Final Fantasy VII is the 9th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Alexander Faciane, Joshua Ovenshire, Matt Raub, Matt Sohinki, David Moss, Michael Adams Davis, Michael Schroeder, and Spencer Gilbert. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the role-playing video game Final Fantasy VII. It was published on July 14, 2014. Final Fantasy VII was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 6 million times.
"Series fans will love the game they've already basically played six times. Featuring the impossible weapons, stupid hair, and hours of scrolling text they can't get enough of. Woo-hoo, reading!" ~ Honest Game Trailers - Final Fantasy VII
From Squaresoft, the company who doesn't understand the meaning of the word "Final", comes the best installment of the series.... that you've actually played.
Final Fantasy VII
Journey to the steampunk world of Gaia for an epic story about an underground resistance that fights against an alien who killed off an ancient race of magical wizards... and then was cloned by Shinra or something? Look, it doesn't matter, the world saves itself in the end anyway. Spoilers (!)
Enjoy a groundbreaking visual experience where beautiful cutscenes blend perfectly with the hand painted backgrounds, and clash horribly with the pixelated box monster characters. Series fans will love the game they've already basically played six times. Featuring the impossible weapons [Cloud twirling his Buster Sword], stupid hair [Cloud's hair], and hours of scrolling text they can't get enough of. Woo-hoo, reading (!)
Use the all-new Materia system that lets you upgrade your skills by playing with your balls [Cid uses Knights of the Round on Safer Sephiroth] summon incredible creatures to fight by your side, whose unskippable intros just keep going... and going... and going... [Fast forward 15x] and going... and going... and going... and going... aaaannd there we go.
Meet Cloud, a bland mercenary with amnesia. He'll team up with unforgettable allies like: Vincent, who acted like an emo vampire before it was cool; Cid, because it's a Final Fantasy game; and Barrett, who's what Japanese people think black people are like. You'll also join forces with hot chicks like... Tifa, Aeris... th, and Sephiroth, whose beautiful hair, slender lips, and deep green eyes will leave you breath-- wait, he's a dude?! Aw, man! I have his picture up in my bedroom!
It's an unforgettable game full of moments you'll always remember, like... [Cloud in drag in Don Corneo's mansion], that time you crossdressed and snuck into a whorehouse, [Cloud using Omnislash on Sephiroth] that time you faced off against a dreamy, shirtless Sephiroth, [Sephiroth stabs Aeris] and the death of Aeris, a bold choice never before attempted in a franchise... except when Tellah died in Final Fantasy IV, Galuf died in V, Shadow in VI and Minwu in II.
So while Square farts out spinoffs like Crisis Core and Advent Children, play through their classic they still refuse to re-release in HD because reasons.
Starring: Teets-a [Tifa]; Horse Chickens [Chocobos]; Mr. B [Barrett]; Phoenix Downer [Aeris]; Mulan [Yuffie]; A Super Saiyan [Cloud]; Punky Simba [Red XIII]; Cats on Cats on Cats [Cait Sith]; Edward Cullen [Vincent]; and Celine Dion [Sephiroth]
Final Fantasy Vee
[Aeris sinks into the water after her funeral] (Sobbing) Like this if you cry every time.
Honest Game Trailers - Final Fantasy VII has a 98.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Joey Paur of Geek Tyrant called the video "hilarious." Joseph Luster of Crunchy Roll said the video "rings true." In her review of the Honest Game Trailer, Ana Febo of Entertainment Buddha noted the writers "sum it up the game as good looking dudes with weird hair that fight with their balls." Realm Beyond Sight called the video "great" and wrote "it takes a look at the games funniest moments all all the funny jokes that gamers loved to toss back and forth while sitting on their couch with their friends."
Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh
Directed by Spencer Gilbert
Episode Written by Alexander Faciane, Joshua Ovenshire, Matt Raub, Matt Sohinki, David Moss, Michael Adams Davis, Michael Schroeder, and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Spencer Agnew
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
- Honest Game Trailer for FINAL FANTASY VII - Geek Tyrant article
- VIDEO: Honest "Final Fantasy VII" Trailer Tells It Like It Is - Crunchy Roll article
- Final Fantasy VII Gets An Honest Trailer - Entertainment Buddha article
- Honest Video Game Trailers - Final Fantasy VII. [video] - Realm Beyond Sight article