FANDOM


Catwoman is the 201st episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2004 superhero film Catwoman. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on May 30, 2017, to coincide with the theatrical release of Wonder Woman. It is 4 minutes 41 seconds long. It has been viewed over 3.5 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Catwoman on YouTube

"Revisit the worst in this sloppily directed, insanely edited, terribly written, ridiculously acted pile of cat barf." ~ Honest Trailers - Catwoman

ScriptEdit

From Pitof...just Pitof?...comes a solemn reminder that no matter what happens with the new Wonder Woman, the bar for female-led superhero movies is really, really low:

Catwoman

Before you see the best DC has to offer (Wonder Woman), revisit the worst in this sloppily directed, insanely edited (shows a fight scene with 37 camera cuts), terribly written, ridiculously acted pile of cat barf that came out just one year before Batman Begins, but feels more like the spiritual sequel to Batman & Robin.

Meet Selina Kyle...heh heh, just kidding; this movie has nothing to do with the source material. Meet some random lady named Patience Phillips, a graphic designer with two of film's horniest coworkers (Sally and Lance). She's supposed to be a frumpy nerd, but since Halle Berry is the exact opposite of that, they'll just bury her in plus size clothes and make her super clumsy. Everything will change when a cat French kisses her dead body on a pile of garbage. Patience will become Catwoman, a woman with the literal powers of a cat, like hissing, getting off to catnip, and eating disgusting amounts of tuna. But instead of, oh, I dunno, seeing a doctor about any of this, she'll just Google the phrase "cats.women" and give herself a haircut.

Watch a film that takes a step forward in representing a female superhero take eight steps back by having her do battle against moisturizer (Beau-line)...eeeeevil moisturizer, as cosmetics exec Sharon Stone gets to vent some of her personal frustrations with Hollywood (Laurel Hedare: I was everything they wanted me to be, and then I turned 40 and they threw me away.) while releasing a product that's a class-action lawsuit waiting to happen (Laurel Hedare: You stop using it, and your face disintegrates!). You know, I'm pretty sure that product gets recalled without Catwoman doing anything. She could literally sit her own movie out, and nothing would change.

Revisit an era where superheroes hit their low points, full of iconically crappy moments like the playground scene (shows Matt Murdock and Elektra fighting on a playground in Daredevil), the emo dance (shows Peter Parker dancing in Spider-Man 3), and the Bat-Credit Card (Batman & Robin); but not to be outdone, Catwoman makes its contribution to garbage culture in the weirdest game of basketball ever filmed. (shows Tom Lone dribbling a basketball while standing back-to-back with Patience Phillips) Why do they just stand there dribbling for each other? That's not how basketball works. (shows Patience Phillips dribbling a basketball while shaking her butt) Stop shaking your ass at him; kids are watching. (shows Tom Lone fanning himself with his shirt) Ughhh. (shows Patience Phillips leaping over Tom Lone and slam-dunking a basketball) Whyyyyyyy?!

So look out, boys, 'cause this ain't the superhero movie for you; and step back, girls, 'cause it's not for you either, or you, Batman fans, or you, person with eyes and ears. This is a movie made for no one, about nothing, that never should've existed, whose only positive contribution to the world was Halle Berry's Razzie speech.

Halle Berry: Thank you for putting me in a piece of sh*t, God-awful movie! (laughs)

At least she's a good sport about it. Now just apologize for that toad line, and we're good.

Storm (from the first X-Men film): Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Starring Puss in Boots (Halle Berry as Patience Phillips/Catwoman), The Brat in the Cat (Benjamin Bratt as Tom Lone), Basuck Instinct (Sharon Stone as Laurel Hedare), Mugatu (Lambert Wilson as George Hedare), and The Lion King (CGI cats).

Honest Trailers - CatwomanOpen Invideo 4-11 screenshot

Honest title for Catwoman - Hello Shi**y. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Hello Shi**y

Hey, it's not like Marvel was doing much better at this point either. (shows a clip from Elektra) Echhhh.

Trivia Edit

Honest scene - still basketball

A still taken from the "Honest Scene" for Catwoman. Image shows a kneeling Spencer J. Gilbert pawing the air like a cat while holding a basketball.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Catwoman has a 98.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geeks of Doom wrote that Catwoman is "universally renowned as one of the worst movies ever made" and Screen Junkies give the film a "shredding." Screen Rant agreed writing Screen Junkies "certainly don't take it easy on the movie." Screen Rant found the Honest Trailer's criticisms of the excessive number of cuts in one fight scene and Halle Berry's hissing particularly notable. CBR.com noted that this Honest Trailer provides ample evidence of exactly why the film "has often found itself to be the butt of the joke among fans and critics."Geek Girl Authority wrote "the Screen Junkies crew dig deep into the flaws of the film, which there are MANY. Especially with the plot being flat and the big bad of the film was cosmetics." Similarly, Looper remarked that the Honest Trailer "pokes fun at the villain Catwoman has to face off against, saying that the film takes a step forward by showing a female superhero but takes eight steps back by having her do battle against evil moisturizer."

Production credits Edit

Honest trailer catwoman

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Catwoman

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer - Andy Signore

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Michael Bolton, Christina Kline

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell & Andy Signore

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links Edit

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.