Hitman is the 89th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Andrew Bird, Spencer Gilbert, Matt Raub and Max Song. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the stealth video game Hitman. It was published on March 15, 2016. Hitman was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 2 million times.

Watch Honest Game Trailers - Hitman on YouTube

"From the developers that exclusively make games about professional murderers, comes the series that let' you play as a modern assassin - without any of that Creed nonsense." ~ Honest Game Trailers - Hitman

Script Edit

From the developers that exclusively make games about professional murderers, comes the series that lets you play as a modern assassin - without any of that Creed nonsense.


Enter the world of a killer for hire in Hitman, a stealth action game where you'll travel to exotic locations across the globe, meet people from all different walks of life, and strangle them with piano wire! Sorry lady, I'm just doing my job!

Get fitted for the expensive suit of Agent 47, a cloned assassins genetically designed to be the perfect killing machine, who somehow came out looking like a cross between Jason Statham and the guy from Powder. Then take on contracts from shadowy agencies as you murder your way to the answers you seek. Until you get double-crossed by everyone and you have to snuff them in a featureless white void!

Get ready for stealth gameplay that ranges from tense to downright tedious, as you wait for slowly patrolling guards, squat in sniper spots, wind your way through massive crowds, and carefully creep everywhere you go, painstakingly executing every step of your master plan -- until the tiniest of mistake completely spoils you silent assassin rating and you just give up and mow everyone down with machine gun! Now this is my kind of stealth game!

Prepare to combine your lust for blood with an eye for fashion, as Hitman offers you more opportunities to play dress-up than most games starring Barbie! As you pull off elaborate plots dressed as a chef, doctor, wrestler, mechanic and even a ninja! Then walk directly passed guards every time despite your extreme baldness, pockets stuffed full of murder weapons and the giant barcode tattooed on the back of your head!

Choose your weapon and then make use of a plethora of deadly gadgets, then take out your target is some of the most diverse murder scenarios ever crammed into one series! Featuring: sniping, car bombs, electrocution, dropping a chandelier on some people, dropping a weight on a guy's neck, serving poisoned food, exploding a guy in his lab, intentionally botching an operation, smothering an old man with a pillow, taking out a bunch of multicultural murder nuns, killing a giant fat Danny Trejo in a cage match, slaughtering a ton of clone of yourself, and faking your own death so you can murder everyone who shows up at your funeral! Wait, if you're a silent unknown assassin, who's gonna show up at your funeral?

So experience the best in contract killing games and extreme baldness simulators and learn to love the unique character of the Hitman series -- before they screw it all up by releasing an unfinished game. But hey, at least they can't mess up the franchise any more than the movies did!

Starring: A Dead Guy; Another Dead Guy; A Third Dead Guy; This Dead Lady; Some More Murdered Dudes; A Room Full of Corpses; and Timothy Olyphant.

HITMAN (Honest Game Trailers) Cannot transcribe this video 3-21 screenshot

The honest title for Hitman was 'Hitmonchan.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.


[Hitman dances awkwardly on a packed dancefloor]

Just stay calm. Act natural. This is how humans dance, right?

 Reception Edit

Honest Game Trailers - Hitman has a 98.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers.

Production creditsEdit

Honest game trailer hitman

Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Hitman.

Executive Producers: Matt Raub and Spencer Gilbert

Directed by: Max Song

Episode Written by: Andrew Bird, Spencer Gilbert, Matt Raub, Max Song

Edited by: Max Song

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

External link Edit

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.