The 97th Honest Trailer, narrated by Jon Bailey, parodies the 2003 superhero film Daredevil.
Script
From the filmmaker (Mark Steven Johnson) who ruined not one (Daredevil), not two (Elektra), but three (Ghost Rider) different superheroes, comes Catwoman for men: Daredevil.
Before Netflix and Marvel Studios team up to hopefully do the character justice, return to the early 2000s, when superhero movies were still full of crappy CGI, Matrixing, Sopranos, and "izzies". (Franklin Nelson: Wilson Fisk is in the hizzy!)
Fresh off Pearl Harbor and Gigli, 2003's least favorite actor, Ben Affleck, stars as Matt Murdock, a boy granted superpowers after running face-first into an absurd amount of gigantic, unsecured toxic waste containers. With his eyesight taken from him, he'll use his other four senses to see perfectly, yet still dress up like a blind guy to score sympathy points with hot chicks, which gives Ben Affleck an excuse to show off his stupid, cross-eyed derp face. Ermahgerd, it's the Derpdevil.
By day, he's a lawyer who's terrible at his job (Matt Murdock: Another rapist back on the streets.); but by night, he's the Daredevil, a vigilante who beats up the men he's too incompetent to prosecute...
Quesada: I was acquitted!
Daredevil: Not by me.
(he throws Quesada onto a subway track)
...and lets innocent people die so he can have PG-13 sex with Jennifer Garner. Cheer for a superhero who's barely more powerful than your average cop, as this poor poor man's Spider-Man fights crime with an odd grab bag of powers, like super jumping, creepy smelling, and super heart rate monitoring. So he's a human lie detector, and he still can't win a case? Wow, just wow.
Along for the ride on Daredevil's generic directionless quest for justice is Elektra Natchios, a girl who, for the first half of the movie, is really just there to look hot, so hot that Matt will add stalking and sexual harassment to his growing list of crimes.
Matt Murdock: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a second. Take it easy.
(he grabs Elektra's wrist)
Elektra Natchios: I don't like being touched.
Matt Murdock: Why don't you tell me what you do like, and we'll start there?
See, kids? If a girl doesn't like you, beat her up until she changes her mind (shows Matt and Elektra in hand-to-hand combat).
Witness the least subtle superhero movie since Batman & Robin, as Elektra and Daredevil team up against the Kingpin, a man who wants to...be a kingpin; and Bullseye, a man who...targets things, as if the giant f*cking target on his head wasn't enough of a giveaway. But if you still manage to get lost, don't worry, because Ben Affleck will explain everything in voice-over that sounds like he's just waking up from a coma.
Matt Murdock (voice-over): My sense of sound gave off a kind of radar sense...there are days when I believe, and others when I have lost all faith...I had set out to save the city, but with Elektra's help, I saved myself instead.
(the narrator snorts and wakes up) Wha- ah, hm, sorry, what?
So settle in for what's basically Ben Affleck's really disappointing audition to be the next Batman, where he plays a brooding loner who becomes a vigilante crime fighter after his dad is murdered by criminals in an alley, uses a ridiculous Batman voice when he's in costume, travels by grappling hook, is scared of bats, and refuses to kill.
Daredevil: That's the C-train!
(a subway train approaches Quesada on the tracks)
Oh, wait, never mind. He'll totally kill. (Daredevil throws Bullseye out a window)
Matt Murdock: I'm not the bad guy.
Yeah, you kinda are, though.
Starring A Soundtrack Full of the 2000s' Worst Nu Metal Bands: P.O.D., Hoobastank, Seether, Drowning Pool, Evanescence, Evanescence Again, and Nickelback.
Batfleck Begins.
(two flaming 'D's light up on the subway floor)
Umm, shouldn't that be in Braille?