Metal Gear Survive is the 192nd episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Andrew Bird, Max Song & Spencer Gilbert. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the action-adventure survival video game Metal Gear Survive. It was published on March 20, 2018. Metal Gear Survive was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 800k times.
Watch Honest Game Trailers - Metal Gear Survive on YouTube
"A game experience that feels like getting a root canal while the dentist brags about banging your mom." ~ Honest Game Trailers - Metal Gear Survive
Script[]
In an age where everything is rebooted and re-imagined, watch what happens when a developer that's made classic video games since the 1980's takes one of the most acclaimed and beloved franchises... and takes a massive diarrhea s*** all over it!
Metal Gear Survive
Experience the terrible state of modern Konami firsthand as they fire Kojima and most of the people who make their video games to focus on health clubs and pachinko, then decide they haven't quite sucked enough money out of MGS 5's Fox Engine yet and scrape together a joyless zombie survival game with a mind-numbing horde mode in a desperate attempt to milk a few more microtransactions out of Metal Gear fans before destroying the series forever, resulting in a game experience that feels like getting a root canal while the dentist brags about banging your mom.
Drag yourself through the desolate world of Dite as you fall through a wormhole - that for some reason appeared between Phantom Pain and MGS 5- into a horrible zombie-filled desert of despair, where you'll gather crystals to power your teleportation machine while uncovering the world's least interesting conspiracy that reads like bad Kojima fan fiction, is delivered 90% in text, and has almost nothing to do with a political anime drama of the original series, in a storyline that isn't nearly enough justification to slog through this nightmare of a video game. But hey, you still got those sweet Metal Gear sound effects! (Sighs) You know a game's bad when this is the high point of playing it.
Pick through Survive's Frankenstein patchwork of game mechanics that cross survival game meter management with tower defense and pops the whole thing into the MGS 5 sandbox, in a design aesthetic that screams "What's popular with the kids today?", where you'll desperately fight off the relentless horde while constantly keeping your thirst and hunger in check, being afflicted by cuts, bleeding and diseases and searching for materials to build another fence too foil this game's dumb-as-rocks AI, in a convoluted gameplay experience that feels like running errands with a gun pointed at your head while the game constantly nags at you to suck less. ["Pay attention to your fluid intake." "Please eat something while there's still time." "Your life has dropped."] Y-You can't tell me what to do!!! ["Your life is dangerously low." (Falls over dead)] F***!!!!!
Once you've had your fill of loneliness, hop into co-op mode that will pair you up with three other poor decision makers to do the exact same thing you did in single player and put up a fence or two while poking things with a stick occasionally, then die in two hits and get revived with shots to the dick until the much higher level dude you're playing with beats the round for you and you get a bunch of rewards and recipes -- that you'll unfortunately have to keep playing this video game to use... Honestly, the most fun you're gonna have is the ready screen when you're all trying to fence each other in a blow each other up!
So sharpen that pike and jump into that wormhole for a game that's somehow both better than you thought it would be and still f***ing terrible at the same time. But hey, if it does have anything going for it, at least it's one of a kind, because it's definitely not getting a sequel. Maybe you can finally rest in peace Big Boss...
Starring: Disbelief; Denial; Bargaining; Guilt; Anger; and Acceptance.
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The honest title for Metal Gear Survive was '#NotMyMetalGear.'
#NotMyMetalGear
Apparently one of the devs snuck in an Easter Egg that says "Kojima Productions forever." Even to this day, they can't stop Kojima from trolling! [Kojima character: "That was perfect."]
Viewer Comments[]
Say "you were supposed to fill my dark soul with LIIIIIIIIGHT!" - JackgarPrime
Please say this "I wear the same clothes like I'm in a anime. Please help me." - MrFedoraFilm
Say "Never smoke the devil's lettuce" - Cruz DeLeon
say "I shall honor you with 30% of my strength" - OHG Fawx
Trivia[]
- There is also an episode of Honest Game Trailers about Metal Gear Solid.
Reception[]
Honest Game Trailers - Metal Gear Survive has a 98.6% approval rating from YouTube viewers. In his review of the Honest Game Trailer, Ryan Winslett of CinemaBlend observed "the criticism is brutal right out of the gate, claiming that Metal Gear Survive straight-up craps all over the beloved franchise it shamelessly attempts to cash in on as if nobody noticed what happened between Kojima and Konami a few years back." Winslett also noted "to its credit, despite all of the shots fired, the HGT refers to Metal Gear Survive as 'better than you thought it would be.' Then again, they follow that up by saying it's still a terrible experience at the same time, which speaks to how low their expectations were in the first place. If that can be taken as a complement then, fine, we suppose Survive has earned it."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - Metal Gear Survive.
Executive Producers: Matt Raub and Spencer Gilbert
Episode Written by: Andrew Bird, Max Song & Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Max Song
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
External links[]
- Metal Gear Survive's Honest Game Trailer Is As Brutal As You'd Expect - CinemaBlend article