Resident Evil 3 is the 276th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert. It parodies the remake of the survival horror video game Resident Evil 3: Nemesis. It was published on May 12, 2020. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
In a world where every old franchise is getting the 4K face-lift, and nostalgia might as well be its own genre, get ready for Capcom to take it even farther than they have before, as they continue to sell you the Resident Evil franchise all over again.
Resident Evil 3 (Remake)
Dive into Raccoon City once again, as S.T.A.R.S. agent and sandwich Jill Valentine...
Barry Burton: You were almost a Jill sandwich!
Jill Valentine: You're right!
...with a completely new look and brand-new 'tude...
Jill Valentine: What the f*ck? / Are you f*cking kidding me?! / What the f*ck?!
...gets her ass beat by everyone's favorite Frankenstein, Nemesis, all over again, in a gritty remaster that looks like a million bucks, but also extremely streamlines the experience, with a heavier emphasis on gunplay, practically no puzzles, and completely cut content, making it feel hollow in a way that's extremely appropriate for the remake of Resident Evil 3, especially when you realize the entire game is, like, six hours long. But don't worry; there's always the free multiplayer game you didn't ask for to make up for the rest of that $60 purchase. (in a heavy Southern accent) What, you want to just buy the game for $30? This is a mainstay title, you rube! You absolute fool! What do you think this is, Lost Planet?!
Scavenge through the ruins of the most unlucky video game city in existence, aside from maybe Silent Hill, as Capcom reimagines the pixelated architecture of the original PlayStation into a grand, photo-realistic cityscape that you will barely get to explore before it throws you into sewers, labs, a hospital, and... some sort of meat maze, where each new level is a visually stunning setpiece that's as interesting to explore as the line at the DMV, with maps that are less about finding your way through an open world and more like a pretty-looking scavenger hunt for ammo, that passes the time until the next room full of mutants to explode, and if you think there's nothing wrong with that, then clearly, you're one of the ones that liked RE6. Look, not everyone is going to understand how great it is to frantically crawl on the ground shooting zombies in the dick; not everyone can be as cultured like we are.
Blast several gaping holes into the action of RE3, as you double-tap anything with the semblance of a human silhouette, in gameplay that's almost identical to the RE2 remake but with an awkward dodge mechanic taped on, where you'll mostly miss the timing to get chomped on by monsters and get caught in a 30-second animation of watching your character get pulverized in twenty different ways. (Jill gets attacked by a Drain Deimos) Aaugh! I think I need to gargle some bleach! Not that you'll need to dodge most of the time, because the game practically drowns you in supplies, letting you pump, blow, and explode anything that comes within a millimeter of you. Then, switch to the fluffy-haired commando Carlos and get even shootier, as they throw the "survival" aspect out completely and plop in a horde mode sequence for good measure, making the basic zombies feel about as threatening as targeting range dummies, forcing them to give everything one-shot kill attacks so you don't just sleepwalk through the entire game. The gunplay feels like it's taking just as many cues from the RE movies this time. (Leon shoots at a Licker jumping over him) Yep, this is basically every fight in the game.
Encounter the crème de la crème of RE3, the Nemesis...
Jill Valentine: Bitch can't even swim.
...as Capcom wastes no time having their iconic antagonist Kool-Aid Guy through the wall...
Kool-Aid Man: (as Nemesis bursts through walls) Oh yeah! Here comes Kool-Aid! Here comes Kool-Aid! Gonna save the day!
...this time sporting a variety of fierce new looks and a nose that can only be described as "upsetting", who will chase you around the map sometimes teleporting right in front of you to clothesline you into the ground, and who creates fun special zombies that look like Las Plagas mutated into a Minion (Jill shoots at a Nemesis Alpha as it babbles like a Minion), for some extremely tense gameplay that becomes pretty short-lived when you realize he gives up extremely easily whenever the plot thinks it's convenient, in a device that brings a real cinematic edge to the game that it could've used a whole lot more of, as the iconic relentlessness he's known for devolves into a series of boss fights, that are the best fights in the game if you don't take him out with, like, three grenades right away. (Jill tosses a grenade at Nemesis, causing him to collapse; a man looks on in confusion as a cutscene plays)
So get those thighs ready and dodge into RE3 Remake today, for a rootin', shootin' good time with a light Resident Evil aftertaste that's about as long as two Marvel movies, and in a world of 100-hour games, maybe a nice, tight zombie romp might just be the thing you're looking for. And if that isn't enough, you could always still play Resistance. (a clip of a player waiting for nearly ten minutes for others to join a match) Ha! No, I'm just kidding; nobody plays the RE multiplayers...
Starring: The Master of Unlocking (Nicole Tompkins as Jill Valentine); Gritty Reboot Big Bird (Jeff Schine as Carlos Oliveira); Will Sasso (Darren O'Hare as Brad Vickers); Bill Overbeck (William Hope as Mikhail Victor); The Black Guy That Doesn't Die in the Horror... Oh, Never Mind (Sterling Sulieman as Tyrell Patrick); Ey Nikolai It's Your Cousin, Why Don't You Take Me Bowling! (Neil Newbon as Nicholai Ginovaef); and Parasite Steve (David Cockman as Nemesis).
Resident Evil 3: Reshoot
Maybe this remake is so short because they were busy working on the new RE4 remake. Why are they remaking 4? Money. Would I pay to watch Leon kill a zombie with an egg in hi-def? Haha, absolutely!
Viewer Comments Edit
Say: "double kill. Triple kill. Headshot! Kingslayer!" - Joshua Onyejiaka
Please say: "Hibbidy dibbidy, now that's some diddly." - Brendan Lafferty
Please say: "It takes a hundred thousand ants to make a decent sandwich, but I'm having trouble with just one." - D B
"Father? Is that you?" - Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order - deathsyth8888
"unknown to death, nor known to life" - ElAbdul
Honest Game Trailers - Resident Evil 3 has a 98.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers.
Production Credits Edit
Edited by: Max Song
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Supervising Producer: Max Dionne