Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is the 254th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert, and narrated by Brad Venable. It parodies the action-adventure video game Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. It was published on December 10, 2019. It has been viewed over 900,000 times.
Script []
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when a beloved franchise had been pushed to the brink of mediocrity by an evil empire, one new IP will rise up to fight back against the tyranny of the dark side... by finally making a good Star Wars game that won't make you take out a mortgage.
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
Get ready for yet another drop in the endless deluge of new Star Wars content with a fresh franchise that turned out to be light-years away from the usual slurry of recycled material from the films, that instead delves into the largely-ignored Extended Universe, and miraculously delivers a Star Wars game where you never go to Hoth or Tatooine, but instead are introduced to a new cast of characters, creatures, and an apparently canonical storyline -- that's right, nerds; get out those timelines -- that might make even the most callous Star Wars Internet hater feel the Force stir in their heart once more... as long as you can get over it being janky as sh*t. Seriously, I have seen more polished shipwrecks.
Slip into the many ponchos of Cal Kestis, one of the few survivors of the prequel movies (Anakin prepares to slaughter a group of younglings) and now the galaxy's only ginger Jedi, who is forced out of hiding by the Inquisitors, a bunch of less-threatening Darth Vader knockoffs, and sets out with a ragtag group of rebels to rebuild the Jedi Order the only way he knows how: diplomacy -- just kidding; it's killing a million guys with a lightsaber -- in a story that delivers on the gravitas during the cutscenes and mostly just lets you ignore it and beat up stormtroopers for the rest of it. Aagh! Stop hitting me! Why is this the only part of the timeline where they taught these guys to aim?
Brandish the neon light pole of the Jedi and swing it around like an inflatable tube at anything that has the audacity to be in your kill zone, in an action hybrid that does what any smart modern video game does and just mashes up things you already like, featuring: the on-rails climbing and platforming of the Uncharted games; the puzzle-solving of, uh, also the Uncharted games; unlockable abilities that let you traverse previously unaccessible areas like the Metroid, in case you feel like spending half an hour backtracking through a massive level to unlock a new paint job for your ship; and a heaping helping of the Dark Souls formula, complete with checkpoints that respawn enemies and refill health, parry-based combat, and even crazy old NPCs hanging out in weird places (shots of NPCs from Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Dark Souls chuckling to themselves), even though it breaks the unspoken rule of the Soulsborne dogma and lets you change the difficulty. These nerf-herding casuals!
Juggle lightsaber techniques, parries, and dodge mechanics in Fallen Order's intricate combat system, only to get pummeled by the literal hordes of enemies and lasers they throw at you. Then revive and just use your powers to cheese everything to death -- because the real penalty isn't losing all your experience; it's having to sit through the minute-long load times or elevator rides -- in a gameplay experience that's really rough around the edges, but delivers the most satisfying lightsaber fights since Jedi Knight or KOTOR. And listen, I'm never going to get tired of Force Pushing guys off a cliff; it's just not going to happen. (a Purge Trooper gets Force Pushed off a cliffside as a fellow Scout Trooper watches)
Scout Trooper: Oh, no... Oh, no, no, no...!
So snap at your boy BD-1 and get ready to be one with the Force once again, in a franchise that might finally restore balance to the galaxy with an action-RPG that doesn't break the mold, but fills it pretty good. It even has the most important thing in a game about a Jedi: lightsaber customization (Cal activates his new double-bladed lightsaber), and it only costs you half the price of a Disneyland ticket (an article pops up detailing the custom lightsaber attraction at Galaxy's Edge, which costs $199.99 plus tax for each lightsaber).
Starring: Archie-Wan Kenobi (Cameron Monaghan as Cal Kestis); Wall-D (Ben Burtt as BD-1); Danny DeGoro (Daniel Roebuck as Greez Dritus); Mad TV's Debra Wilson (as Cere Junda); Rogue One Eye (Forest Whitaker as Saw Gerrera); Space Goth GF (Tina Ivlev as Nightsister Merrin); The World's Most Obvious Sith (Liam McIntyre as Taron Malicos); and Space Kronk and Yzma (Misty Lee as Ninth Sister and Elizabeth Grullon as Second Sister).
Starkiro: Jedis Die Twice
The honest title for Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order was 'Starkiro: Jedis Die Twice.'
You know, I'm glad you made you made a non-horrible game, EA, but maybe don't pat yourself on the back so much? It's kind of like being proud you own a Prius when you just got done driving it into the side of a Denny's.
Viewer Comments[]
If we were books?........would Norman reedus? - Zarya the Pokemon Trainer
Please say: "Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?" - Orhan Kemal
Say: "I am the Milkman, my milk is delicious." - Andrew Haase
Please say: "poopity scoopity let's throw the ball in the hoopity." - Brendan Lafferty
Please say: "Norman Reedus and his Amazing Fetus" - Peter James Villegas
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Honest Game Trailers - Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order has a 94.7% approval rating from YouTube viewers.
Production Credits[]
Written by Max Song, Andrew Bird, and Spencer Gilbert
Edited by Max Song