Akira is the 548th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1988 Japanese animated cyberpunk action film Akira. It was published on June 18, 2024, to coincide with the release of The Bikeriders. It is 4 minutes and 43 seconds long. It has been viewed over 500,000 times.
Script[]
Anime. Once, it was a secret, guarded by the smelliest kid in class; now, it's just the word we use for "good cartoon". (plays clips from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hazbin Hotel, and Arcane) But back when Americans still called it "Japanimation", your choices were Kiki's Delivery Service, or... (shows Kaneda sliding his motorcycle into a stop)
Akira
Ripped from the pages of the legendary manga, comes a film that would get ripped off by the next two decades of culture... (shows characters using psychic powers in both Dark City and Stranger Things)
Aech (Ready Player One): That's Kaneda's bike from Akira.
(shows Em sliding her motorcycle like Kaneda in Nope)
...and reality. (a /Film article with the title "'Akira' Foresaw The 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics - And Its Empty Stadium" pops up) And even though it's a slam dunk for a live-action adaptation, Leo couldn't make it (a Collider article with the title "Leonardo DiCaprio First Picked Up The 'Akira' Film Rights" pops up); Taika when he still had the juice couldn't make it (a Collider article with the title "Not Even Taika Waititi Could Salvage the 'Akira' Remake" pops up); in fact, no one at Warner Bros. had the guts to make it...
Albert Hughes: They were scared to make it, and they were using the excuse of casting. But that's B.S.
...because if you say "animation" near David Zaslav, he buries you in the woods.
Journey to Neo-Tokyo, which is like Gotham City if Cyberpunk Joker had won; there, two biker bros fight to rule the streets: Kaneda (montage of Tetsuo yelling Kaneda's name) and Tetsuo. (montage of Kaneda yelling Tetsuo's name) Explore their relatable male friendship, built on trying to one-up and humiliate each other...
Kaneda: If someone's gonna kill him, it should be us!
...where Kaneda rubs in his sweet-a*s bike...
Kaneda: I customized that bike for myself. It's too wild. You couldn't handle it.
...Tetsuo rubs in his sweet telekinetic powers...
Tetsuo: So if you need any saving, just ask, Kanny.
...Kaneda rubs in his sweet new laser gun...
Kaneda: (after shooting Tetsuo right in the chest) Ha-ha! Gotcha!
...so Tetsuo rubs in the sweet pocket dimension he formed where he gets to be a god.
Kaneda: (cradling the universe that Tetsuo just created) Tetsuo...
At least I think that's what happened...? The third act escalates quickly. (shows Kaneda staring in horror as Tetsuo mutates beyond recognition)
Experience their bike-curious dynamic against the backdrop of civil unrest, where every institution is rotting at the core, until Colonel Shikishima has the courage to cut through the B.S....
Shikishima: Open your eyes and look at the big picture! You're all puppets of corrupt politicians and capitalists!
...with a foolproof plan to abduct children, give them early-onset nutsack face, and grow their psychic powers into a weapon with the same destructive force as the last time this exact same plan blew up in their faces. Huh, we can't go one week without Japanese sci-fi metaphors for nuclear war featuring a guy named Shikishima...
Experience the pinnacle of craft in all aspects of filmmaking -- They literally don't make them like this anymore.
Documentary Narrator: Each of these dots represents a lighted office window at night. Even the commercials appearing on the TV monitors were precisely drawn. What a job.
-- from the voice acting, even in the dub --
Kei: And what if everyone shares those ancient memories?
Sound familiar?
Faye Valentine (Cowboy Bebop): You know what they say, cowboy: easy come, easy go.
-- a crazy original score (plays a snippet of music from the film, composed by Shōji Yamashiro), and art that's so mind-bogglingly good, you'll emotionally connect with a giant tumor ball trying to Katamari Damacy an entire stadium. (shows Kai vomiting up blood, only to get decked in the head in response)
So before you take your girlfriend to see Austin Butler ride a hog (The Bikeriders), consider yourself lucky you can also watch this high-octane masterpiece, in an insane group effort that was lots of people's first contact with anime, that probably turned off the normies, and sent everyone else down a path that ends with arguing over power creep in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. (shows Dio forcibly kissing Erina)
Starring: Blame Kaneda! Blame Kaneda! (Mitsuo Iwata/Johnny Yong Bosch as Shōtarō Kaneda); Forehead Loko (Nozomu Sasaki/Joshua Seth as Tetsuo Shima); Larry King? (shows a committee member wearing square glasses and smoking a cigarette); Oh Kei, Are You OK? (Mami Koyama/Wendee Lee as Kei); Principal Skin-Fade (Tarō Ishida/Jamieson Price as Colonel Shikishima); Bluey! (The Espers [Kazuhiro Shindō/Travis Weaver as Masaru, Fukue Itō/Sandy Fox as Kiyoko, and Tatsuhiko Nakamura/Cody MacKenzie as Takashi]); Guys When You Tell Them to Go to the Doctor...
Tetsuo: (covering his mechanical arm obviously beginning to mutate) It's nothing!
...and Walt Disney.
Tetsuo: (looking at some damaged cryogenic pods) What the hell is this?
Every Frame a Painting
The honest title for Akira was ‘Every Frame a Painting’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
The question of what you'd do with godlike power is an easy one for most men: cool metal arm! A cool metal arm fixes everything! (shows Guts from Berserk, Jet Black from Cowboy Bebop, Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Vash the Stampede from Trigun)
Viewer's Comments[]
In honor of SpongeBob's 25th anniversary, please say: "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I DO!" - CodyFairlessLee
Please say: If Chuck Norris joined the A-Team, he would have four side-kicks. - robbiegreve652
If you want to say, "The man you are watching in that show sounds like Batman," my four year old just said that. That's a massive compliment in his world. - 2014wolfy
Say: "I'm not wearing hockey pads!" - klownbeans
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Manager: Emin Bassavand
Content Manager: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Post-Production Specialist: Rebecca Castaneda
VP Content: Max Dionne