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Game of Thrones Vol. 3 is the 303rd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies seasons 6-8 of the fantasy TV show Game of Thrones. The video is 10 minutes 7 seconds long, making it the longest episode of the series ever. It was published on July 9, 2019, shortly after the conclusion of season 8 of the show. It has been viewed over 1.3 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Game of Thrones Vol. 3 on YouTube

"Say goodbye to the complex heroes that you loved, and say hello to their one-dimensional lookalikes." ~ Honest Trailers - Game of Thrones Vol. 3

Script Edit

It was the highest rated show of its era. The most talked about pop culture event of the decade. And by the end of its final seasons, one of the biggest letdowns in TV history? [Tyrion: "All hail Bran the Broken, Protector of the Realm."] Uh-oh...

Game of Thrones, season 6-8. [Price is Right sad, deflated horn sound effect]

The show based on George R. R. Martin's doorstop novels returns. But since they already burned through those, they're going off an outline. And boy, does it feel that way! Where after one mixed season that still pulled off some major highs [The Sept of Baelor explodes in wildfire], the last two shortened ones scrambled to tie everything up real quick [Ayra stabs the Night King. He shatters into ice] because the show-runners either got bored, burnt out, or bitter that no one liked their slavery idea [News headline reads: The Push To Cancel HBO's New 'Confederate' Series Grows.]. Featuring huge revelations that never really pay off [Sam (to Jon): "You're the true King." Tyrion (to Jon): "So our new King has chosen to send you to the Night's Watch."]; relationships that took years to develop turning on a dime [Brienne (to Jaime): "Stay with me." She sobs.]; and characters who straight up forgot their best friends [Jon walks away from Ghost, without patting him goodbye], or forgot they had magic shape-shifting powers [Arya] or forgot who they're at war with [David Benioff: "Dany kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet."] [Record scratch] She forgot?! Forgot the biggest navy is Westeros existed?? Admit it! This whole show is an elaborate plot for you to meet Ed Sheeran [Ed Sheeran sings: "Woman's hands are warm." Arya: "It's a pretty song."]

Winter has come to King's Landing, so they moved the entire city to the desert? [Shots comparing King's Landings location in earlier seasons (alongside tree-covered hills) with its location in season 8 - in a flat, desolate plain.] There, our main players will finally collide to see who will sit on the Iron Throne. Will the reign of Queen Cersei continue? Or will she just stare out the window? Will Daenerys continue her surgical attacks against the ruling class? Or will she 420 blaze the world when her nephew won't give the the 'D' no more? [Daenerys: "Let it be fear." Riding Drogon, Daenerys decimates the entire city of King's Landing and all its inhabitants with fire]. Will Jon Snow do... anything...? [Jon: "My watch has ended." "I'm tired of fightin'." "I never wanted a crown." "I don't want it." "I never wanted it." "I told you I don't want it." "I don't want it. I never have."]. No. The winner at the end of it all is the character with the best story. [Tyrion: "And who has a better story than Bran the Broken?"] (Flabbergasted) Bran?! F****** Bran?! The creepy ass kid??!! How about like, literally anyone else? [Shots of Melisandre, Hotpie, and Ghost] (Exhales) It's okay Epic Voice Guy. Remember it's just a trailer. You gotta hype it up. Gotta sell the show. Sell the show! (Inhales sharply)

Say goodbye to the complex heroes you've come to love, and say hello to their one-dimensional lookalikes! like Varys, butt of the dick joke [Tyrion (to Varys): "If I lost my c***, I'd drink all the time." "I don't think a c*** is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree." "You should consider yourself lucky, at least your balls won't freeze off." "Because you have no c***."]; Littlefinger, Lord of that one balcony in Winterfell, or the Arya Stark reunion tour [Clips showing Arya reunite with Sansa, Bran, Jon, Hotpie, Nymeria, Gendry, Melisandre and the Hound.]. While the show's reliably great villains backslide from the Joffrey-esque Ramsay Bolton; to the mysterious Night King, who, after all your fan theories, really just was some dude the Keebler elves stabbed to a tree; to this soggy pick-up artist who stole the dragon's plot armor for himself [Euron Greyjoy: "Have to be honest, this is making me hard."]. Argh! What Tim Burton movie is this dork from? I'd take a dozen High Sparrow lectures over more of the emo Pringles guy! [Clips of the High Sparrow delivering many, many dry lectures]. Uhh, okay... nevermind [Tommen Baratheon falls face-first from a window].

But screw characters, because Game of Thrones can still deliver some amazing visual spectacles -- as soon as you remember how to crank the brightness on your TV! [Brightness increases] There we go! From the claustrophobic terror of the Battle of the Bastards, to the ground level chaos of the Battle of King's Landing, to eight guys waiting for help on a frozen pond! [Characters wait in silence. Jon (about a corpse): "We have to burn his body." Beren lights his flaming sword with magic]. Oh, now you use the fire sword (!). Rest assured that in the later seasons, everything will look awesome and no one you really care about is going to die. [Clips of main characters in terrifyingly perilous situations.] They'll be fine! [The characters survive with barely a scratch on them] See! Good as new!

So lick your wounds for the show that managed to both limp and sprint to the finish line. Just hold the door on giving it crap for not ending the way you thought - they can't please everybody! Or for characters teleporting around - they all had to converge at some point! Or even all the huge strategic blunders - mistakes aren't the same as plot holes! No. Be grateful for a show that's give us the last communal experience in our divided world: crapping on the finals seasons of Game of Thrones, together! Aww! Gonna miss you dumb show! Go on! Get out of here! Go on!! I don't need you! (Sobbing). [Headline reads: HBO's apparently working on three 'Game of Thrones' spinoffs, says George R. R. Martin] No, I'm not gonna watch the spinoffs! You crazy?!

Starring:

  • Hack Sparrow [Euron Greyjoy];
  • A Lannister Always Looks on the Bright Side [Tyrion Lannister: "I think we might live." "I'm here to help." "Surely there's some good news lurking somewhere." "You should both be happy as well."];
  • Mortal Stickfight! [Arya Stark and the Waif fight with wooden staffs];
  • Yas My Queen [Greyworm: "I am loyal to my Queen." "I obey my Queen's commands." "I kill the Queen's enemies."];
  • The New Prince of Dorne, I Guess? I Don't Know, It Doesn't F*cking Matter [Random Dornish Guy at the Final Meeting];
  • Snoke [The Night King];
  • Harry Strickland?! What kind of name is 'Harry Strickland' in a fantasy world? Harry Strickland sells propane and propane accessories;
  • Alright, our next comedian, you might have seen him north of the wall... Give It Up For Tormund Giantsbane [Tormund: "Now, which one of you cowards s*** in my pants?" (canned laughter) "I saw your pecker, what kind of God would have a pecker than small?" (canned laughter) "You weigh as much as two flees f******." (canned laughter) Eddison Tollett: "Stay back, he's got blue eyes!" Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!" (canned laughter) Tormund ogles Brienne (canned laughter)];
  • Fan Service [Davos Seaworth (to Gendry): "Thought you might still be rowing."/ The Hound faces The Mountain at Cleganebowl. Excited air horn blast!];
  • Craft Service [Starbucks coffee cup on the table at Winterfell];
  • You're Just gonna Murder Me? On This Murder Show?? [Various characters are stabbed];
  • Shippers [Multiple shots of characters staring out to sea, looking at boats/ships/fleets];
  • Good Boy. Who's a Good Boy? We'd Never Forget You, My Good Widdle Pup [Jon Snow pats Ghost];
  • Less Nudity Than Ever, But Still... [Montage of naked people, covered in black bars. Melisandre reveals her true form, old and haggard.] Ahh! No one wants to see that! [Censored male nudity] Or that! [Censored Arya Stark nudity] And definitely not that! We've known her since she was fourteen, you sickos!;
  • Trying To Impress Your Impossible to Impress Dad [Clips showing Yara, Ramsey and Sam disappointing their respective fathers];
  • Do We Have The Men? [Clips of various character saying: "We don't have the men"/"We need more men."/"We don't have the numbers."];
  • Everything Characters Have Ever Done Wrong [Tyrion: "I strangled my lover, I shot my own father with a crossbow, I betrayed my queen." Jaime: "I pushed a boy out of a tower window, crippled him for life. I strangled my cousin with my own hands." Melisandre: "We burned her at the stake." Cersei: "I made a terrible mistake." Littlefinger: "I made a mistake. A horrible mistake. I underestimated a stranger." The Hound: "You don't know the things I've done." Olenna Tyrell: "I did unspeakable things." Jon: "I've done plenty of things that I regret." Theon: "Not compared to me you haven't."];
  • and Kit Hairline [Shot of Kit Harrington's widow's peak]. I mean Harrington. Damn, I'm never doing to unsee that!
Honest Trailers Game of Thrones Vol 3 Open Invideo 9-37 screenshot

The honest title for Game of Thrones Vol 3 was 'A Slog of Ice and Fire.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

A Slog of Ice and Fire

I don't care how many people Dany lights on fire, The Hound will always have the sickest burns.

Thoros: "You're getting old, Clegane."

The Hound: "He's not." (He pulls the support out from underneath a man hanging by a noose)

Trivia Edit

Honest Trailers Commentary - Game of Thrones Vol 3

Honest Trailers Commentary - Game of Thrones Vol 3

  • There are also episodes of Honest Trailers about Game of Thrones Season 1 - 3, and Game of Thrones Season 4 - 5.
  • This video marked 5 years of motion graphics artist Robert Holtby created honest titles for the series.
  • Starting with this episode, Honest Trailers Commentaries was moved to the Screen Junkies channel, Wednesdays at 10am PST.
  • The writers had a range of opinions on Game of Thrones' final season. For example, head writer Spencer Gilbert thought season 8 ruined the show for him, while writer Lon Harris was largely positive towards it.
  • One of the deleted jokes was a run that showed clips of the actors unenthusiastically describing the ending of the show in interviews. The writers chose to shorten this run because the trailer was running long, then decided to cut it entirely because the shortened version didn't have the same impact without proper context.
  • In the Honest Trailer Commentary for Batman Returns, writer/producer Dan Murrell speculated on why this video had a relatively low view count (It has roughly the same number of views as the Wild Wild West Honest Trailer, despite being significantly more popular). Dan pointed out that the video was demonetized by YouTube for its adult content and he theorized this means the algorithm recommends it to fewer people.

Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube

 Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Game of Thrones Vol. 3 has a 98.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Reviews for this Honest Trailer were universally positive, with many media critics highlighting Screen Junkies' harsh take on the show. Megan McCluskey of Time said the Honest Trailer "pulls no punches with this epic takedown." Douglas Charles of BroBible said the video "eviscerates" the show and that it was "almost painful to watch if you were one of those many fans who were disappointed by the final season of the show." Rudi Kinsella of Joe.ie called the Honest Trailer "painfully true" and said Screen Junkies' take was "quite damning." Kinsella even suggested that the video's narration might be "a bit too real to even be considered parody." David Hookstead described the Honest Trailer as "outstanding."

Ariba Bhuvad of Winter is Coming called the video "hilarious." Digg wrote that the Honest Trailer "really hammers home how crappy the show became." Sandy Schaefer of Screen Rant noted "As the Honest Trailer points out, Game of Thrones' storytelling changed significantly once the show eclipsed George R.R. Martin's published A Song of Ice and Fire books at the beginning of season 6. Where the first five seasons were meticulous (sometimes too much so) in the way they drew from Martin's novels to develop character arcs and plot threads, the last three seasons had little more than a outline to work from and began to increasingly rush the story along."

 Production credits Edit

Honest trailer game of thrones vol 3

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Game of Thrones Vol 3.

Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey

Title Design by Robert Holtby

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris

Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne

Edited by Kevin Williamsen

External links Edit

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