Minecraft Dungeons is the 280th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert. It parodies the dungeon crawler video game Minecraft Dungeons. It was published on June 9, 2020. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
From the series that changed the geometric gaming landscape forever, and the brilliant mind behind it all, comes a bold new direction for the series: making it a low-effort Diablo clone.
Rock out with your block out in the Minecraft world once again, as Mojang throws out another game whose main purpose is... to remind people that Minecraft exists, as Dungeons attempts to supplement the robust creation simulator with Baby's First Linear Isometric Dungeon Crawler, in an extremely casual button-masher with almost no mechanics to speak of, that feels like it's from the PS1 era. I mean, you can say it's for kids, but even kids can figure out real-ass Minecraft.
Thrash your way through the many cubic environments of Dungeons, as a generic classless hero where your main customization choice is how much denim you want to wear, who is questing to stop the Arch-Illager from taking over... I guess, the server (?), a thing they barely bother to explain and just sort of assume you'll care about, as you run through eerie swamps, forests, and caves pressing A on their inhabitants, appreciating the occasional non-standard Minecraft block they threw in to make this game look slightly less like it's 100 years old. Then, move on to a new level to do the same exact thing until the final showdown, in a gameplay loop so obvious, you wonder why they even bothered with a narrative. Look, all I'm trying to say is, the last time Minecraft tried to have a plot, a whole company (Telltale Games) went bankrupt.
Slash and shoot your way through waves of iconic enemies from the series, flailing wildly at anything that's in your kill radius, compulsively picking up the sweet, sweet loot that will be obsolete in the next few seconds, and, of course, never mining anything -- because why would you want a Minecraft spin-off to have that? -- as you fight a constant battle against the game's real enemy: falling asleep while you're playing it. Then, tell yourself that this is a baby game for infants and crank the difficulty up, until you start getting absolutely ravaged by a bunch of different-colored rectangles, and realize that making the enemies do half your health bar in a hit isn't making this game any more fun. (slurring speech) But at least playing it that way doesn't feel like chugging a bottle of pixelated Xanax...
Snatch up the gobs of loot that Minecraft has to offer, as it replaces any sort of builds or character progression with artifacts that will have you flying across the map shooting laser beams and summoning dogs, and enchantable equipment that will let you customize your abilities to become a lean, mean Creeper-killing machine, riiight up until you get a better item and immediately salvage the old one, leaving you without any real attachment to your character or build and no reason to replay it once you're done, other than a pure animal lust for watching numbers go up that literally any mobile game could satisfy. Not only was this game clearly designed for children, but I'm pretty sure it was designed by people who hate children.
So put on your shiny new armor blocks, for a game that doesn't have anything to do with what makes Minecraft great, and doesn't really do anything special with the genre either, but will make your children go, "That's the guy from the good game I play!" So hey, I guess you nailed it, Mojang. Congratulations.
Starring: The Unjolly Green Dildo (Creepers); The Blocking Dead (Zombies); Bone Hurt Juice (Skeletons); Nude Slender Man (Endermen); The Illage People (Illagers); Cratos (Mooshroom Monstrosity); King Lego-ric (Summoners); Mr. Mosquito (Arch-Illager); and Horadric Cubes (Characters).
You know, if you ran Gauntlet Dark Legacy at the lowest resolution, I bet you couldn't even tell the difference.
Viewer Comments Edit
Please say: "You're gonna need a bigger boat" - Bryce McKenzie
Say, "Welcome back, Mr. Anderson, we MISSED you..." - TheMythriel
Please say: "It's not a Graduation; he is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade." - D B
Say: "I will find you. And I will eat you" - Peter James Villegas
Please say: "School, school never changes." - Matiss bruklens
Honest Game Trailers - Minecraft Dungeons has a 95.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers.
Production Credits Edit
Edited by: Max Song
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Supervising Producer: Max Dionne