Gears of War is the 34th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Spencer Agnew, Joshua Ovenshire, Spencer Gilbert, Matt Sohinki, Matt Raub, Michael Adams Davis, and Michael Schroeder. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the military science-fiction third-person shooter video game Gears of War. It was published on February 17, 2015. Gears of War was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 3 million times.
"The franchise brave enough to wonder, why can't a machine gun be a chainsaw too?" ~ Honest Game Trailers - Gears of War
From Cliffie B, developer of your favorite game's game engine [Unreal Engine] comes the franchise brave enough to wonder, why can't a machine gun be a chainsaw too?
Gears of War
Gear up for the series whose graphics blew everyone's mind -- and red-ringed everyone's Xbox! That was so successful, it turned every other game into a third-person shooter starring a big dumb bro taking cover in a world the same color as Taco Bell poops!
Roid out as a member of Delta Squad, a group of armored muscle bags who run like... well.... like they have Taco Bell poop in their pants! And are so weighed down by armor and muscles, they can't even jump -- but can somehow still dive-roll like a jaguar ballerina!
Meet Marcus, the durag leader and Sly Stallone-growl-alike [Marcus: "Who wants toast?!" "Bitch! Take it!" "Giant worm!" "Nyeeaaagghhhh!!!" Rambo: "Nyeeaaagghhhh!!!"]; Dom, his lifting buddy and special... um... friend; this asshole; some girls; and Coltrane, the Terry Crew type who rounds out these video game Expendables! [Coltrane: "Coltrane don't go woo-woo. It's whoo! Whoo!" Shirtless man in ad: "EXPLOSION!"].
Shoot your way through the planet of Sera, a formerly thriving corridor reduced to linear corridors and conveniently placed half-cover! It's a world besieged by the locust, subterranean beasts who are only slightly uglier than Delta Squad. Kill them without mercy for the crime of trying to protect their fuel source from human invaders - basically Avatar with more beating people to death with their own limbs! Experience a franchise full of unforgettable moments like: firing up the space laser; taking down General Rom; killing Tom's wife to put her out of the living hell her life had become. Or meet the Carmines, a wacky family of accident-prone goofs, who are always in the wrong place at the wrong time. [Characters are shot, eaten and electrocuted. Sitcom laugh track plays]
Hope into multi-player and try to enjoy a game full of latency issues, stupidly overpowered weapons -- and enough whining about the latency issues and overpowered weapons to make multiplayer no fun for anyone! Whether you win or lose! [Player: "ARGH! I CANNOT TAKE IT EVERY TIME I PLAY THIS GAME!"] So rewatch the original cinematic trailer that used the Donnie Darko song to trick you into thinking these games would have emotional depth -- then chug a Surge and turn your hat backwards for three homoerotic bro-fest pain trains that are about as subtle as a curb stomp! And yes, I meant to say three. [Image of Gears of War: Judgment]. That one totally doesn't count.
Starring: Fred Durst (John DiMaggio as Sgt. Marcus Michael Fenix); My Wife (Carlos Ferro as Cpl. Dominic "Dom" Santiago); Bairdman (Fred Tatasciore as Cpl. Damon S. Baird); Terry Tate Office Linebacker (Lester Speight as Pvt. Augustus Cole); Michelle Rodriguez (Claudia Black as Pvt. Samantha Byrne); White Michelle Rodriguez (Nan McNamara as Lt. Anya Stroud); Space Cowboy (Peter Jason as Pvt. Dizzy Wallin); The Flood (Lambent Formers); Uruk Hai (Locust Drones); A Quilf (Carolyn Seymour as Queen Myrrah); Mega Blastoise (Brumaks); The Homeless (The Stranded); Grey Hulk (Berserkers); and Oh My God! They Killed Carmine! You Bastards! (Michael Gough as Pvt. Anthony Carmine)
You know what's more hardcore than a health bar? A giant skull having its period every time you get shot!
Honest Game Trailers - Gears of War has a 98.5% approval rating from YouTube viewers. In their review of the Gears of War Honest Game Trailer, Robin Parrish of Tech Times called the entire series "always-entertaining' and "hilarious." Caleb Reading of Uproxx highlighted many of the video's quips, writing "it’s the game that red-ringed everyone’s Xbox while they rushed to exterminate an indigenous species 'for the crime of trying to protect their fuel source from human invaders. Basically, Avatar with more beating people to death with their own limbs.' Well, when you put it that way, it just makes the game sound even better. It almost makes us forget that the lead characters run around like they pooped their pants and somehow can’t jump, even though they can do somersaults like they’re some kind of 'jaguar ballerina.'"
Geoffrey Tim of Critical Hit wrote "It’s become cool to hate on Gears of War. There’s good reason for it too; the plot is shallower than Darryn’s gene pool, it’s filled with big dumb characters and is so entrenched in muscular bro-culture it’s frightening. There’s a lot to like though. The game pretty much defined the last generation, creating an entire industry of third-person cover shooters with a singular palette. The game is a heck of a lot of fun, was a blast to play co-op, and hitting RAAM in the face with a torque bow is one of the best thing you can do in a videogame. The latest of Smosh Games’ honest trailers captures pretty much all of that. The good, the bad and the ugly. I have to admit to growing a wee bit tired of their Honest Trailers, but because it’s Gears of War, I’m going to let this one slide."
Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh
Directed by Spencer Gilbert
Episode Written by: Spencer Agnew, Joshua Ovenshire, Spencer Gilbert, Matt Sohinki, Matt Raub, Michael Adams Davis, and Michael Schroeder
Edited by Spencer Agnew
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
- Honest Trailer For 'Gears Of War': The Truth Hurts - Tech Times article
- This Honest Trailer Guns For ‘Gears Of War’, AKA ‘Fifty Shades Of Brown’ - Uproxx article
- Gears of War gets the Honest Trailer treatment - Critical Hit article