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Honest Trailer - Fifty Shades of Grey

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Fifty Shades of Grey is the 100th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2015 adaption of the erotic romance novel Fifty Shades of Grey. It takes the format of a musical episode and features Jessica Jablonski performing a parody of the Beyoncé song "Crazy in Love", which appeared in the film's actual trailer. It was published on May 5, 2015, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 5 minutes 24 seconds long. It has been viewed over 21 million times and is one of the highest-viewed Honest Trailers of all time.

Watch Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey on YouTube

"This movie's written so lazy right now, the book that it was based on so lazy right now. I wish somebody would tase me right now, this story's 'bout as sexy as rabies right now." ~ Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey

Script[]

Six years ago, FanFiction.net user Snowqueens Icedragon wrote a dirty story on her cell phone.

E. L. James: I used to w-write a lot of it on--on my... BlackBerry.

Elizabeth Vargas: You wrote it on your BlackBerry?

E. L. James: Yeah. And...

Then, you turned her kinky Twilight fanfiction (Master of the Universe) into one of the best-selling novels of all time; way to go. (a The Hollywood Reporter article with the title "'Fifty Shades of Grey' Sales Hit 100 Million" pops up) Now, get ready for the film adaptation, that ended up leaving millions of people around the world asking... "Is that it?"

Fifty Shades of Grey

Teenage girls around the world made Twilight into a global phenomenon; now, it's Mom's turn, as the ridiculous fantasy of dating a vampire is cast aside... for the ridiculous fantasy of being a gorgeous billionaire's pampered sex slave.

Meet Bella Swan. Oh, I'm sorry; I mean... You--You know what? Screw it. Meet Bella Swan (Anastasia Steele), a cutesy, non-descript virgin, who's so sweet, she doesn't even know what a butt plug is.

Anastasia: What are butt plugs?

It's a plug... for your butt. Speaking of buttholes, her world will change when she meets the mysterious Christian "Edward Cullen" Grey, a mysterious billionaire who runs a mysterious multinational corporation, which is mysteriously able to function without him doing any actual work; he's emotionally repressed...

Christian: Hearts and flowers? That's not something I know.

...rude...

Anastasia: To what do you owe your s--

Christian: "To what do I owe my success?" [...] Seriously?

...is a stalker... (montage of Anastasia being frightened by Christian suddenly appearing)

Anastasia: What are you doing here, Christian?

Christian: I came to see you.

...controls what she eats...

Christian: Eat. / You... need to eat. / "The submissive will eat regularly, to maintain her health and well-being..."

...and is an all-around sociopath.

Anastasia: You're the complete serial killer.

Christian: Not today.

But who cares when you've got these: (zooms in on Christian's ab muscles) aaaaabs, and (zooms in on Christian's Audi collection) Aaaaaudis, and aaaaa... really nice apartment?

So strap in for all the steamy action people were expecting from Fifty Shades of Grey, like... email (shows Anastasia composing an email), texting (shows Christian responding to a text), contracts...

Christian: This is the contract. Read it carefully. / "The following are the terms of a binding contract..."

...contract negotiations...

Anastasia: --turn to page five. Appendix three, "Soft limits".

...non-disclosure agreements...

Anastasia: What's this?

Christian: It's a non-disclosure agreement.

...conditions...

Christian: I'm not gonna touch you. Not until I have your written consent.

Anastasia: What?

...clauses...

Anastasia: I broke rule seven, clause five.

...and tender missionary lovemaking. What the f*ck? Let's get kinky weird! Epic Voice Guy has a dull marriage, man!

Not Starring These Horrible Lines from the Book That Thankfully Didn't Make It Into the Movie...

  • "His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."
  • "I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto."
  • "His erection springs free. Holy cow!"

(to the tune of "Crazy in Love")

This movie's written so lazy right now
The book that it was based on so lazy right now

  • "Holy crap! He's wearing a white shirt."
  • "I flush at the waywardness of my subconscious -- she's doing her happy dance in a bright red hula skirt."

I wish somebody would tase me right now
This story's 'bout as sexy as rabies right now

...and This Line That Did...

Christian: 'Cause I am 50 shades of f*cked up.

Ugh, what does that even mean?! That's not even a common phrase; it's just related to the dumb title of the book! Ugh, worst date night ever! I'm never getting laid...

Oh, I'll just go
And watch a porno

Fifty Shades of Great, There's Gonna Be Two More of These; Good Job, World

for Fifty Shades of Grey - Fifty Shades of Great, There's Gonna Be Two More of These; Good Job, World. Title design by .

Honest title for Fifty Shades of Grey - Fifty Shades of Great, There's Gonna Be Two More of These; Good Job, World. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Anastasia: Punish me. Show me how bad it can be. I want you to show me the worst.

Christian: I'm gonna hit you six times.

Six slaps is the worst it gets? Didn't you Google bondage earlier? (shows Anastasia performing an image search on "submissive")

Trivia[]

  • Screen Junkies have also created Honest Trailers for the other films in the Fifty Shades series: Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed.
  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey has a 98.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant declared the Honest Trailer was "hilarious." Time and the Radio Times both praised the parody version of "Crazy In Love." IndieWire found the Honest Trailer notable for pointing out that the film was neither sexy nor kinky. E! Online appreciated the lines from the book that didn't make it into the movie. Bustle noted that "even fans of the films should be able to appreciate the truth within the viral sensation. The five-minute-long trailer takes on some of the things that both critics and readers alike acknowledge about the romantic thriller, from the undeniably corny dialogue to the film's origins as fanfiction."

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Fifty Shades of Grey

Original music by Sean Motley

Vocals by Jessica Jablonski

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell, & Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell & Jason Inman

External links[]

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