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Honest Trailer - Face/Off

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Face/Off is the 213th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1997 sci-fi action film Face/Off. It was published on August 29, 2017, to coincide with the 20th anniversary of the film's release. It is 4 minutes 59 seconds long. It has been viewed over 2.0 million times

Watch Honest Trailers - Face/Off on YouTube

"It all makes perfect sense, if you're on a lot of cocaine." ~ Honest Trailers - Face/Off

Script[]

(multiple comments requesting the trailer pop up)

Weird choice. Well, I guess it did come out 20 years ago this summer; good enough for me.

You know their names. (shows John Travolta and Nicolas Cage's credits) You know their faces. And when the two of them switch, you know they're gonna get off. (shows the two of them moaning loudly)

Face/Off

One cop will do whatever it takes to take down the man who killed his son... by cutting his rival's face off, putting that face on his own face, doing absolutely nothing to change his body, healing instantly from this massive surgery, telling no one what he did, going undercover in a prison where everyone wears magnet boots, gaining the trust of his Muppet-voiced brother...

Pollux: Bye, bro. Drop me a line sometime. (chuckles)

...getting high, and maybe porking his rival's girlfriend, all the while hoping his rival doesn't wake from a coma, put his face on his body, pork his wife with his face, kill his boss, and challenge him to a deadly speedboat fight, forcing him to harpoon him with a speargun, and adopt his love child to replace the similar-looking son he killed five years ago. It all makes perfect sense, if you're on a lot of cocaine.

Prepare for the matchup you didn't know you were waiting for: John Travolta vs. Nicolas Cage, two Oscar-worthy actors (shows Travolta as Anthony "Tony" Manero in Saturday Night Fever and Cage as Ronny Cammareri in Moonstruck), who turned into jokes (shows Travolta as Tony Manero in Staying Alive (1983) and Cage as Peter Loew in Vampire's Kiss), made the effort to become Oscar-worthy again (shows Travolta as Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction and Cage as Ben Sanderson in Leaving Las Vegas), then realized it's way more fun to be ridiculous, in this script that makes slightly more sense when you find out it was written for Schwarzenegger and Stallone. (shows an excerpt from the film's Wikipedia page, highlighting how the first actors chosen to play the leads were Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger) Aw man, that would've been awesome (shows a mockup of the film's poster with Schwarzenegger and Stallone), but at least we got... E-Escape Plan?

Ray Breslin (Escape Plan): Say cheese.

(shows Emil Rottmayer and Javed Afridi cheekily smiling at a security camera)

Ehh...

If you love action, director John Woo has something for you, as Woo woos you with his signature D's: dives (shows Archer as Troy leaping into the ocean during his prison escape), dual wielding (montage of characters shooting two pistols at once), and doves (shows a large flock of doves in a chapel) -- SO. MANY. DOVES. -- as you enjoy action set pieces that never stop, until they stop to point their guns at each other, dramatically.

Archer: (as he and Troy point their guns eat each other's faces) What we don't have in common...

Shoot!

Archer: ...is that I don't care if I live, and you do.

And... shoot.

Troy: --that hurts.

Shoot now.

(shows Troy as Archer chuckling as he aims at Archer as Troy)

Now shoot.

(shows Troy as Archer aiming at Archer as Troy through a mirror)

Shoot.

(shows Archer as Troy aiming at Troy as Archer through the same mirror)

And... shoot. Shoot, dammit! Shoot each other in your faces!

Witness the over-the-top craziness of two actors playing other actors pretending to be themselves... I-I think, where Nic Cage acts like John Travolta learning to act like Nic Cage (shows Archer as Troy smiling maniacally during the prison fight), while John Travolta acts like Nic Cage slowly realizing how boring it is to be John Travolta.

Troy as Archer: This is turning into a real marriage.

Confused? Don't worry; so is everyone else.

Archer as Troy: I'M CASTOR TROY!!

Tito: (to a struggling Archer as Troy) You're Sean Archer! Sean Archer.

Troy as Archer: (to Victor) I am Castor Troy.

Archer as Troy: (hugging Eve) I'm Sean.

Archer as Troy: (to himself in a mirror) I'm me. Not me. Me.

Troy as Archer: --I'm Castor. That's Archer.

Sasha: And I'm bored.

So if you love body swap comedies like Freaky Friday, but wish everyone was trying to kill each other, then Face/Off is the only movie crazy enough from '96 to '97 for you, except maybe Con Air... or The Rock. Wow, what a crazy couple of years for action movies, huh? And by "action movies", I mean Nic Cage. (shows Archer as Troy yelling in joy and then terror during the prison fight)

Dietrich: No more drugs for that man.

Starring: Look Who's Stalking (John Travolta as Sean Archer/Castor Troy); Despite All My Rage, I Am Still Just Nicolas Cage (as Castor Troy/Sean Archer); Emo Phillips (Alessandro Nivola as Pollux Troy); I Used to Love Doggy Chow (Gina Gershon as Sasha Hassler); The Bourne Suprema-Lady (Joan Allen as Eve Archer); Margaret Cho? That's Weird. (Margaret Cho as Wanda Chang); The Director of The Notebook? That's Even Weirder. (Nick Cassavetes as Dietrich Hassler); Peach Appreciation...

Troy as Archer: (to Eve) --my peach.

Troy: (to Agent Winters, disguised as a flight attendant) You know, I can, uh... eat a peach for hours.

Troy: (to Archer) Your little peach. Is she ripe?

Cindee: (to Archer as Troy) Remember me? I'm your favorite peach. (places his hand on her rear)

Archer as Troy: Peach.

Troy as Archer: Peaches.

...and Travolta's Weird Face-Touching Habit. (montage of Archer touching characters' faces)

John Travolta: (to Idina Menzel during the 2015 Academy Awards, while touching her face) My darling, my beautiful, my... wickedly talented Idina Menzel.

Trading/Faces

for Face/Off - Trading/Faces. Titles designed by .

Honest Title for Face/Off - Trading/Faces. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Eve: (to Archer as Troy) You know, we've been living together as man and wife for a week.

How did she not know it was her husband's face on a new body? Did they switch dongs, too? 'Cause "Dong/Off" is a very different movie.

Trivia[]

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Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Face/Off has a 98.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media sites commended the Honest Trailer for shining a light on how wonderfully weird Face/Off is. Screen Rant wrote that Face/Off features "many easy targets for humor, and the Honest Trailer doesn't miss a single one of them." In the same article, Screen Rant praised the Honest Trailer for acknowledging Face/Off is so enjoyable because of "everything to do with Cage and Travolta chewing the scenery like it was made of particularly flavorful gum." Slash Film singled out the Honest Trailer's cocaine line for particular praise, but noted "the only downside to this Honest Trailer is that most of the laughs that come from Face/Off are inherent to the film itself." In contrast, Pajiba appreciated the Honest Trailer for letting the weirdness of the film stand on its own, writing "unlike other Honest Trailers, the one for Face/Off doesn’t really have to crack that many jokes… because just trying to explain the premise of the film is funny enough." Slate praised the Honest Trailer for capturing "the over-the-top insanity of Face/Off that makes it such an enduring classic." Slate also said the Honest Trailer "will make you long for the equally bizarre movie that might have been, had it starred Schwarzenegger and Stallone, as the writers originally intended."

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Face/Off

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Face/Off

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer - Andy Signore

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Max Dionne

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell & Andy Signore

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links []

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