Batman Begins is the 187th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore. It parodies Christopher Nolan's 2005 superhero film Batman Begins. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on February 14, 2017, to coincide with the theatrical release of The Lego Batman Movie. It is 5 minutes 48 seconds long. It has been viewed over 3.8 million times.
"There's also Batman, who, if you think about it, is a violent criminal who answers to no one, waging a one-man war on the law itself." ~ Honest Trailers - Batman Begins
Script[edit | edit source]
See one of the best, yet oddly not that successful Batman films that was so good, it allowed Christopher Nolan to do whatever he wanted afterwards...except distance himself from the franchise (shows headlines from articles speculating about Christopher Nolan directing The Batman), in this perfectly told superhero origin story -- back when we weren't sick of superhero origin stories -- that realistically explains how a boy became a crime-fighting bat ninja instead of a trust fund kid with a deep-seated fear of wells (shows young Bruce Wayne falling down a well). I mean, had to be even odds he'd become "Wellman", right?
Experience a feature-length attempt to ground Batman in reality, where the Batmobile was just a bridge-building rocket car WayneTech had laying around, the Batcave was simply part of New York's Underground Railroad...? (Alfred Pennyworth: Your great-great-grandfather was involved in the Underground Railroad.)...and the Bat Shoes that summon a giant cloud of angry bats are...um...total BS, but who cares? How cool is this? (shows Batman dropping into a room amidst a cloud of swarming bats)
Follow along on every step of Bruce Wayne's heroic journey, from cosplaying as a hobo to stealing food to blowing up a school; and witness his brutal training at the hands of the Liam of Neesons...I mean, the League of Shadows, a group with a sinister plan to stop crime by using a microwave gun to vaporize their special fear juice to kick off the Purge. Wait, what? I thought this was supposed to be the realistic one. That sounds like something Adam West would go up against. (shows Egghead from the 1960s Batman TV series throwing an egg grenade that releases laughing gas)
Batman (through fits of laughter): It's a sad pill...to neutralize the laughing gas.
But the League of Shadows aren't the only criminals plaguing Gotham. There's also...Batman, who, if you think about it, is a violent criminal who answers to no one, waging a one-man war on the law itself.
(shows Bruce Wayne throwing a hot branding iron into a pile of sacks, which is set ablaze; text appears reading "Arson!")
James Gordon (being held at gunpoint by Bruce Wayne): What do you want? (text appears reading "Breaking & Entering!")
(shows Bruce Wayne listening in on a phone conversation; text appears reading "Illegal Wiretapping!")
Batman (holding a criminal up to his face): I'm Batman. (text appears reading "Vigilantism!!")
(shows a man being dropped from a building; text appears reading "Terroristic Threatening!")
(shows the Batmobile driving across a rooftop and ripping up the shingles; text appears reading "Property Damage!")
(shows several wooden beams falling on the decoy Ra's al Ghul; text appears reading "Third-Degree Murder!")
(shows the Batmobile dropping spiked bombs, which explode, sending a police car flying; text appears reading "Attempted Murder!")
Batman (holding down a criminal in a falling train): I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you. (he flies out of the train; text appears reading "Manslaughter!")
Sorry, still counts as murder if you make a train do it.
Joining this loner on his one-man quest for justice are a lot of other people, like Alfred, a butler so loyal, he'll drag Batman's sedated girlfriend into the back of a car, no questions asked; Lucius Fox, a man who might be helping Bruce to be a better serial killer, for all he knows; Jim Gordon, a cop with the morals, glasses, and mustache of Ned Flanders; Rachel Dawes, a childhood friend with a mysterious past of drinking condensed milk...? (Bruce Wayne: Alfred still keeps the condensed milk on the top shelf.)...and...s, holy sh*t, is that King Joffrey?! (shows Jack Gleeson as a young boy) That is him! Why are you giving him military hardware (shows Batman throwing the boy a pistol)? Take him out before it's too late!
So strap in with the movie that saved Batman from puns and irrelevance with the right mix of gritty realism and comic book theatricality, that's a perfectly focused, character-driven story, except for the whole third act (Batman: If they get their machine into Wayne Station, it'll cause a chain reaction that'll vaporize the entire city's water supply.) and the fact that half the dialogue is cutesy repetitions of things someone said earlier. (shows clips of multiple characters speaking similar dialogue at different points in the film) Shut up!
Arnold Flass: Shut up!
Auuuuugh! No wonder this movie's so good; they only had to write half a script.
Starring Derelicte (Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman); Gotham Abbey (Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth); Ra's Actually (Liam Neeson as Henri Ducard/Ra's al Ghul); Rachel Dawson's Creek (Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes); Sirius Blue (Gary Oldman as James Gordon); If I Only Played Bruce Wayne (Cillian Murphy as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow); Ken Wantanotbe Wasted in This Movie, But He Is (Ken Watanabe as Decoy Ra's al Ghul); and What Does the Fox Say? (Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox).
How Bruce Wayne Got His Groove Back
Henri Ducard: The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years. We sacked Rome, loaded trade ships with plague rats, burned London to the ground...
(imitating Liam Neeson)...cancelled Firefly, made Crash win Best Picture, discovered Justin Bieber, made Harambe a meme.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Honest Trailers have been produced for virtually every other Batman movie, including The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Batman (1989), Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Batman: The Animated Series, The Killing Joke, Suicide Squad, Batman v Superman, Justice League and even Batman (1966). See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[edit | edit source]
Honest Trailers - Batman Begins has an 97.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media sites agreed with Screen Junkies' take on the film. Screen Rant appreciated that the Honest Trailer acknowledged how good a film Batman Begins is, but also noted the Screen Junkies provided some "humorous barbs, including highlighting the multiple criminal acts that Batman commits in the supposed name of justice, such as attempted murder, arson, and manslaughter. As the narrator points out, it's still murder if you have a train do it." Slash Film made similar remarks, writing that the film is good "but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some jokes to be had at the movie’s expense, especially when it comes to how outlandish the third act really is." Geek Tyrant wrote that the Honest Trailer "pays homage" to the film it parodies. The Playlist concurred with Screen Junkies' take, writing "as they rightly declare, this is one movie that got The Dark Knight just right."
Production credits[edit | edit source]
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Executive Producer - Andy Signore
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
[edit | edit source]
- Batman Begins Honest Trailer: Batman is Really a Criminal - Screen Rant article
- 'Batman Begins' Finally Gets an Honest Trailer - The Hollywood Reporter article
- ‘Batman Begins’ Honest Trailer: The Movie That Saved Batman from Puns and Irrelevance - Slash Film article
- Honest Trailers skewers Batman Begins for Dark Knight’s many crimes - EW article
- HONEST TRAILER: Batman Begins - Screen Geek article
- Watch: Honest Trailer for Christopher Nolan's BATMAN BEGINS - Geek Tyrant article
- Christopher Nolan Gets The Dark Knight Just Right In Honest Trailer For ‘Batman Begins’ - The Playlist article