Honest Trailers - Braveheart is the 296th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1995 epic war film Braveheart. The video is 4 minutes 47 seconds long. It was published on May 21, 2019, to coincide with the 24th anniversary of the film's theatrical release. This video was produced as part of Screen Junkies' Blockbuster Summer season, in which they turned their attention to blockbusters both old and new. The video has been viewed over 1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Braveheart on YouTube
"Journey to medieval Scotland, a place where the men are loud, the women are silent, and everyone's hair is grody." ~ Honest Trailers - Braveheart
Script[]
This summer, we're getting honest about summer blockbusters past and present. This is Honest Trailers: Blockbuster Summer.
Mel lost his wife and got mad. (Mad Max) Then, he lost his wife and got lethal. (Lethal Weapon) Now, he'll lose his wife and get brave in...
Braveheart
Journey to medieval Scotland, a place where the men are loud, the women are silent, and everyone's hair is grody (shows characters with unruly facial hair); when their land is taken by history's snootiest conquerors...
Longshanks: Scottish rebels have... routed one of my garrisons...
...William Wallace will get some... payback. (shows the poster for Payback (1999) as Wallace decapitates an English soldier) But there's no defense against this true Scotsman; he'll yell you into a frenzy (shows Wallace screaming in rage), he'll stare you into his bed...
Murron: It's just... I saw you staring at me, and I didn't know who you were.
Isabelle: Because of the way you are looking at me now.
...and he... (shows Wallace tossing a boulder) will... (shows a young Wallace striking a pile of rocks with another rock) rock you. (montage of Wallace tossing rocks at characters)
Strap in for a tale all about taking back liberty, that takes every liberty with the true story, because if it were accurate, there'd be no kilts, bagpipes, or face paint; no wife, princess, or plot-centric cuckoldry...
Lord Bottoms: --I will bless this marriage by taking the bride into my bed...
...and Wallace's big speech before a battle was actually, "Behold I have brought you into a ring, now carol and dance as well as you can."? Huh... But you're not here to learn; you're here for all the hot, sweaty action. (montage of intense violence) Whether it's man-on-man (shows Wallace throwing a sword into an English soldier's chest), man-on-horse (shows Wallace's men driving spears into the English cavalry), or arrow-in-butt (shows one of Wallace's men taking an arrow in the bare buttocks), Braveheart's got more violence than you can shake a field full of dicks at. (shows Wallace's men flashing their penises at the English, followed by an intense battle scene) Whoo! That's what I'm talking about!
Do you like torture? ...You do? Well, thank you for being honest, weirdo. Now, strap yourself in, because Mel is adding to his bizarrely long résumé of pain (shows characters played by Mel Gibson getting tortured in Lethal Weapon, Payback (1999), Maverick, and Conspiracy Theory), in an endless torture finale that makes it clear what drew him to this story.
Royal Magistrate: Rack him!
Hey, you know what they say: "Follow your 'passion'!" (shows the poster for The Passion of the Christ) Huh? Huuuh?
So gear up for your dad's 300, that's the kind of Hollywood epic they don't really make anymore, where the armies are real, the Scotsmen are Australian, and you forgive all of its many flaws because it gets you pumped every single time. (montage of large-scale battle scenes)
Wallace: --they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!
Crowd: (cheers)
WHOO! U.S.A.! U.S.A-- Uh... S--SCO-OT-LAND! SCO-OT-LAND!
Starring: Kiltmonger (Mel Gibson as William Wallace); King Bad Guy (Patrick McGoohan as Longshanks); There's Something About Murron (Catherine McCormack as Murron MacClannough); Have Fun Storming the Castle! (Ian Bannen as Robert the Bruce's father); Prince Adam (Peter Hanly as Prince Edward); Le Padme (Sophie Marceau as Isabelle); Tormund Mediumsbane (Brendan Gleeson as Hamish); When the Drugs Hit (Angus McFadyen as Robert the Bruce) (montage of Robert staring wide-eyed as the visuals turn chaotic and dubstep music plays); I Used to Be an Adventurer Like You, Until I Took an Arrow to the Chest... and An Axe to the Hand... and Another Axe to the Gut (James Cosmo as Campbell); and... Game of Thrones? (montage comparing scenes from the film to Game of Thrones)
The honest title for Braveheart was 'White Clansman'. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Sure, Mel was almost 40 playing a guy in his early twenties, but to be fair, people aged hard back then. I mean, look at this guy (Campbell); he's 35! (shows Campbell screaming and punching Madbaker in the face)
Trivia[]
Honest Trailers Commentary - Braveheart
- In the associated episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers stated that being able to tackle older movies for Blockbuster Summer made them feel "renewed."
- In a deleted starring joke, Brendan Gleeson was referred to as "In Brogues," a reference to his appearance in the 2008 crime film In Bruges.
- Another deleted joke played up the potentially homo-erotic subtext of the film. However, the writers felt the joke felt forced and not honest enough, unlike several other Honest Trailers where they have made the same joke, e.g. 300 and Top Gun.
- All the writers appreciated the film's battle scenes because they really do feature thousands of extras in period costume, unlike modern movies which rely on CGI.
- Screen Junkies have also made Honest Trailers for several other historical action movies including Gladiator, Robin Hood (2018), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Pirates of the Caribbean, 300, The Mummy (1999) and many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Braveheart has a 97.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer was "pretty hilarious." The site wrote "Yeah, Braveheart is one of my favorite films ever, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy laughing at certain aspects of it that are pointed out in this video. As the video points out, you forgive all of the movies flaws because “it gets you pumped every single time."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Braveheart.
Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey
Title Design by Robert Holtby
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne
Edited by Kevin Williamsen
External links []
- An Honest Trailer for Braveheart - Neatorama article
- ‘Braveheart’ Honest Trailer: This Is Totally Your Dad’s ‘300’ - SlashFilm article
- Honest Trailers Hilariously Takes on Mel Gibson's BRAVEHEART - Geek Tyrant article