Arrival is the 534th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2016 science fiction drama film Arrival. It was published on February 27, 2024, to coincide with the release of director Denis Villeneuve's latest film at the time of posting, Dune: Part Two. It is 4 minutes and 56 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script[]
Before he was the patron saint of first-year film students, and dudes who microdose at their jobs, Denis Villeneuve made another sci-fi film with a mind-bending premise: "What if an American had to learn a second language?" N-Nos... Nosotros... N-Nosotros estamos... ten-- Argh! Forget it; we're dead.
Arrival
In a world very much like our own, except that Jeremy Renner is Oppenheimer...
Colonel Weber: (through the radio) Ian is a theoretical physicist from Los Alamos.
...twelve spacecraft arrive and just... kind of hang out, so... panic!
News Anchor 1: --financial markets across the world are in crisis...
News Anchor 2: --the Saint Lawrence Pentecostal Cult [s]et their compound ablaze.
But when them aliens start speaking in the only language moviegoers understand -- CGI gooooooo -- the government recruits Amy Adams as our best hope for bonding with an alien lifeform, because... you know (shows Lois Lane kissing Clark Kent in a bathtub in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice), and having Hawkeye on your team will only get you so far.
Donnelly: So, what are we gonna call them? / I was thinking Abbott and Costello.
Aww, that's cute; we'll let you know if they want someone to pimp their ride (shows images from Rennervations) or teach them how to rock.
Jeremy Renner ("Heaven Don't Have a Name"): (singing) --she tastes like lipstick and Tanqueray.
Now, that's a universal language.
Meet Professor Louise Banks, top of the Duolingo leaderboard...
Colonel Weber: You are on the top of everyone's list when it comes to translations.
...with a mean case of "resting overwhelmed face". (montage of Banks stressing out) Her greatest challenge will come in the form of the heptapods, giant Salad Fingers who hotbox the back of their spaceship (shows Banks breathing in smoke), as she must forge a relationship with these wrinkled afro picks, who only speak in coffee mug stains; they may not look friendly...
Banks: I'm human. What are you?
...but their intention is to unify all of humanity, with the gift of... forcing you to see the worst parts of your life ahead of time, because free will is an illusion?
8-Year-Old Hannah: Are you gonna leave me like Daddy did?
Oh, uh... How do I squirt the goo word for "pass"?
Forest Whitaker co-stars as a no-nonsense colonel, from what sounds like the Australian part of 1930s Brooklyn.
Colonel Weber: The captain will load you up. You're lifting off in five minutes. / The voice you're about to hear belongs to a Chinese military chief... / Let's get started.
Watch this veteran of 1995's Species go from horniest to least horny alien movie of all time -- Hear me out. Ahem... -- as he tries to keep a lid on the skittish ninnies of the U.S. military...
Colonel Weber: Everything you do in there, I have to explain to a room full of men whose first and last question is, "How can this be used against us?"
...in a film with a message more on-the-nose than the tubes they use on Arrakis...
Colonel Weber: You made quick work of those, uh, insurgent videos.
Banks: You made quick work of those insurgents.
Colonel Weber: ... ... ...
...because if you didn't like swimming in the moral gray of Villeneuve's Prisoners or Sicario, take a steam bath in the gentle, easy righteousness of "talking good, war bad".
Banks: --please don't bother with that channel. How many times do I have to tell you? Those people are idiots.
Fox News. They mean Fox News.
So take a quick bump of the spice melange, and strap in for a very serious sci-fi, with maybe, like, three jokes, and this is one of them...
Donnelly: (after dropping his glow stick) Yeah, that just happened.
...but is still a fascinating, beautifully crafted film, that will forever change how you approach time, love, and giving hot girls you just met your number.
General Shang: I do not claim to know how your mind works, but... I believe it was important for you to see that.
Wait, that works?! They have so much to teach us...!
Starring: Hillbilly ESP (Amy Adams as Louise Banks); The Time Traveler's Husband (Jeremy Renner as Ian Donnelly); Only You Can Prevent Forest Firing Missiles (Forest Whitaker as Colonel G. T. Weber); Call Home by Your Name (Michael Stuhlbarg as Agent Halpern); Not a 1st Tzi Ma (as General Shang); and Monsters, Ink (Abbott and Costello).
Words with Friends
The honest title for Arrival was ‘Words with Friends’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
If you like this movie, you should read more stuff by Ted Chiang. (shows the covers to the Ted Chiang books Stories of Your Life and Others, The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate, Tower of Babylon, and Exhalation) Let's make unfilmable sci-fi the hot new IP!
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say go go honest trailers - LovelyRugby-qj9jx
Please say "I don't think we have enough hot dogs." - benabramowitz18
please say "To me my X-Men!!!" in your awesome voice x - graememacleod3311
Please say "Now the one man who made a difference five times before, is about to make a difference again. Only this time, it's different." - wesleyoldham4222
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Manager: Emin Bassavand
Content Manager: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Post-Production Specialist: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne