The Witcher 3 is the 52nd episode of the comedy web series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by David Moss, Mari Takahashi, Amra Ricketts, Spencer Gilbert & Max Song. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the action role-playing video game The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. It was published on June 23, 2015. The Witcher 3 was originally published on Smosh Games, but is currently available on Fandom Games. It has been viewed over 6 million times.

Watch Honest Game Trailers - The Witcher 3 on YouTube

"Get ready for the monster-hunter game Capcom wishes they made, as you take down griffins, trolls, and wraiths in epic, fun-to-play battles… after hours of tedious potion, oil, and spell preparation! That’s as fun as making lightsaber noises at a spreadsheet!" ~ Honest Game Trailers - The Witcher 3

Script Edit

From the studio who sounds like they picked three random words out of a hat [CD Projekt Red] comes a franchise based on the books you never read, a sequel to the game you never played, and a follow-up to the game you heard was really, really good and scrambled to finish before this one came out. Come on, you know you did!

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Journey to an overwhelmingly vast and Polish land where Gerald is Geralt, Jennifer is Yennefer, and the locals are covered in charming Eastern European prison tattoos. Become a Witcher, which is confusingly different from being a witch or witch-hunter but is basically just a fancy Orkin-Man. [Geralt: "A professional monster slayer in the world's largest city, looking for rat shit. Geez."] Thrill as you haggle with dirt poor villagers over how much it will cost to save them from unspeakable horrors. Then rob their crumbling shanties blind once they've paid up! Oooh! Goat hide! It's the second most dangerous profession in the kingdom -- right behind bouncer trying to keep you from entering a building. [Bouncer: "Cock a doodle do, what am I to do? Shit myself?" Geralt: "All right." (Geralt slaughters him)].

Take control of Geralt, a whirling dance of death while in combat and an impossible to control spaz when you trying to open a chest or pick some flowers. Use his finely tuned Witcher senses to locate stuff you could easily find with your normal senses. Like: bloodstains, dead bodies and shoes. Just check your mini-map, dude! Get ready for the Monster Hunter game Capcom wishes they made, as you take down griffins, trolls and wraiths in epic fun-to-play battles -- after hours of tedious potion, oil and spell preparation. That's as fun as making lightsaber noises at a spreadsheet! (Makes lightsaber noises)

Set out on an epic quest to safe Ciri, a princess who's always in another castle. Full of though moral choices that will result in innocent deaths no matter which option you pick. Like Game of Thrones if it werea Choose Your Own Adventure books. Then completely ignore the main quest as you take on more pressing matters like escorting a goat, snowball fights, and helping an old woman find her missing... pan. [Old Woman: "Found the pan, have ye?"]. Damn it! I'm a Witcher; not a panner! Stop wasting my time!

But it will all be worth it when you finally take on the Swedish death metal album art known as the Wild Hunt. In an ending so final in its endingness, gamers will unanimously agree that's totally how the game ends... Yeah... Uh... We haven't beaten it either. [Eskel: "Summon the bitches!"]

Role play as a man who is not just a freak -- but also a super freak! ["Super Freak" by Rick James] As the latest installment of this X-rated dating sim doesn't disappoint. Full of bewbs! Bewbs! BEWBS! And... dangly old water hag bewbs? Kill it! Kill it with Igni!

The developer heard you liked games so they put a game in your game so you could game while you game! With Gwent, a card game featuring images of characters from the game you're currently playing outside of that card game. Gameception. [Inception BWAAAA!!!]

So dive into a franchise whose biggest flaw is having to quit your job or drop out of school to experience it all. From the real-time beard growth to the beautifully rendered areolas, to the stunning vistas that will absolutely take your breath aw- [Geralt falls off a cliff] Oh no! I haven't saved in, like, four hours!

Starring: The Glitcher; Trisstan Dunst; Yennifer Love Hewitt; Robert Baratheon, Ciriously Where The F!@k Did You Go?!!; Sauron; and The View.

The Guy With Two Swords 3: Helen Hunt

Anyone else notice that Roach is pretty much a teleporting demon horse? Uuuughhh!!!!

 Reception Edit

Honest Game Trailers - The Witcher 3 has a 98.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Tatiana Morris of Game Zone called the Honest Game Trailer "so accurate that it almost hurts (from laughing)." Malaiko of Gaming Illuminaughty wrote "this video was still pretty hilarious and they managed to perfectly nitpick this game series, which shows even critically acclaimed games aren’t without their fair share of flaws."Caleb Reading of Uproxx wrote that the video "perfectly sum[s] up the game’s mechanics in just one sentence, while referencing lightsabers as an added bonus. Consider us dazzled." Steve Schnieder of Tech Times observed "The folks over at Smosh Games are fans of the game, there's no doubt about that — but they're not afraid to point out some of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt's weirder moments, either."

Production creditsEdit

Honest game trailer the witcher 3

Video thumbnail for Honest Game Trailers - The Witcher 3.

Executive Producers: Andy Signore and Smosh

Directed by Spencer Gilbert

Episode Written by:David Moss, Mari Takahashi, Amra Ricketts, Spencer Gilbert & Max Song

Edited by: Max Song

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External links Edit

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