Donnie Darko is the 375th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2001 science fiction psychological thriller film Donnie Darko. It was published on December 8, 2020. It is 5 minutes and 8 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script []
It flopped in theaters. (a Google result pops up detailing the film's gross of $7.5 million on a $4.5 million budget) It barely made sense the first three times you watched it. But if you're a film nerd of a certain age, or a furry with a dark side, then you love...
Donnie Darko
Revisit the cult classic you watched on DVD, so dudes would stop saying, "Wait, you've never seen Donnie Darko?!", then corner you while they try to explain it, in this film that gave millennials their first taste of arthouse weirdness, their first crush on a Gyllenhaal, and their first awakening/confirmation of their inner mall goth. Hey, don't play it cool 'cause it came out 20 years ago; we all have an inner mall goth. HISSSSS!
Meet Donnie Darko, a name so cool, you gotta say the whole thing every time. (montage of characters saying Donnie Darko's full name)
Gretchen: What was his name?
David: Donnie. Donnie Darko.
Like most teenagers, he thinks he's a misunderstood genius...
Principal Cole: --your Iowa test scores are... intimidating.
Ronald: Dammit. Donnie, why-why do you gotta get so smart on us?
...who's so special, the fate of the entire world revolves around his choices. But unlike every other teenager, he's right, 'cause Donnie doesn't just blow grownups' minds with his knowledge bombs...
Donnie: (to Miss Farmer) --you can't just lump everything into these two categories; things aren't that simple.
...he's also a superhero stuck in a parallel universe who needs to send a duplicate jet engine back in time through a portal with the power of telekinesis, or reality is doomed. Okay, so none of that is shown in the movie, per se, but if you watch the Director's Cut and pause it during the excerpts from The Philosophy of Time Travel, it's pretty obvious that-- (Donnie backs his car out of the parking lot) Hey, hey, wait! Where are you going?! Come on! Hey, don't you want to go back to my dorm and listen to that "Mad World" song? I-I've got more theories!
Return to the 80's -- But not in an annoying Stranger Things kind of way; just a bunch of timely Michael Dukakis references.
Elizabeth: I'm voting for Dukakis.
Rose: Do you honestly think Michael Dukakis will provide for this country till you're ready to squeeze one out?
Dukakis: (on the TV) But I want to be a president of the United States...
Eddie: Son of a b*tch.
-- and thrill when Bugs-Bunny-on-ketamine arrives to give Donnie 28 days to save the world...
Frank: That is when the world will end.
...then, like most kids his age, waits until the last six hours to do anything about it.
Donnie: (to Ronald and Sean) 'Cause time is running out! We gotta go!
To fulfill his destiny, he'll need help from Patrick Swayze, trying his hardest to make you not like him...
Cunningham: Is that all the gusto you can muster? I said "good morning"!
Eh, still like him.
Newscaster: Firefighters discovered what has been referred to as a "kiddie porn dungeon".
Okay, fine...; this messy English teacher who loves drama...
Ms. Pomeroy: (to Gretchen) Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest.
...this cool girlfriend who falls asleep at the beginning of Evil Dead?! That's a deal-breaker, fellas.; and Seth Rogen before he'd smoked the edges off his personality.
Ricky: --didn't your dad, like... stab your mom?
This is really hard to watch.
Ricky: (to Gretchen) I like your boobs.
Ugh, it's horrible! Give that man a dab, fast! (a clip of Seth Rogen chuckling) Oh, that's better...
So bust out your skeleton shirt and throw on some Tears for Fears for the ultimate cult classic, that got buried because October 2001 was, uh... a bad time to release an airplane crash movie. But it's so unique and open-ended, you can go deeper into your own theories with every re-watch, until you finally grow out of it and take on the real challenge: making sense of the creator's other big movie. (plays a scene from Southland Tales showing a car "humping" another car) Now, this is deep.
Starring: Donald Glower (Jake Gyllenhaal as Donnie Darko) (montage of Donnie staring into the distance); Malone in the Dark (Jena Malone as Gretchen Ross); RACHEL! (Maggie Gyllenhaal as Elizabeth Darko); S. Darko: Origins (Daveigh Chase as Samantha Darko); Patrick Shady (Patrick Swayze as Jim Cunningham); Never Been Dismissed (Drew Barrymore as Karen Pomeroy); Put the Bunny Back in the Box (James Duval as Frank Anderson); Nothing But Respect for My President (Mary McDonnell as Rose Darko); It's Been 84 Years... (Patience Cleveland as Roberta Sparrow/"Grandma Death"); She's a Karen Queen [Queen Karen] (Beth Grant as Kitty Farmer); Cuties, Available Now on Netflix (the "Sparkle Motion" dance group); Beavis and Butthead (Seth Rogen as Ricky Danforth and Alex Greenwald as Seth Devlin); When the Edible Hits (Donnie's eyes dilating in the worldline); and... The Comments When We Get Something Wrong in an Honest Trailer.
Donnie: (to Ronald and Sean) First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette; Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy... / But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. / And as for the whole gangbang scenario... heh. / That's what's so illogical, you know. / Smurfs are asexual. They-They don't even have... reproductive organs... / What's the point of living... if you don't have a d*ck? / --it just couldn't happen!
The honest title for Donnie Darko was ‘28 Days Later’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
You know, if you want to talk to a cute girl in your class, don't listen to the evil bunny when he tells you to flood the school so you can walk home together. You can just say hi!
Viewer's Comments []
Pleas say "Luke I am a Paid actor David Prowse" - The Gravity Breaker
Ugh, again? Really?
Please say: "Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man!" - RayaRay
Trivia []
Reception []
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert & Joe Starr
Edited by: Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet