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Frozen II is the 334th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2019 film Frozen II. It was published on February 25, 2020, to coincide with the film's release of digital/Blu-ray. It is 5 minutes and 11 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.8 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Frozen II on YouTube

Script Edit

From the studio who brought you Lion King 1½, Mulan II, and Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure [Disney], comes a Disney animated film that’s nothing like their lazy direct-to-video sequels of the past, because this one came out in theaters.

Frozen II

Six years after Frozen melted your heart, you grew up and moved on to better things. But when there's money to be made, some companies just can't let it go, in this scattershot follow-up wrapped around an album's worth of B-sides that's vague and world-build-y enough to set the stage for Frozens 3-7½: Scamp's Adventure.

Young Anna: That was epic...!

All your favorite characters are back... to who they were at the beginning of Frozen I. Elsa's still moping on balconies; Anna's still caught between her sister and a mister; Kristoff has so little to do, they give him the plot of a 1930's comedy act...

Kristoff: I said you'd have to be crazy to want to marry a man you just met.

Anna: Wait, what? "Crazy"? You didn't say I was crazy. Do you think I'm crazy?!

Kristoff: No...

...and Olaf is doing his best to hold it all together, until he joins the Disney Hall of Dust (shows clips from Frozen II, Avengers: Infinity War, and Maleficent: Mistress of Evil showing characters turning to dust). But what they all lack in character growth, they make up for in COSTUME UPGRADES! (angry child's voice) Mom, I already told you, I want the Self-Actualized Elsa with the sparkly personal growth dress! This is Fearless Queen Elsa with the gossamer dream cape! Idiot! And where's new Permafrost Olaf?!

Are you ready to set off on a quest to discover the dark secret of Arendelle? Not so fast. First, listen to this bedtime story, and then a lullaby...

Iduna: (singing) There's a river...

...then get a crying song stuck in your head (Elsa hears a wail in the distance), then everyone just kind of meets up for a hang, then a song about how every minute brings us closer to death...

Anna: (singing) And we're all getting older...

...then-- Wow, we're still not off on a quest yet? O-Okay. I guess we have time for a full game of charades, then just one more lullaby...

Anna/Elsa: (singing) Sleep, my darlings...

...and now we'll set off on a quest! Phew! Frozen I managed to fit all the plot and character setup into one song, with time left over to build a snowman.

When our heroes finally get their ices in gear, they'll go explore the enchanted forest known as... the Enchanted Forest, a hidden world full of cutting-edge particle effects and dull rejects from Avatar: The Last Airbender. There, they'll learn the dark truth about Arendelle: long ago, they betrayed the indigenous people to the North, and by "long ago", I mean "Grandpa did it!"

Elsa: Grandfather...?

But if you think this is setting up some hard choices, or sacrifice, or even commentary on historical injustice, it isn't! Everything's just fine! Who else was in on the plot? Did the people to the North want revenge? Shut up! Elsa's got a water horse now!

So strap in for a brand-new Frozen that could get sued by Thor: Ragnarok if Disney didn't already own everything... (shows clips comparing Frozen II to Thor: Ragnarok)

(simultaneous scenes of Thor & Loki / Anna & Elsa)
Anna (to Elsa): We do this together, okay?

(simultaneous scenes of Asgard/Arendelle's true past being revealed)
Hela: Has no one been taught our history? / Odin and I drowned entire civilizations in blood and tears.
Olaf: But that goes against everything Arendelle stands for...

Korg (shown next to the Earth Giants): Well, I'm made of rocks, as you can see.

...that seems to know it's less interesting or fun than the first one, so most of the run-time is spent reminiscing about it.

Young Anna: (whispering) Let's make a big snowman.

Olaf: When you pretend to be Kristoff, and you're, like, "I just need to go talk to some rocks about my childhood!"

Anna: I climbed to the North Mountain, survived a frozen heart, and saved you from my ex-boyfriend.

Olaf: Two sisters, one born with magical powers, one born powerless.

Mattias: What did happen to your parents?

Anna: Their ship went down in the Southern Sea six years ago.

Elsa's Memory: (singing) Here I stand!

Elsa: Do you want to build a snowman?

And if you're expecting song parodies at this point, inspiration didn't really strike twice for this movie, and it didn't for us either, so just go scream "Into the Unknown" as loud as you can until you pass out. You get the gist.

Elsa: (singing) Into the unkn--

Michael Scott: NOOO!!!

Starring: Frosty the Sidekick (Josh Gad as Olaf); The Last Black Man in Arrendale (sic) (Sterling K. Brown as Mattias); They Look Like Big, Strong Hands Don't They (Earth Giants); Toothless (Fire Spirit); Norwegian Rhapsody (Jonathan Groff as Kristoff, singing a song with his reindeer); The Best Friend From a Rom Com That Plays Basketball with the Male Lead (Jason Ritter as Ryder); The Blink and You'll Miss It Gay Character That Disney Will Pat Itself on the Back About (Rachel Matthews as Honeymaren); Kid Sister! Kid Sister! Wherever I Froze Sheee Goes (Kristen Bell as Anna); and The Fifth Element (Idina Menzel as Elsa).

Rise of Icewalker

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The honest title for Frozen II was 'Rise of Icewalker'. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Wow, Olaf’s only three years old, and he’s already doing observational comedy.

Anna: ”Every Arendellian ship has a compartment, waterproof.”

Olaf: “That’s very clever, although it does make me wonder why they don’t just make the whole ship waterproof.” [edit Olaf with brick wall, a microphone, and play the theme for Seinfeld]

Viewer's Comments Edit

Please say: "Take me to your leader or Robert Downey Jr, depending on whose nearest" - Morten U.

Say: "THE FOREMOST, WORLD-RENOWNED, INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL OF LUCHAAAAAAAA!!!" - Andrew Hease

Say this in memory of Kirk Douglas: "I am Spartacus." - Donnie Huynh

Trivia Edit

  • The last comment on the viewer's comments pays tribute to Golden Age star Kirk Douglas, father of Michael Douglas, who passed away on February 5, 2020 at the incredible age of 103.

Reception Edit

Production Credits Edit

Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy

Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris

Produced by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, & Max Dionne

Edited by: Kevin Williamsen

Post-Production Supervisor: Kevin Williamsen

Production Coordinator: Ryan O'Toole

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