Beauty and the Beast (1991) is the 190th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies Disney's 1991 animated musical Beauty and the Beast in the format of a musical episode. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on March 14, 2017, to coincide with the theatrical release of the live-action reboot Beauty and the Beast (2017). It is 5 minutes 48 seconds long. It has been viewed over 4.4 million times. In keeping with other trailers based on Disney films, the trailer features parodies of songs from the film with music by Matt Citron.
"Looks down her nose at us like we're no better, acting like her merde doesn't smell. Never does an ounce of work, but treats us like we're jerks; no denying she's the first millennial." ~ Honest Trailer - Beauty and the Beast (1991)
It's a tale as old as time, a song as old as rhyme: an enchantress turning an eleven-year-old into a feral monster who, ten years later, traps a girl in a castle until she loves him. You know, that old chestnut. Beauty and the Beast.
Welcome to this poor, provincial French village where everyone has an American accent; and meet Belle, daughter of the local killing machine inventor (shows Maurice's wood-chopping machine rolling toward his locked cellar door). Belle longs for adventure, and she'll get just that when she's kidnapped by the Beast, a prince who's so bad at his job, he's been missing for ten years and no one seems to notice. Watch romance bloom between her and Prince...him -- they never do say his name, do they? -- in this fairy tale that teaches every kid it's what's on the inside that counts, but it doesn't hurt to be so rich, you own a castle with its own library and some magic slaves.
Cheer as this strong, smart, independent woman rejects this violent, controlling, bad-mannered, hairy dude who imprisons her dad (Gaston) for this violent, controlling, bad-mannered, hairy dude who imprisons her dad (Beast). Wait, why does he lock up her dad? The dude clearly wants to be left alone. Couldn't he just, y'know, let him leave and get eaten by wolves or something? That seems a lot easier than feeding an old man for decades.
But Belle isn't alone; she's trapped with dozens of living objects that raise dozens of uncomfortable questions, like did everything that moves used to be a person? Like, are all those plates people (shows several plates dancing)? And what happened to all the actual stuff? Did it merge with the servants? Will they go to trial for murdering all those villagers? That bureau straight-up crushes that guy (shows the Wardrobe leaping on top of a villager). If the Beast earned the curse, why did all his servants get deformed, too? Man, this movie is messed up!
So be Disney's guest at this tale as old as Stockholm syndrome, which was the first animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture, but lost to a movie with a very similar plot (The Silence of the Lambs) and managed to distract us from its messed-up story with some of Disney's most beloved songs, like "The I'm Too Good for This Place Song"...
(sung to the tune of "Belle")
Belle: There goes the baker; oh my god, I hate him./Doesn't he know I'm gluten free?/Everyone here is so lame;/Oh my god, I can't even/Believe this stupid town!
Baker: Hey, cram it, Belle.
Belle: Good morning, peasant.
Baker: Where are you off to?
Belle: The bookshop; I just finished the most wonderful story, but you probably don't know how to read --
Baker: Sweet Christ, YOU READ? No one cares. Shut up!
Villagers: Looks down her nose at us like we're no better,/Acting like her merde doesn't smell./Never does an ounce of work,/But treats us like we're jerks;/No denying she's the first millennial.
..."The Sacking Yourself Up Song"...
(sung to the tune of "Something There")
Belle: I guess he's rich/And sometimes kind,/But he looks like a woolly mammoth's shaved behind./I do love dogs,/But I'm not sure/That a dog-man is someone I think I could pork.
..."The It Sucks to Work Here Song"...
(sung to the tune of "Be Our Guest")
Lumière: Go ahead,/Stuff your face;/We are both stuck in this place./We got here with no idea/We'd turn into an IKEA./There's no breaks,/There's no pay,/And we're trapped in here all day./Just because my boss was a dick,/I become a French candlestick./None of us/Deserved it;/Our poor friend, the toilet,/That guy used to be a restaurant maitre d'./Now for the ten years passed,/He only sees Beast's ass./I must confess,/We are oppressed,/Get snapped in half if we protest./We're so stressed/And depressed;/Let us rest!
...and "The Toxic Relationship Song".
(sung to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast")
Mrs. Potts: Cut her off from friends/And her family,/Throw her in a cage,/Fly into a rage/Unpredictably./She can't get away,/She can't be released./She's in constant fear/'Cause she's trapped in there;/Please call the police.
Starring Le Crossfit Bro (Richard White as Gaston); I Pity Le Fou! (Jesse Corti as Le Fou); Furry Guy in a Little Coat (Robby Benson as Beast); Must Love Dogs (Paige O'Hara as Belle); This French Guy's on Fire! (Jerry Orbach as Lumière); It's Always 4:35 Somewhere (David Ogden Stiers as Cogsworth); Tea, She Poured (Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts); and This Young Boy in an Old Man's Mouth (Bradley Pierce as Chip).
(shows Maurice drinking tea from Chip)
Chip: His mustache tickles, Mama!
Saved by the Belle
Chip (in human form): Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?
(Maurice chuckles, as does the narrator) You have twenty brothers and sisters (shows a cupboard full of teacups with faces), so...yeah, you probably do.
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for several other musicals including Mary Poppins, Frozen, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Moana, The Lion King, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Les Miserables, La La Land, and The Greatest Showman. They also included parody songs in the Honest Trailers for The LEGO Movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, Toy Story and Honest Retro TV Themes!
- Screen Junkies also produced an Honest Trailer for the 2017 live-action reboot of Beauty and the Beast. The writers considered simply re-using the exact script from this Honest Trailer to underscore the point that Disney had effectively replicated their own film, but ultimately decided to write a new script.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Honest Trailers - Beauty and the Beast (1991) has a 96.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Cosmopolitan described the Honest Trailer as "eye-opening" and agreed with Screen Junkies that "the Beast in Beauty in the Beast is basically as much of a dick to Belle as Gaston, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is either delusional." In the same article, Cosmo said the Honest Trailer "will probably lead you to question everything you thought you knew about the story," and said the parody songs were "great." Screen Rant commended the Honest Trailer's "humorous juxtaposition suggesting the Beast and Gaston aren't all that different" and highlighted Screen Junkies' reference to Stockholm Syndrome. Geek Girl Authority noted that "Honest Trailers can be hit or miss. This is a pretty good hit. They nail the thing that’s always bothered me about this story, which is that it’s really a story of oppression and hostage-taking." The site said the Honest Trailer was "fun stuff" and particularly praised the parody songs and 'starring' section.
Production credits Edit
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Executive Producer - Andy Signore
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
Music composed by Matt Citron
Vocals by Matt Citron, Jaime Lyn Beatty and Allie Schulz
- The Original ‘Beauty And The Beast’ Gets A Brutally Honest Trailer - Uproxx article
- The Honest Trailer for Beauty and the Beast is pretty eye-opening - Cosmopolitan article
- Watch Honest Trailers BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - Geek Girl Authority article
- Beauty and the Beast honest trailer raises some uncomfortable questions - EW article
- Time has not been kind to Beauty And The Beast’s weird central romance - AV Club article
- 'Beauty and the Beast' Honest Trailer Tells "a Tale as Old as Stockholm Syndrome" - The Hollywood Reporter article
- Beauty & the Beast Honest Trailer: Belle is the First Millennial - Screen Rant article
- Honest Trailers Presents Disney’s ‘Beauty and The Beast’ (1991) - Geeks of Doom article