Deadpool & Wolverine is the 564th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2024 superhero film Deadpool & Wolverine. It was published on October 8, 2024. It is 7 minutes and 56 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.9 million times.
Script[]
Deadpool 1 was a hard-R rom-com anyone could enjoy. Deadpool 2 was a love letter to action-comedy fans. (shows Dopinder screaming as Deadpool leaps into his taxi) Now, in Deadpool's next adventure, they're only speaking to nerds who fight in the comments of r/movies. (pulls up said subreddit)
Blade: I don't like you.
Deadpool: You never did.
(in a Deadpool impression) "Yeah, see, that's funny 'cause behind the scenes of Blade: Trinity, Wesley Snipes had issues with co-stars Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel, a story notably relayed by Patton Oswalt in his appearance on Pete Holmes-- I'm sorry, what's that, now? (whispering) Oh, okay, I'll shut up. I'm sorry..."
Deadpool & Wolverine
Now that Ryan Reynolds has smartly diversified from acting (shows the logos for Mint Mobile, Alpine F1 Team, Wrexham A.F.C., Wealthsimple, Aviation American Gin, MNTN, 1Password, HOMAGE, and Nuvei, all of which Ryan Reynolds has an ownership stake in), and Jon Favreau is running creative at Disney...
Happy: Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss.
...prepare for another forced march down memory lane. It's not as bad as The Flash, it's not as good as No Way Home, but it's got more embarrassing celebrity cameos than a party at Diddy's house, from the legendary (Blade), to the Odyssey...
Deadpool: This isn't a car. This is a Honda f*ckin' Odyssey.
...the heroes (the Human Torch), to the Honda...
Deadpool: I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey f*cks hard.
...the small roles...
Pyro: Toad!
Toad: (snarls)
Pyro: You're up.
...to the minivans with top scores from J.D. Power & Associates.
Woman: So, how does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey?
I love generating value for shareholders... Uh, I mean, commercials. I mean, movies! I love movies! Right?!
Even though he lives next to Bluey these days (shows Deadpool and Deadpool 2 alongside Bluey on Disney+), Deadpool is still just how you remembered.
Deadpool: This is Baby Knife. She's gonna f*ck you in the face now.
Yes, he knows he's in a movie...
Wade: (grabs the camera) Suck it, Fox! (grabs a boom mic) I'm going to Disneyland. (rams his head into the camera) Get f*cked!
...he knows he's Ryan Reynolds...
Wade: I don't wanna spend the rest of my life like an annoying one-trick pony.
...and he knows that if he doesn't make a joke every six seconds, people will start to think about the plot, and you do not want to do that...
Paradox: --the multiverse does not need a babysitter. We need a mercy killer.
...because this time... uh, the... TVA, uh... they are, uh... Ugh, sorry; Phase Five taught my brain to go soft focus anytime someone says "multiverse".
Paradox: No one comes back from The Void!
Wolverine: Tell that to Cassandra Nova.
If you squint, you can pretend Tom is talking to a different Logan.
Logan Roy (Succession): Uh-huh.
Tom Wambsgans: Yeah, okay. Sure.
Regardless, if the Logan from Logan dies, the universe fades away, like Steve Carell leaving The Office, so Deadpool has to replace Logan, even though he's still alive, since that film takes place in the future...?
Man on Radio: It's 2029.
This has to be the most convoluted setup for a film about two guys making dick jokes in a van; couldn't they just drive Charles to Taco Bell together?
Xavier: The new Quesalupa from Taco Bell! Get it with chicken! Get it with steak!
Hugh Jackman has returned as Wolverine, because divorce is expensive.
Hunter B-15: I have a feeling your work is only just getting started.
Deadpool: (whispering in Logan's ear) Till you're 90.
He'll finally put on the costume, but since this is Disney we're talking about, every old hero has to establish what a sad-sack piece of sh*t they've become first.
Wolverine: You might not know it, but apparently, I'm the worst Logan.
Thrill as Hugh Jackman gives a fully committed, intense, Oscar-worthy performance...
Logan: (tearing up) I walked away. They called after me, and I... I walked away.
...which, like... thank you, but was that necessary? This didn't tip you off? (shows Deadpool visiting a Logan with his "comic-accurate" height of 5'3") (in a Hugh Jackman impression) "Should I also be crying in this scene as Tiny Me? 'Does it matter'? 'Get back in the Honda Odyssey'? Right-o!"
Watch these immortal warriors clash in a string of brutal (shows Wolverine slashing Deadpool's pistol to pieces), vicious (shows Wolverine repeatedly punching Deadpool), completely anticlimactic fights (shows Deadpool being tossed out of the Odyssey through the sunroof), that are pointless even by the standards of a genre where no one stays dead for three consecutive projects...
Deadpool: (after seeing the Deadpool Corps members he just killed get right back up none the worse for wear) Ugh, come on.
...and were only truly punishing on Marvel's overworked VFX teams. But this movie knows fans have been desperate to see these exact fights their entire lives. Source? Themselves.
Blade: Ooh, this is gonna be good.
Deadpool: Get your special sock out, nerds. It's gonna get good. / Let's give the people what they came for! / People have waited decades for this fight.
I mean, look, he's not wrong, but you don't have to call us little piggies while you feed us the slop. Let this little piggy keep some dignity!
Gambit: You know how long I've been waiting for this?
<GASP!> Channing Tatum's Gambit?!
Gambit: Whoo! I'm about to make a name for myself here.
REE! REE! REEEEE!!
Together, DP and W will be banished to The Void, a big field outside of time and space where comic book fights are easier to shoot, and there's plot justification for more surprising cameos, as in, "I'm surprised I remember any of these people at all." There lives Cassandra Nova, Charles Xavier's secret evil twin (shows Cassandra as stereotypical "shocking revelation" music plays); she may share Chuck's accent and hairline, but not his distaste for using Omega-level powers to ruin your day... unless they're critical to the plot, in which case, a light fingering will do.
Cassandra: (after phasing her hand through Paradox's head) Come on.
She's generic, forgettable, and her plan makes no sense. Wow, Deadpool really has joined the MCU, huh? (shows Cassandra alongside M.O.D.O.K., Ivan Vanko, Ronan the Accuser, Malekith, and Kaecilius)
So strap in for a cinematic version of one of those Who's Who in the Marvel Universe books...
Deadpool: Alioth is in this thing? From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5?
...that sidelines the entire Deadpool ensemble not named "Peter"...
Wade: --they didn't test well in the focus group.
Happy: I see.
Wade: Particularly Cable.
...goes light on the central love story that grounds the franchise...
Wade: Sir, my girl has, uh, kinda had it with my shtick...
...and will delight exactly one generation of moviegoers for months to come, because once this era is over, there's going to be a lot of awkward silence where the "pause for cheering" moments go. (montage of cameos appearing onscreen in total silence as text pops up reading "PLEASE CLAP", followed by "PLEASE CHEER LIKE YOUR PARENTS DID IN ENDGAME" when the Deadpool Corps walk through the portal) <sigh> Maybe Disney will just buy up whatever the next generation cares about, like Minecraft, Five Nights at Freddy's, or Skibidi Toilet. (a Variety article with the title "'Skibidi Toilet' Film and TV Franchise in the Works From Michael Bay, Adam Goodman - Listen to the Exclusive Interview" pops up) Ugh... It's so much worse than I thought...
Starring: The Merc Store Called and They're Running Out of You (Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson/Deadpool); The Greatest Logan (Hugh Jackman as Logan/Wolverine); Princess Die (Emma Corrin as Cassandra Nova); Time and Prejudice (Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Paradox); The Van That's Not in This Movie (Morena Baccarin as Vanessa Carlysle); The Adventures of Pete & Skeet (Rob Delaney as Peter Wisdom); Not Another Teen Wolvie (Dafne Keen as Laura Kinney/X-23); Jenny from the Flop (Jennifer Garner as Elektra Natchios); Dayplayer (Wesley Snipes as Eric Brooks/Blade); Close-Up Magic Mike (Channing Tatum as Remy LeBeau/Gambit); I'm On Ozempic, Bitch! (Aaron W. Reed as Cain Marko/Juggernaut); He Cooked (Chris Evans as Johnny Storm/Human Torch); Spayed Wilson (Peggy as Mary Puppins/Dogpool); Simpool (Ryan Reynolds as Nicepool); Timpool (Olin Reynolds as Babypool); She Has Some Notes Pool (Christiaan Bettridge and Blake Lively as Ladypool); and Carpool.
Wade: Now, let's go sell some certified pre-owned vehicles, motherfu--
Cash In of the Christ
The honest title for Deadpool & Wolverine was ‘Cash In of the Christ’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Blind Al: Wanna do some cocaine?
Wade: (whispering) Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off-limits.
Wait, the guy who greenlit Secret Invasion is anti-cocaine? I'm not buying it.
Viewer's Comments[]
PLEASE PLEEEASE PLEEEEEASE SAY GAMBIT'S "whoooimabouttomakeanameformyselfhere" FROM DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE 🤣🤣🤣 - shemaljayasundera7025
In honor of the 30th Anniversary of Clerks and my 37th Birthday being one week from today, please say, 37???!!!!!!! - Mustlovemusic21
Please say "And this may be the last time you hear the Boogie Song" in honor of Ken Page - Depth217
Trivia[]
- The final comment in the viewer's comments pays tribute to Ken Page, an actor and cabaret singer best known for his roles as Old Deuteronomy in the original Broadway production of Cats, the Cowardly Lion in the original Broadway production of The Wiz, and Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas, who passed away on September 30, 2024, at the age of 70.
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Manager: Emin Bassavand
Content Manager: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Post-Production Specialist: Rebecca Castaneda
VP Content: Max Dionne
