Judgment is the 234th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird and Spencer Gilbert. It parodies the action-adventure video game Judgment. It was published on July 23, 2019.
Watch Honest Game Trailers - Judgment on YouTube
"Now, if you excuse me, I have to go get my virtual girlfriend a gift!" ~ Honest Game Trailers - Judgment
Script []
In the seedy underbelly of Tokyo, one man will bring the truth to light from the deepest recesses of darkness the only way he knows how: beating the life out of people in alleys!
Judgment
But your ticket and take a ride on the Yakuza train, the game series that poses the question - what if Shenmue were good? In a spinoff that doesn't hide the fact that it's basically just another one of those games. Featuring everything that makes Yakuza incredible, like over the top violence, bizarre choices in what to hyper-focus on, a tone that fluctuates between deadly serious and Monty Python silly, and literally the exact same map. For people who have been interested in the Yakuza series but don't have 300 hours to invest getting caught up on all the tiger-punching!
Discover the virbrant neighborhood of Kamurocho, a bustling hub of hustling con men and tussling gangsters. And don the feathery locks of Takayuki Yagami, a disgraced lawyer-turned-detective who looks like a pop star. Then start your search for an elusive serial killer terrorizing the streets and uncover a conspiracy of epic proportions by showing up to places and whipping everyone's ass until they tell you what's going on! With insane martial arts skills that feel less justified now that you're not an actual Yakuza. Seriously, this guy's protagonist powers are off the charts!
Get ready to ignore the life or death stakes of the story entirely and sink your teeth into the real meat of the game: the side activities! Featuring tons of weirdos to help with their problems, dozens of cafes and restaurants to dine at, cats to take pictures of, drones to race, mahjong, card games, pinball, crane games, batting cages, darts (Sighs), a full on dating sim, a bunch of Segaroms they just dumped into the video game, and basically anything else that catches your short attention span. In a series that less about the finish line and more about much time you waste before you get there. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go get my virtual girlfriend a gift!
Jump-kick into frantic street fights of Judgment, as you're forced to very seriously injure six guys every time you want to grab a sandwich by unleashing furious combos with your different martial arts forms - or just beating them savagely with whatever's within reach! In excessive use of force that's objectivly more criminal than what most of the thugs are doing! [Character viciously beats up thug] Oooh! There's no way he's not dead! Then face one of the numerous bosses and prepare for the tables to turn when they suddenly start blocking sometimes! That'll actually have you taking the game seriously.... ehh... for about five minutes! Or just slamming the super saiyan button and chugging energy drinks until everyone's dead! In combat that proves you don't need complicated mechanics to have fun! Just the ability to suplex a bicycle into someone's chest!
Uncover the sleuthing mechanics of Judgment, and get ready to get your hands dirty as you don different disguises, chase down perps in everyone's favorite QuickTime sequences, tail persons of interest really, really poorly, canvas crime scenes, question person of interest, then use clues to present as evidence in investigation sequences. In gameplay that balances fighting with good old-fashioned gum-chewery and doesn't even try to hide the fact that it's basically Ace Attorney. In a private eye experience that will challenge your intuition and problem solving ability, but will never be as difficult as figuring out what key to use on the door. Uhh, no! Not that one! No I just tried that one (exhales) This might take a while...!
So tie up your ass-kicking shoes, and spray that hair for a unique experience that you won't find anywhere else -- except the 700 Yakuza games before this! But come on, is dressing up as bad Halloween Dracula to chase your perp isn't game of the year material, I don't know what is!
Starring: J Rock Sherlock (Greg Chun as Takayuki Yagami); Punished Kiyru (Crispin Freeman as Masaharu Kaito); 2Chan (Mark Whitten as Fumiya Sugiura/"Jester"); Majima Light (Steve Blum as Toru Higashi); Human Tom Nook (Brian McNamara as Ryuzo Genda); S#!ttani (Keythe Farley as Masamichi Shintani); Emo Maya Fey (Aimée Castle as Saori Shirosaki); Luke Triton (Joe Zieja as Issei Hoshino); Lana Skye (Cherami Leigh as Mafuyu Fujii); Bald Edgeworth (Ray Chase as Keigo Izumida); Face Off (Fred Tatasciore as Kyohei Hamura); The Raincoat Killer (The Mole); and Ass Catchem.
The honest title for Judgment was 'Kamurocho Noire.'
Even with the constant threat of death, there's nothing more nerve-racking than picking the perfect girlfriend dialogue! Do I ask her about her hobbies or take a picture? God, I wish I had real experience with a woman as a reference!
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Judgment.
Written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Max Song