Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl is the 360th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert, and narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the role-playing video games Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl, remakes of the 4th Generation Pokémon games Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. It was published on December 21, 2021. It has been viewed over 50,000 times.
Script[]
In a time when you've never had more choices about what kind of gaming experience you want to have, bury your head like the shameless ostrich that you are, and consume another regurgitated Pokémon game from the gullet of Mama Nintendo... 'cause paying for the same crap over and over again is basically the entirety of being a Pokémon fan.
Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and... Shining Pearl? Really? That's what they went with?
Revisit the beautiful linear corridors of Sinnoh once again, as the Pokémon franchise continues its graphical upgrade to reach approximately the PS2 era, with a 3D reimagining of the original art for the Game Boy, meaning every character is squat and deformed until you get into a fight and they look like normal people, a graphical convention that held up better in the time of the original Final Fantasy VII, but that will probably be loved by the hardcore Pokémon people because it allows the developers to not fundamentally change anything about the game, in a remake that sticks so close to the original, that it's basically made for people who have already played it multiple times, and are willing to fork up full-price just to have an excuse to play it again, because nothing numbs the pain of existing like regressing into your childhood for a few hours, and you're way too tired now to try and care about new things.
Experience the "updates" made to this mediocre remake, literally, because the XP Share is turned on all the time, one of several decisions made to smooth out a difficulty curve that was already basically a flat line, ensuring that if you're not an actual baby, you'll basically blow through the entire game without a single challenge, especially with a revamped Underground that lets you stack your team even more with Pokémon from various biomes, although you don't get the National Dex or any of the improvements from Platinum as a trade-off -- probably because they're going to try to sell that again in a few months -- in a design that makes the latest Pokémon games look full of innovation, and let me tell you, that's saying a lot.
So cast aside your better judgment and get ready to chuck slop from the Pokémon trough, in a game that's really only appealing for the type of person that has to have the remastered version of everything they already own. But of course, in the spirit of Pokémon, we're also going to make minor changes while repackaging the same thing. That's right; we're doing the names, but this time, VERY. SLIGHTLY. DIFFERENTLY.
Starring (Sinnoh Regional Pokédex):
- Adolescent Bonzai Turtle (Turtwig)
- The Singer from The Prodigy (Grotle)
- Bulbasaur from Wish (Torterra)
- A Little Curious George (Chimchar)
- Makeup Tutorial George (Monferno)
- Full-On Drag George (Infernape)
- Happy Feet (Piplup)
- High School Depression Feet (Prinplup)
- Giving Up on Your Dreams to Work a Corporate Job Feet (Empoleon)
- A Dirty Chicken Nugget (Starly)
- Staravia-ing for Ideas (Staravia)
- Pigeon at the Disco (Staraptor)
- Big Oof (Bidoof)
- Beavers Wide Shut (Bibarel)
- Jiminy Copyright (Kricketot)
- Retired Scyther (Kricketune)
- Puberty (Shinx, Luxio, Luxray)
- Abra (Abra)
- Kadabra (Kadabra)
- Now You're in a Cult (Alakazam)
- Unsatisfied in the Bedroom? (Magikarp)
- Try Viagra! (Gyarados)
- Baby Nut (Budew)
- Here, Smell My Fingers (Roselia)
- Rose Parade (Roserade)
- Corona (Zubat)
- Delta (Golbat)
- Omicron (Crobat)
- Igneous (Geodude)
- Sedimentary (Graveler)
- Dwayne The Rock Johnson (Golem)
- Anal Beads (Onix)
- Painal Beads (Steelix)
- Junior Football (Cranidos)
- CTE (Rampardos)
- Young Shieldon (Shieldon)
- Big Bang Theory Viewer (Bastiodon)
- Makick Machop It's All in the Mind (Machop)
- Machoke Me Daddy (Machoke)
- Machamp Me Father (Machamp)
- M.O.D.U.C.K. (Psyduck)
- Mallard Mind (Golduck)
- I Don't Know, A Cashew? (Burmy)
- Those Hanging Plants You Can't Keep Alive (Wormadam)
- Mothra Please Come Back Mothra (Mothim)
- Wurmple Nurple (Wurmple)
- Wilson (Silcoon)
- Instagram Model Butterfree (Beautifly)
- Wilson (Cascoon)
- Reddit Commenter Butterfree (Dustox)
- Combee-nati Oh I Get It (Combee)
- Big Mom-bee Energy (Vespiquen)
- Basically Sonic (Pachirisu)
- Otter-Crap (Buizel, Floatzel)
- Open Your Mind, Quaid, Open Your Mind (Cherubi)
- I Literally Don't Know What I'm Looking At (Cherrim)
- Naked Turbo (Shellos)
- A Tide Pod (Gastrodon)
- Big Bad Beetleborg (Heracross)
- The Not-On-Fire Monkey (Aipom)
- The Palmela Handerson Sisters (Ambipom)
- Up (Drifloon)
- Up But with the Hindenberg (Drifblim)
- Child Disney Star (Buneary)
- Child Disney Star When They Turn 18 (Lopunny)
- Ghostly (Gastly)
- Poltergeister (Haunter)
- Greg (Gengar)
- The Ghost of a Discarded Glove (Misdreavus)
- The Ghost of a One-Night Stand (Mismagius)
- From Goth (Murkrow)
- To Boss (Honchkrow)
- Before Pandemic (Glameow)
- After Pandemic (Purugly)
- An Angry Water Balloon (Goldeen)
- Seaking Companionship (Seaking)
- A Fishlight (Barboach)
- JK Swimins in Whiscash (Whiscash)
- Chingaling Your Dingaling (Chingling)
- Long Flappy Balllsssss (Chimecho)
- Pepé Le Pew (Stunky)
- Pepé Le Harassment Claim (Skuntank)
- Cocaine Smurf (Meditite)
- MC Hammer (Medicham)
- Pass (Bronzor)
- I Said Pass! (Bronzong)
- A Burnt Butthole (Ponyta)
- Immol-anus (Rapidash)
- I Don't Know, A Chestnut? (Bonsly)
- The Unforgiving Tree (Sudowoodo)
- Exhibitionist Orko (Mime Jr.)
- Ash's Stepdad (Mr. Mime)
- JoJo Siwa (Happiny)
- Paula Deen (Chansey)
- Paula Deen with an Apron (Blissey)
- Pieces of Chewed Bubble Gum Under the Desk (Cleffa, Clefairy, Clefable)
- Dandy Crow (Chatot)
- Nintendo (Pichu)
- Merchandising (Pikachu)
- Not You! (Raichu)
- I'm Not High I Swear (Hoothoot)
- Guardians of Ga'Hoole (Noctowl)
- A Beyblade (Spiritomb)
- Baby Shark (Gible)
- Street Shark (Gabite)
- UFC Shark (Garchomp)
- Totoros (Munchlax, Snorlax)
- One Googley Eye (Unown)
- Karate Kit (Riolu)
- Fursona Kai (Lucario)
- Salamander King, Home of the Wooper (Wooper)
- Disturbing Quiet Guy (He Will Murder You) (Quagsire)
- Gulliver (Wingull)
- Geoffrey Rush was the Pelican in Finding Nemo, Just Thought You Should Know (Pelipper)
- Girafarigging the Election (Girafarig)
- Famished Famished Semi-Aquatic Mammals (Hippopotas, Hippowdon)
- Okay Are You a Mouse or Are You a Rabbit?! (Azurill, Marill, Azumarill)
- Serious Glasses (Skorupi)
- Tsundere Twin Tails (Drapion)
- Toxic Gamer (Croagunk)
- The Arbiter (Toxicroak)
- Piranha Plant at Home (Carnivine)
- I Sharted (Remoraid)
- Hit That Bongtopus (Octillery)
- Victoria's Sea-cret (Finneon, Lumineon)
- A Tenta Cool Guy (Tentacool)
- White Guy Dreads (Tentacruel)
- I Sharted Too (Feebas)
- Weird Flex-Mon (Milotic)
- Precious Flat Bois (Mantyke, Mantine)
- Hard Mode Butt Plug (Snover)
- Thanks, Aboma (Abomasnow)
- Bless You (Sneasel)
- Wakanda Forever (Weavile)
- Sleepy (Uxie)
- Grumpy (Mesprit)
- Therapy (Azelf)
- A Very Uncomfortable Chair (Dialga)
- A Very Angry Erection (Palkia)
...and...
- Definitely Not a Chao (Manaphy)
Pokémon Barely Diamond and Sorta Pearl
You know, instead of the graphics, maybe they should focus on making the game actually fun to play, outside of the context of third-party websites.
Viewer Comments[]
Say, "I'm Mario & I'm still unmarried" - Max Waily
Say "I don't know what that it is, but it's my fetish now" - Taifastfire
Please say "your argument was good, but this fluffy kitten is better." - Macrochenia
Say "I need a monster to clobber that there Kirby" - Liam Funnyman
Say "I still know Kung Fu" - David Lance
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Written by: Max Song, Andrew Bird and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Max Song
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Post-Production Coordinator: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Assistant Editor: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne