Kingdom Hearts is the 28th episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Matthew Brian Cohen, Spencer Gilbert, Matt Sohinki, Joshua Ovenshire, David Moss, Matt Raub, Michael Adams Davis, and Michael Schroeder. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the crossover action role-playing video game Kingdom Hearts. It was published on January 6, 2015. Kingdom Hearts was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 4 million times.
"A mashup of franchises that goes together like soy sauce and ketchup." ~ Honest Game Trailers - Kingdom Hearts
[Numerous requests for Kingdom Hearts appear]
From the Japanese company [Square Enix] who's dominated the culture by rehashing the same predictable formula for decades and its American equivalent [Disney], comes a mashup of franchises that goes together like soy sauce and ketchup. Mmm, not as bad as you think.
Journey across the Disney universe to track down Kingdom Hearts and defeat the evil Ansem who is not the real Ansem, but Xehanort's Heartless who is also named Ansem. The real Ansem is named DiZ, but his apprentice, Xehanort, stole his identity after Master Xehanort forced his soul into the body of Terra. Who's Terra, you ask? Terra, along with Aqua and Ven, were originally tasked by Master Eraqus to defeat Master Xehanort. The real Ansem was actually a good guy. Once you beat Ansem who is Xehanort's Heartless, you have to fight Xemnas, Xehanort's Nobody. Nobodies are created when someone turns into a Heartless. They don't have feelings, except when they actually do. They want Hearts, so Xehanort, who is actually Terra-Xehanort, went back in time to find several copies of Xehanort. Also, Donald Duck is in it. [Ta da!]
Your journey begins with Sora, a ten-year-old boy with enough zippers and belts to start his own bondage convention. Follow along on his quest to master the Keyblade, a weapon that looks stupid and impractical even by Final Fantasy standards. With only six living masters in the world, Sora's got some big shoes to fill. In addition to his actual gigantic shoes. Along for the ride are two of the most famous cartoon characters of all time. But don't worry if you forget everyone's name because they'll remind you every five seconds ["Roxas: Sora, Donald, and Goofy." Goofy: "We're Sora, Donald, and Goofy." Tron: "Sora, Donald, Goofy." Sora: "I'm Sora, he's Donald, and that's Goofy." Goofy: "Sora!" Sora: "Goofy! Donald!"] ARGH! I know already!
Fight side-by-side with Dolan and Gooby, while visiting some of Disney's most beloved characters.... and also Quasimodo. As you cross paths with the Hot Topic-y versions of your favorite Final Fantasy heroes... and also Vivi. In these fun fast-paced action RPGs with great mechanics that are buried under nearly fourteen hours of cut scenes. We counted! [Cut scene total: 14:23:06].
Blast off into a game series with more padding than Kairi's training bra. From KHI's terrible space shooting segments, to KHII's never-ending tutorial, to reusing the exact same worlds over and over and over and over and over again. Wait, doesn't Disney own Pixar?! Where's Nemo World? Monsters Inc.?! Come on!
So while you wait patiently for Kingdom Hearts III to never come out, buy a minimum of four different consoles so you can play all of the HD Remixes, glorified cellphone games, and portable spinoffs that sound like they've been named by a random word generator. Because the only thing more powerful than darkness, light, and the Keyblade are greed, laziness and corporate synergy.
Starring: Generic Anime Guys (Haley Joel Osment as Sora, Jesse McCartney as Ventus, and Alyson Stoner as Xion); Hatsune Riku (David Gallagher as Riku); Disney Spelled Backwards (Corey Burton as Yen Sid); American Pikachu (Wayne Allwine as King Mickey); SSJ Trunks (Steve Burton as Cloud Strife); Boys In Da Hood (Organization XIII); MC Hammer Pants (Scott Weigner as Aladdin); Aflac (Tony Anselmo as Donald Duck); Disney's Wolverine (Robby Benson as Beast); Evil Adele (Pat Carroll as Ursula); GLaDOS (Corey Burton as Master Control Program); A Dog (Bill Farmer as Pluto); and Also a Dog (Bill Farmer as Goofy)? Huh, interesting. So one wears pants?
Sephiroth: "I am the chosen one! I shall be reborn!"
Where have I heard that voice before?
Lance Bass: "You always kinda ask that question like, could he be gay?"
Honest Game Trailers - Kingdom Hearts has a 98.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Nathan Greyson of Kotaku appreciated the video's complaints about the lack of a Pixar world and the game's "madly confusing story and mind-boggling character naming schemes." He noted that "the whole thing is done with Honest Trailers' usual wry grin, so probably don't get too upset if you're a big fan of the series."
Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh
Directed by Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Cliff Lloret
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
- Not Even Honest Trailers Can Keep Up With Kingdom Hearts' Story - Kotaku article
- Honest Game Trailer For ‘Kingdom Hearts’ Video Game Series - Geeks of Doom article
- VIDEO: "Kingdom Hearts" Gets a Really Confused Honest Game Trailer - Crunchy Roll article
- ‘Also, Donald Duck Is In It!’: Honest Trailers Tries To Explain ‘Kingdom Hearts’ - Uproxx article