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Bright is the 236th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2017 American urban fantasy crime film Bright. It was published on March 13, 2018. It is 4 minutes 7 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.7 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Bright on YouTube

"Orcs are black people and one of 'em is a cop." ~ Honest Trailers - Bright

Script Edit

From the director of Suicide Squad, the writer of Victor Frankenstein, and Trigger Warning Entertainment comes an allegory about race relations from the director of Suicide Squad, the writer of Victor Frankenstein, and Trigger Warning Entertainment. (Daryl Ward: "Fairy lives don't matter today.") This is gonna be a bumpy ride, huh?

Bright

Log into Netflix, your first choice for prestige television and last choice for movies, to see a film that would've crushed at the box office if buying a ticket were the same as something autoplaying after you pass out during Mindhunter. Don't lie, Netflix. I woke up to an Adam Sandler movie once (The Ridiculous 6). Those views don't count.

See Will Smith like you've never seen him before, not as the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from Bad Boys, or the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from Men in Black, or the wild card cop with a by-the-book partner from I, Robot, or a wild card soldier with a by-the-book partner in Independence Day, or a wild card ex-soldier with a by-the-book partner in Wild Wild West, or a wild card mercenary with a by-the-book partner in Suicide Squad, but a wild card cop with a by-the-book partner... who's... an... orc! Whoa!

Explore a movie that's more than a cop drama, it's a... *laughs* complicated social metaphor that... *clears throat* explores what it means to be human (Daryl Ward: "We gonna titty-bar-gunfight-die."). *wheeze* Sorry, couldn't keep it in there. Blending tired fantasy tropes with tired buddy cop tropes to explore a world of racial allegories, where orcs are stand-ins for the historical mistreatment of black people, and... that's pretty much it. Orcs are black people and one of 'em is a cop. (Daryl Ward: "I need to know if you're a cop first, or an orc first."). If the movie has anything else to say, I guess it's that Mexicans are scary? [Montage of Orcs firing guns around] Yeah, this ain't Get Out.

You've never seen a premise this interesting get so squandered, where all of the creative possibilities of a fantasy world being part of our own for 2,000 years everything turned out EXACTLY the same. No seriously, our history is the same (Rodriguez: "Mexicans still get s*** for the f***in' Alamo"), our businesses are the same (Daryl Ward: "We're in a stolen Toyota Corolla."), even our pop culture didn't change! (Daryl Ward: "Take your fat Shrek lookin' ass back to Fiona!") But how does Shrek still exist? Is it a documentary? There's dragons flying around but our buildings never changed? What's this centaur cop doing?! They never even mention that! You can't just add the word 'magic' and claim it's any different from a normal cop movie!

Rodriguez: "Magic Task Force."

Kandomere: "Right, the magic feds!"

ARGHHHH!!!!!

So gear up for the film that got burned by critics for either being too woke, or not woke enough, but wasted the cool premise of a modern day fantasy world; none of which will matter to Netflix, because with an infinite amount of money, you can greenlight an infinite amount of stupid ideas to keep an infinite number of people from ever going to a theater again. Welp, we had a good run, movies; now to never leave the house!

Starring: [Will Smith as Daryl Ward] Will Smithindor; [Joel Edgerton as Nick Jakoby] Orc Cop; [Noomi Rapace as Leilah] The Filth Element; and [Lucy Fry as Tikka] Orlando Doom.

And also starring... the following Bright sequels we'd write for significant less than three million dollars:

[Bright 2] Two reporters track down a story but one of them is a Balrog, which means she's Filipino!

[Bright 3] A mild mannered vampire inherits a coffee shop, but there's a twist: Vampires are Guatemalan!

[Bright 4] And uh, a frost giant... but he's a Jew. Now that one, that could be my Star Wars.

Honest Trailers - BrightOpen Invideo 3-34 screenshot

Honest title for Bright - Edgelord of the Rings. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Edgelord of the Rings

[Daryl hits fairy with a broom as neighbors cheer] Aw, she's alright, she's ok! C'mon, everyone clap, if you believe! [Daryl beats fairy on the ground] Oh no, she's dead.

Trivia Edit

Honest Trailers Commentary - Bright

Honest Trailers Commentary - Bright

Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Bright has a 96.3% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media sites commented on how negative Screen Junkies was towards Bright. Geek Tyrant wrote "They absolutely tear this movie apart in every way that they can. They don't pull any punches and It's pretty damn funny." ScreenRant noted that this Honest Trailer was particularly harsh: "All Honest Trailers are of course brutal, but this one seems particularly savage. In addition to blasting Bright for tone-deaf racial allegory, the trailer takes aim at Netflix and their recent history of bad feature film offerings." In the same article, ScreenRant also concurred with Screen Junkies that the biggest issue with Bright was "its lack of imaginative world building." CinemaBlend said this Honest Trailer "pulls no punches from the start" but that "it's always fun to watch Honest Trailers pick apart a film in a humorous manner." CinemaBlend wrote "one of the best parts about this Honest Trailer is how the narrator mentions that Netflix is your first choice for TV shows and last choice for movies." CinemaBlend also praised the Honest Trailer for trailer highlighting "the ham-fisted way in which Bright attempts to tackle real world social issues while also trying to tell a fantasy story, and it falls short in both regards."

Production credits Edit

Honest trailer bright

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Bright

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Max Dionne

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links Edit

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