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Dragonball Evolution is the 45th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2009 fantasy action-adventure film Dragonball Evolution. In addition to regular narrator Jon Bailey, it features Lawrence "MasakoX" Simpson and Nick "Lanipator" Landis of TeamFourStar reprising their roles from Dragonball Z: Abridged. It was published on December 24, 2013, based on viewer requests. It is 4 minutes 57 seconds long. It has been viewed over 9.3 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Dragonball Evolution on YouTube

"An adaptation that steals from everything except the source material." ~ Honest Trailers - Dragonball Evolution

ScriptEdit

(many requests for a Dragonball Evolution Honest Trailer appear)

Happy holidays. This year, we got you the trailer you've requested the most, for some reason.

After 42 volumes of comics, 18 movies, and 15 seasons of television, one live-action adaptation will ignore everything people loved about the Dragon Ball franchise, in America's biggest insult to Japanese culture since Hiroshima:

Dragonball Evolution

Prepare for Fox's half-assed attempt to cash in on their expiring rights to Dragon Ball. It's an adaptation that steals from everything except the source material, featuring elements of The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, Twilight...?...and The Last Airbender...?

Roshi: The Shadow Crane Strike is the most basic of all the airbending techniques.

Oh, come on!

When the Sith Lord Piccolo escapes his ancient prison...somehow, Goku, a student at Video Game High School, must find the Dragon Balls before something about an eclipse, or else something about...Oozaru, the evil monkey werewolf. It doesn't make any sense. Can I get a little help here?

(the cast of Dragonball Z: Abridged appears in the recording booth)

Goku: We'll take it from here, Honest Trailer Voice Man-Voice.

Jon Bailey: Thanks, guys. I'm totally lost.

Piccolo: All right, listen up. Dragon Ball is the epic saga of a martial artist who (shows Justin Chatwin as Goku)...wait, that's Goku?

Goku: Well, this is an outrage! I never went to school!

Piccolo: Also, I don't think you're white...?

Goku: I'm a Saiya-genie!

Piccolo: Anyway, it's about Noku here's quest to collect all seven wish-granting Dragon Balls before... (shows Piccolo and Mai) Whoa! When did I get a hot Asian sidekick? Maybe this movie isn't so bad.

Roshi (in the trailer): I am Muten Roshi the Invincible! (laughs)

Goku (in the trailer): My grandfather is dead. (Roshi stops laughing)

Piccolo: Nope, it sucks.

Krillin: And along the way, Goku is joined by his best friend Krillin...who should be showing up in the movie any second now...any second.

Jon Bailey: You're not in the movie.

Krillin: Dammit! (KRILLIN MOVIE OWNED COUNT: 1)

Jon Bailey: I gotta be honest, guys. This still seems pretty stupid.

Goku: But, like, the show is way better. I fly around on a magic cloud, fight a shape-shifting man-pig...

Krillin: ...and help a 300-year-old man get laid! Have we sold you yet?

Jon Bailey: Not really, but thanks for trying.

Goku: You bet. Bye-bye, Honest Trailer Man Voice-Man.

(the Dragonball characters blast out of the recording booth)

Jon Bailey: Hey! My roof!

Goku: Sorry!

Jon Bailey: Ughhh.

Power up for a movie that doesn't just sound bad, it looks bad, as the epic ki attacks from the cartoon are replaced with CGI hand farts. (shows characters making Ki Blasts with accompanying fart noises) Squirm as the awkward level goes over 9,000 in a movie full of long pauses, terrible dialogue, and Justin Chatwin's forehead vein.

So gather up all your balls -- heh, heh -- for the one wish that everyone can agree on: make this movie never exist.

Starring...

(Vegeta appears in the recording booth)

Vegeta: How dare they make a movie about Kakarot and not invite me?

Jon Bailey: Oh, God, not another one.

Vegeta: I am Vegeta, prince of all Sai-- (shows Yamcha from the film) Oh, my God, is that the beta male? Looks like a tiger with Down syndrome. Never mind, bullet dodged.

Jon Bailey: Would you like to do the honors?

Vegeta: Of course I will.

Starring Geico (Justin Chatwin as Goku); Teetees (Jamie Chung as Chi-Chi); The Mask (James Marsters as Piccolo); The Ki Maker (Randall Duk Kim as Grandpa Gohan); Crouching Tiger, Dead Career (Chow Yun-fat as Muten Roshi); Nobody's Favorite Ghostbuster (Ernie Hudson as Sifu Norris); Mighty Joe Young (Ian Whyte as Oozaru); and Not Lara Croft (Emmy Rossum as Bulma). Oh, God, what a steaming pile.

Jon Bailey: Dragonball Evolution.

Vegeta: So, wait, Kakanot wishes a guy he just met back to life at the end of the movie, but he just lets the man who raised him from birth stay dead. I can dig that.

 Trivia Edit

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Dragonball Evolution has a 98.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Uproxx said the Honest Trailer "reminds us how much Dragonball Evolution sucked." Nerd Bastards wrote that the Honest Trailer contained "some funny parts for sure, but it really just makes me sad. Sad that something with such a fantastic amount of memorable material to draw from, got a quick, “Let’s make a Buck” attempt at bringing the franchise to the big screen." Kotaku wrote that the Honest Trailer's line "America's worst insult to Japanese culture since Hiroshima" "might be going a bit far, but otherwise Screen Junkies' Honest Trailer treatment of the abysmal Dragonball Evolution is spot-on."

 Production credits Edit

DragonballEvolution

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Dragonball Evolution

Directed by Andy Signore

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External links Edit

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