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Final Fantasy 14: Shadowbringers is the 235th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird and Spencer Gilbert. It was narrated by the same unnamed female narrator who worked on the video for Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. It parodies the online multiplayer action role-playing video game Final Fantasy XIV, specifically focusing on its then-recent expansion, Shadowbringers. It was published on July 30, 2019. It has been viewed over 200,000 times.

Script Edit

From the company that has your childhood nostalgia in a death grip (Square Enix) comes a game that combines the magical nonsense of Final Fantasy, the vast expanses of WoW, and the community of Club Penguin in an epic adventure, the scope of which you've never seen before... except for that other time they did it (Final Fantasy XI).

Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

Log in to the not-so-Final Fantasy XIV, a game so disliked at launch that they literally destroyed the world and started over. Then watch as A Realm Reborn actually rebirths a realm into one of the biggest MMOs in an age where no one plays those anymore, and shockingly, that didn't mean going free-to-play (articles pop up announcing that MMOs Life is Feudal, Albion Online, and Lineage all went free-to-play). Then, turn the page in a brand-new story about crystals or whatever and embody the Warrior of Light, the last hope for a war-torn land, as you ignore the 14 million other "last hopes" emoting in the chat and journey through the breathtaking landscapes of Eorzea, encountering a mishmash of fantasy tropes, taking down familiar enemies, and doing a metric ton of menial labor to stop the influence of these Organization XIII-looking a-holes. Then, forget everything I just said and jump into a totally different dimension, where you'll fight off the light with your newfound powers as the Warrior of Darkness and battle the corrupting influence of Sin Eaters and the Empire, in an extremely dense story that packs in the usual amount of anime bullsh*t for a Final Fantasy game. Oh, and also, whatever this is (two characters performing a vertical suplex). Now, that is called "character development".

Slide into the extremely familiar gameplay loop of XIV that serves up exactly what you're expecting from the MMO genre, where you'll accept quests to beat up five goblins, fetch things, and run through dungeons like they're theme park rides. In a nod to its FF roots, sit through some very long cutscenes; then, do it all over again with a completely new class as FF allows you to beat every job on the same character and start from Level 1 all over again, allowing you to justify grinding your life away at a virtual millstone even more easily than before, until you run out of space for the ass-pile of items they give you. I have to keep all these pants; you never know when green slacks are going to come in handy. Fashion is unyielding.

Cut into the meat of Final Fantasy XIV's battle system as you leave grinding behind and join up with actual humans to unleash different skills and attacks, to create ability combos that spice up the bog-standard tank, healer, and DPS mechanics that power the combat, and will have you scything through mobs of enemies like digi-wheat, until you finally reach the payoff for the three months you've sunk into this game: getting to play the nerd equivalent of a team sport, as you join raids to take down iconic characters from Final Fantasys past in pitched battles against giant foes that mostly test your ability to not stand in AoEs. Then, eventually, fell the creature for a bunch of loot that never goes to you. Or, go full hikikomori and take people out of the equation entirely, until you realize that means you actually have to be good at the video game. Hmm... I guess a 15-minute queue time isn't too bad.

So fire up that Duty Finder and glamour up that ugly hat, for an MMO that defies expectations by actually getting better every expansion -- uh, mostly -- and brings you as much of an authentic Final Fantasy experience as you can expect from the genre. And it better damn well deliver, because this sh*t's expensive as hell! Look, I can stop whenever I want. I can. I just need this... this emote that lets me industrial dance.

Starring: First's Greatest Dad (Thancred Waters); Child of Light ("Minfilia"/Ryne); Magic Kate and Ashley Olson (sic) (Alphinaud and Alisaie Leveilleur); Y'Stol My Heart (Y'shtola Rhul); Yu Gi Oh (Urianger Augurelt); Sweetest Potato (Tataru Taru); Don Corneo (Vauthry); Pai Mei (Ran'jit); Crystal Chronicles (The Crystal Exarch); Handsome Jack (Emet-Selch); and OC Do Not Steal (The Warrior of Light).

Fantasy Star Online 14

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The honest title for Final Fantasy 14: Shadowbringers was 'Fantasy Star Online 14.'

Wait a minute... you mean there's no 24-hour boss fights in this one? This game's for casuals!

Viewer Comments Edit

say, "Jesus Saves! Everyone else takes half points of damage." - Kickass McFarley

Please say " I Am inevitable - Gamerlevel Noob

Please say "Come forth, Slifer the Sky Dragon!" - Luke Rackham

say: "I SHALL ENDURE A THOUSAND DEATHS BEFORE I YIELD." - Maddox Tolliver

Please say "Snake? Snake?Snnnnnaaaakkkkkeee!" (black heart emoji) (100 Points emoji) - DruTube the TubeBunny

Trivia Edit

Reception Edit

Honest Game Trailers - Final Fantasy 14: Shadowbringers has a 76.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers.

Production Credits Edit

Honest game trailers final fantasy 14 shadowbringers

Voiceover narration by Unknown

Written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert

Edited by Max Song

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