After Earth is the 38th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2013 sci-fi film After Earth. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy, who becomes so dissatisfied with the film's quality that he leaves the recording booth without finishing his narration. It was published on October 8, 2013, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 3 minutes 4 seconds long. It has been viewed over 7.8 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - After Earth on YouTube
"Watch as Will Smith, one of the world's most charismatic actors, plays a man with no charisma." ~ Honest Trailers - After Earth
Script[]
From the director of...ah, oh God, not him again (M. Night Shyamalan)...comes Will Smith's biggest mistake since turning down The Matrix:
After Earth
Prepare for Shyamalan's signature slow pace and joyless tone, but now with ten times as much sci-fi mumbo jumbo.
Cypher Raige: I detected graviton vibrations in the hull.
Hesper Navigator: How?
Cypher Raige: Graviton buildup could be a precursor to mass expansion.
Hesper Pilot: Mass expansion is one in a million.
Cypher Raige: The pull of our own graviton weight could set the thing off.
Ugh. Oh, God. You guys really gonna make me do this one? Ughhh, okay.
Get ready for the story of a talented celebrity dad and his less-talented bratty kid, who takes on a challenge he's not ready for. Gee, wonder where they got that idea. (shows credit reading "Story by Will Smith") Watch as Will Smith, one of the world's most charismatic actors, plays a man with no charisma named Cypher Raige. Heh heh, very funny, guys. What's his real name? (shows clips of characters saying "Cypher Raige") You've got to be kidding me.
Watch as "Cypher Raige" and his son, Kitai Raige...?...dramatize what it's like to live in the Smith household.
Kitai Raige: I'm going to my room.
Cypher Raige: Are you asking me or telling me?
Kitai Raige: May I go to my room, sir?
Cypher Raige: Denied! Sit down!
But when father and son are forced to bond, disaster strikes as they crash on a terrifying version of after-Earth…
Computer: Warning: this planet has been declared unfit for human habitation.
…full of non-threats like monkeys, eagles, whales, bugs, snakes, foliage, and the cold.
Cypher Raige: Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans.
Has it, though? Because it kind of looks like before-Earth to me.
So take a knee (shows clips of Cypher saying "Take a knee") and watch a movie of Will Smith watching a movie of Jaden Smith…
Cypher Raige: I will be able to see everything that you see.
…in the most blatant example of Hollywood nepotism since the third generation of the Wayans brothers (shows trailer for "Dance Flick").
Kitai Raige: My suit's turned black. I like it, but I think it's something bad.
You like it, but you think it's something bad?
Kitai Raige: I like it, but I think it's something bad.
Did someone actually read this before they made it a movie?
You know what? I can't do this. This movie is too dumb on too many levels. I mean, why does everything on Earth freeze at night? Wouldn't that kill all the greenery, and the animals? And speaking of animals, why does that eagle adopt Jaden as one of its young, then commit eagle suicide to save him from the cold?! It hasn't figured out how to live in the cold over the last thousand years of being an eagle?! Seriously?! We traveled all across the galaxy to stay on Earth, and they didn't even make Earth cool?! WHERE ARE ALL THE BUILDINGS?! THE SURVIVORS?! ANYTHING?!?! GOD, THIS MOVIE IS SO STUPID!!!
(text appears reading "Starring Son of a Hitch (Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige), The Pursuit of Crappyness (Will Smith as Cypher Raige), and No One Else")
Look, I gotta get outta here. It's just not worth it! You guys don't have to pay me for this one. Just call me next week for Walking Dead.
(Jon Bailey is heard walking out of the recording booth and driving off)
The honest title for After Earth shows the SMPTE Universal film header.
(Shows SMPTE Universal film header)
Kitai Raige: That sucked.
Cypher Raige: That is correct.
Viewer’s Comment[]
Nerdy Intern Voice: Um… I-I don’t think he’s coming back. What should I do? Just read this?
Say, “What does the fox say? RINGDINGDINGDINGDINGERINGERING." - Carson Kitchens
Uh… I have to throw up.
Trivia[]
- Near the end of the trailer, Epic Voice Guy, dissatisfied with the film's quality, leaves the recording booth without finishing his narration. After the trailer has concluded, a voice similar to that of the Squeaky-Voiced Teen from The Simpsons awkwardly reads a single user comment in Epic Voice Guy's place. This is an example of meta humor.
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for several other M. Night Shyamalan films including The Last Airbender, The Happening, Unbreakable, Split and Glass. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other terrible films including The Room, Gotti, Captain America (1990), Catwoman, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Howard the Duck and many others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - After Earth has a 98.7% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Hollywood Reporter found the Honest Trailer notable for highlighting Will Smith's character's lack of charisma, his silly name and the film's nepotism. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer was "great" and "bashes the hell" out of the film. Flickering Myth also remarked that the Honest Trailer was particularly savage, writing "Screen Junkies manage to find great flaws in even very enjoyable movies, so imagine the vitriol they attack After Earth with." Uproxx added that After Earth gets the Honest Trailers treatment it "so richly deserves."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - After Earth
Directed by Andy Signore
Executive Producer Mitch Rotter
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore
Edited by Dan Murrell, Christopher Otwell and Andy Signore
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
External links[]
- 'After Earth' Parody Trailer Mocks Will Smith (Video) - The Hollywood Reporter article
- Honest Trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's AFTER EARTH - Geek Tyrant article
- After Earth: An Honest Trailer - Flickering Myth article
- Honest Trailer: After Earth - Uproxx article