evil."

Caleb Reading of Uproxx labelled the movie a 'brutal assessment' and noted that "they [Honest Game Trailers] call Candy Crush Saga “the Kardashian of video games” in that it makes you dumber just for being exposed to it. There’s also no love lost for King, the maker of the game, whom they call 'The EA of casual games.' Ouch. But probably fair." Matt Heywood of Entertainment Buddha said the video was so good it should be used as the game's actual trailer. He wrote:

For some reason this particular honest video game trailer feels like it should be the actual trailer used for the game. Maybe this is due to the fact that nearly everything the parody mentions is actually true, and not just comedic brilliance like the previously released honest video game trailers that spoof actual games. If the Candy Crush Saga phase really chapped your ass make sure to check out its honest trailer above for a bit of vindication, because everyone needs to know that King is the EA of casual video games. (M. Heywood, May 31, 2014, Entertainment Buddha).

Production creditsEdit

Honest game trailer candy crush saga

Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Candy Crush Saga.

Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh

Directed by Spencer Gilbert

Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert

Edited by Ryan Tellez

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External linksEdit

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