Half-Life 3 is the 40th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Michael Adams Davis, Michael Schroeder and Spencer Gilbert. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on March 31, 2015 as an April Fool's Day joke to parody the highly-anticipated, non-existent first-person shooter video game Half-Life 3. Half-Life 3 was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 5 million times.
"From our Lord and Savior comes a game that despite all the hype, didn't just surpass our expectations, it took our expectations on a fancy dinner date and then proceeded to f**k our expectations' brains out!" ~ Honest Game Trailers - Half-Life 3
From our Lord and Savior comes a game that despite all the hype, didn't just surpass our expectations, it took our expectations on a fancy dinner date and then proceeded to f**k our expectations' brains out.
After years of speculation over how the most anticipated sequel of all time would be announce, no one could have predicted this [Clip of President Barrack Obama, with dubbing: "It is my great honor to announce Half-Life 3." Congress cheers]. Even though when we take a look back, the signs were there all along [Photo of Obama, with 3 fingers raised].
Immerse yourself in the game so mind-blowingly amazing, critics have already awarded it game of the year - for eternity! And lead famed thespian Ice-T to describe it like this [Ice-T: "I read off the top who that it's better than sin 5 with the Brave New World expansion path."]
After a freak meteor showed grants the combine supernatural abilities, Gordon Freeman must team with Alex, Chell, and Goku to save the world, find the Holy Grail and bring balance to the force while uncovering the true identity of the G-man once and for all: Gabe Newell! Oh! Uh... Spoiler alert!
Gordon Freeman never had a voice until now: yours! Interact with the characters using your own natural voice for an infinity number of infinitely branching conversations ["So how was your weekend?" 'Oh, you know, just, just hung out with the girlfriend." "I wish I had a girlfriend. Just kind of alone all the time."] And even more immersive than the game's built-in Oculus Rift support is the new cock-ulis rift! A device created out of necessity as Beta testers would cream their pants every time they played [Clip of thrusting handjob machine]. Comes free with the game, and so will you!
Along the way, experience even more new features that redefined the medium as we know it like: procedurally-generated weapons; A.I. so intelligent, it does your Spanish homework while you play; and a Portal gun that bridges that gap between the game and reality! [Clip of woman looking through portal] Hello!
But Half-Life 3 is more than just the greatest single-player experience of all time! Dive into any one of the long-awaited masterpieces that come bundled in the tangerine box, like: Team Fortress 3, Left 4 Dead 3, Mass Effect 3 with new endings by Vince Gilligan and Counter-Strike Go! What? It's already perfect?!
So while Half-Life 3 is clearly the pinnacle of human achievement, we have to be honest, so forgive us in advance for these pathetic nitpicks. While the guitar solo mini-boss was incendiary, it was a pain in the ass to dig out an old Rock Band controller, it makes the rest of our lives look s*** by comparison. And even though we loved it when Batman showed up, he was clearly forced in just to be a love interest for the Vortigaunts. But who cares because the open-world space sim Easter Egg is AWESOME!
The fourth level has vortigaunts in it... and vortigaints have four fingers total, so... Half-Life 4 confirmed, you guys!
Honest Game Trailers - Half-Life 3 has a 96.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Cass Anderson of BroBible called the video a "masterpiece." Caleb Reading of Uproxx highlighted many of the video's absurd jokes, "Do you guys remember when President Obama announced Half-Life 3? Oh man, as great as that was, the game was even better, with its Oculus rift support (featuring the Chinese handjob robot), Daniel Day-Lewis nailing his performance as “The Crowbar,” and that unnecessary, but wholly welcomed Batman cameo!" Nathaniel Smyth of Entertainment Buddha also appreciated the satirical video, writing "Smosh Games has brought us the Honest Trailer for Half-Life 3, the game that the federal government never wanted you to know about because it might kill you just by knowing about it. Gabe Newell has been keeping it a secret since before Half Life had ever even come out, and now, thanks to Smosh Games, we can finally know all of the secrets about the game of the millennium. Between the guest appearances from Batman and the Rock, and full voice control for infinite conversation possibilities, and the fact that there’s a 3 at the end of the title, this game is gonna be one for the ages."
Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh
Directed by Spencer Gilbert
Episode Written by: Michael Adams Davis, Michael Schroeder and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Alex Hluch
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
- ‘Half-Life 3’ Confirmed!… To Be The Best Game That Never Was In This Cheeky Honest Trailer. - Uproxx article
- ‘Half-Life 3’ Gets The Trailer It Deserves On This Most Special Of Days - BroBible article
- Half Life 3 Honestly Confirmed - Entertainment Buddha article