Castlevania is the 157th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Andrew Bird, Max Song, Spencer Gilbert and Matt Raub. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the action-adventure gothic horror video game Castlevania. It was published on July 4, 2017 to coincide with the release of the Castlevania show on Netflix. Castlevania was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 1 million tines.

Watch Honest Game Trailers - Castlevania on YouTube

"Experience the eternal grudge match that is everyone versus Dracula" ~ Honest Game Trailers - Castlevania

Script Edit

From the developer that gave you some of history's most iconic game series [Konami], then threw it all away to make pachinko machines, health clubs, and .... urgh! soccer games! Comes the franchise that taught a generation of gamers, there's nothing more delicious than sweet, sweet wall meat.


Discover a gaming franchise older than most of its fans. With 30 years of history and a mind-blowing 41 titles that almost all take place in the same castle, with the same antagonist. Where you'll fight through hundreds of skeletons, demons, monsters and maids... all for the privilege of killing everyone's favorite vampire: Dracula! Until he resurrects again in, like, 10 minutes. In an experience that stayed incredible fresh for being kind of the same game every time. Turns out everyone loves Metroid from all goths!

Experience the eternal grudge match that is everyone versus Dracula@ As you inhabit the many colorful protagonists of Castlevania, from: the tiny shorts-wearing vampire slayers of the Belmont family; to Dracula’s son Alucard, who’s mainly in it to work out his daddy issues; the J-pop protagonist that just sort of appears one day; that one sword lady because every Japanese game series needs a sword lady; and who could forget Axe Armor! Then take on Castlevania's grab bag of famous monsters pulled from anything the developers could get their hands on! Featuring: werewolves, mummies, Frankensteins, and one-billion Medusa heads! Until you finally get to Dracula, an anime badass so ridiculously strong, that death literally is his sidekick! In the world's most extensive storyline about Dracula-- that didn't develop him as a character AT ALL, despite have three decades to do it! But still has two major advantages over all other vampire fiction: incredibly good music and lots and lots of candle whipping! Yeah!

Plumb the ever-shifting depths of Dracula's castle as it evolved from a 2D platformer to a 2D action RPG, then it did it all over again in the third dimension. And tried on more new and wacky game systems than Final Fantasy, but maintained its core of monster slaying, powerful sub-weapons, complicated labyrinths, constant backtracking, screen-filling bosses, as as much property damage as possible! Because nothing pisses off the Lord of the Undead like breaking all his fancy Chinas! [Dracula accent] Oh you jackass! Those were a gift!

Marvel at the massive catalog of Castlevania games featuring: the painfully tough originals including the sequel that was intentionally obstuse to sell you copes of Nintendo Power, the Super Nintendo version that had mode seven and wasn't afraid to use it, the early 90's ones you probably emulated you filthy pirates, the extreme off-brand kid Dracula, the 3D games for the N64 that haunt my nightmares to this day, the groundbreaking PS1 game that created a genre, and the pile of handheld pseudo-sequels that tried to recapture the magic of Symphony, the PS2 and Xbox versions that you're better off forgetting, that one Wii exclusive fighting game where everyone was a Lolita cosplayer or a stripper, and the modern games that play like God of War where the story finally went full anime! Then marvel at the sorry state of the franchise with the latest iteration of the series: the Castlevania pachinko game! As Konami finally does what the Belmonts never could, and murders Dracula -- only to have his spirit carried on through one million indie games on Steam. Have you tried Dead Cells? It's like they mixed Metroid-vania with pure uncut cocaine!

So whip it, whip it good! And obsessively fill out every corner of that map with a classic gaming series that, despite some missteps, is mostly still awesome. But sadly may never return unless Bloodstained bucks the Kickstarter trend and doesn't suck.... But I won't hold my breath. At least it'll give Koji Igarashi an excuse to keep dressing like vampire Indiana Jones for a little longer!

Starring: Short Shorts the Barbarian (Simon Belmont); Goth Ryu (Richter Belmont); Vampire Hunter D (Alucard); Jean Vest Dolph Lundgren (Reinhardt Schneider); Talbain (Cornell); Another White-Haired Guy With a Fancy Coat (Juste Belmont); A Short White-Haired Guy With A Fancy Coat (Soma Cruz); Honestly, These Two Look Really Alike (Leon Belmont and Hector); Tango and Cash (Jonathan Morris and Charlotte Aulin); Swords McGee (Shanoa); Grim Fandango (Death); and Bram Stoker's Beaten Horse (Dracula).

Gothic Metroid

CASTLEVANIA (Honest Game Trailers) Open Invideo 5-13 screenshot

The honest title for Castlevania was 'Gothic Metroid.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Doesn't everyone know that Kid Dracula is clearly the real monster? You poor helpless fools!

Reception Edit

Honest Game Trailers - Castlevania has a 98.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Robert Workman of wrote that the Honest Game Trailer was "a pretty good view." Nathaniel Smyth of Entertainment Buddha wrote "It’s always funny to look back on a series that’s mostly good and remember what fucking awful games came from it."

Alex Walker of Kotaku observed "the Honest Trailer is a good look back at the depth and breadth of the series - 41 games over three decades. It's not a particularly deep dive into the structure of the games; if you want that, there are dedicated YouTubers who have done better. But the video does make a neat point how underdeveloped Dracula is as a character."

In his review of the video, William Usher of CinemaBlend wrote that the writing team "didn't hold back an iota of criticism for the game that helped spawn the Metroidvania sub-genre in gaming." Usher argued "there is one thing that they get absolutely wrong about Castlevania; they mention in the video that over three decades Dracula is a badass that doesn't get any character development, but this isn't true at all."

Production credits Edit

Honest game trailer castlevania

Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Castlevania.

Executive Producers: Matt Raub and Spencer Gilbert

Episode Written by: Andrew Bird, Max Song, Spencer Gilbert and Matt Raub

Edited by Max Song

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Titles designed by Robert Holtby

External links Edit

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