Catwoman is the 201st episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2004 superhero film Catwoman. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on May 30, 2017, to coincide with the theatrical release of Wonder Woman. It is 4 minutes 41 seconds long. It has been viewed over 3.5 million times.
"Revisit the worst in this sloppily directed, insanely edited, terribly written, ridiculously acted pile of cat barf." ~ Honest Trailers - Catwoman
From Pitof...just Pitof?...comes a solemn reminder that no matter what happens with the new Wonder Woman, the bar for female-led superhero movies is really, really low:
Before you see the best DC has to offer (Wonder Woman), revisit the worst in this sloppily directed, insanely edited (shows a fight scene with 37 camera cuts), terribly written, ridiculously acted pile of cat barf that came out just one year before Batman Begins, but feels more like the spiritual sequel to Batman & Robin.
Meet Selina Kyle...heh heh, just kidding; this movie has nothing to do with the source material. Meet some random lady named Patience Phillips, a graphic designer with two of film's horniest coworkers (Sally and Lance). She's supposed to be a frumpy nerd, but since Halle Berry is the exact opposite of that, they'll just bury her in plus size clothes and make her super clumsy. Everything will change when a cat French kisses her dead body on a pile of garbage. Patience will become Catwoman, a woman with the literal powers of a cat, like hissing, getting off to catnip, and eating disgusting amounts of tuna. But instead of, oh, I dunno, seeing a doctor about any of this, she'll just Google the phrase "cats.women" and give herself a haircut.
Watch a film that takes a step forward in representing a female superhero take eight steps back by having her do battle against moisturizer (Beau-line)...eeeeevil moisturizer, as cosmetics exec Sharon Stone gets to vent some of her personal frustrations with Hollywood (Laurel Hedare: I was everything they wanted me to be, and then I turned 40 and they threw me away.) while releasing a product that's a class-action lawsuit waiting to happen (Laurel Hedare: You stop using it, and your face disintegrates!). You know, I'm pretty sure that product gets recalled without Catwoman doing anything. She could literally sit her own movie out, and nothing would change.
Revisit an era where superheroes hit their low points, full of iconically crappy moments like the playground scene (shows Matt Murdock and Elektra fighting on a playground in Daredevil), the emo dance (shows Peter Parker dancing in Spider-Man 3), and the Bat-Credit Card (Batman & Robin); but not to be outdone, Catwoman makes its contribution to garbage culture in the weirdest game of basketball ever filmed. (shows Tom Lone dribbling a basketball while standing back-to-back with Patience Phillips) Why do they just stand there dribbling for each other? That's not how basketball works. (shows Patience Phillips dribbling a basketball while shaking her butt) Stop shaking your ass at him; kids are watching. (shows Tom Lone fanning himself with his shirt) Ughhh. (shows Patience Phillips leaping over Tom Lone and slam-dunking a basketball) Whyyyyyyy?!
So look out, boys, 'cause this ain't the superhero movie for you; and step back, girls, 'cause it's not for you either, or you, Batman fans, or you, person with eyes and ears. This is a movie made for no one, about nothing, that never should've existed, whose only positive contribution to the world was Halle Berry's Razzie speech.
Halle Berry: Thank you for putting me in a piece of sh*t, God-awful movie! (laughs)
At least she's a good sport about it. Now just apologize for that toad line, and we're good.
Storm (from the first X-Men film): Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.
Starring Puss in Boots (Halle Berry as Patience Phillips/Catwoman), The Brat in the Cat (Benjamin Bratt as Tom Lone), Basuck Instinct (Sharon Stone as Laurel Hedare), Mugatu (Lambert Wilson as George Hedare), and The Lion King (CGI cats).
Hey, it's not like Marvel was doing much better at this point either. (shows a clip from Elektra) Echhhh.
- In 2017, Spencer Gilbert and Lon Harris made an "Honest Scene" video about Catwoman's infamous basketball scene for the Screen Junkies sketch show Flick Bait.The scene involved Spencer and Lon Harris recreating the action in the scene -- without using any fancy camerawork or editing. The segment was published as part of the June 3, 2017 episode of Flick Bait, titled "Hawkeye Is Getting His Own Solo Movie!" The video was removed from YouTube in October 2017.
- The last comment on viewer's comments pay tribute to the second James Bond, Roger Moore who passed away on May 23, 2017 at age of 89.
- Screen Junkies have also made Honest Trailers for several other DC superhero films including Wonder Woman, Tim Burton's Batman, Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy, Man of Steel, Suicide Squad and Justice League.
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other terrible films including The Room, The Last Airbender, After Earth, The Happening, Captain America (1990), The Star Wars Holiday Special, Howard the Duck and many others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Honest Trailers - Catwoman has a 98.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geeks of Doom wrote that Catwoman is "universally renowned as one of the worst movies ever made" and Screen Junkies give the film a "shredding." Screen Rant agreed writing Screen Junkies "certainly don't take it easy on the movie." Screen Rant found the Honest Trailer's criticisms of the excessive number of cuts in one fight scene and Halle Berry's hissing particularly notable. CBR.com noted that this Honest Trailer provides ample evidence of exactly why the film "has often found itself to be the butt of the joke among fans and critics."Geek Girl Authority wrote "the Screen Junkies crew dig deep into the flaws of the film, which there are MANY. Especially with the plot being flat and the big bad of the film was cosmetics." Similarly, Looper remarked that the Honest Trailer "pokes fun at the villain Catwoman has to face off against, saying that the film takes a step forward by showing a female superhero but takes eight steps back by having her do battle against evil moisturizer."
Production credits Edit
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Executive Producer - Andy Signore
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
- Catwoman Gets An Honest Trailer- Screen Rant article
- ‘Catwoman’ Honest Trailer: A Terribly Written, Ridiculously Acted Pile of Cat Barf - SlashFilm article
- Catwoman gets an Honest Trailer - Looper article
- Catwoman Gets A Brutal Honest Trailer - ComicBook.com article
- Honest Trailers Takes on the Atrocity of CATWOMAN- Geek Girl Authority article
- Catwoman Honest Trailer Compares Film to Batman & Robin - CBR.com article
- Watch ‘Catwoman’ Get The Honest Trailer Treatment - Geeks of Doom article