Hook is the 256th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies 1991 American fantasy adventure film Hook. It was published on July 31, 2018 to coincide with the theatrical release of Disney family film Christopher Robin, which is also about a character from a beloved children series re-connecting with his fantasy world as an adult. It is 5 minutes 9 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Hook on YouTube
"A sexually charged, violent movie about a mid-life crisis that takes 2 hours to really get going." ~ Honest Trailers - Hook
Script[]
Before you watch Winnie the Pooh force a sad, middle-aged Christopher Robin back to the Hundred-Acre Woods, Steven Spielberg had every 90's kid wondering: What if Tinkerbell forced a sad, middle-aged Peter Pan back to Neverland? (Tinkerbell: "I can see why you have trouble finding a happy thought. So many sad memories.") Er-er-er-er-aw [sad crowing].
Hook
Gather around for Spielberg's least favorite Spielberg movie (Spielberg: "I wanna see Hook again because I still don't like that movie.") even though it's the best film in the entire Peter Pantheon, where by best, we mean least racist [Racist depictions of Native Americans in Peter Pan (1953)], most memorable (Wendy in Peter Pan (2003): "Peter, come back! PETER!"), and containing the fewest covers of Smells Like Teen Spirit. (Pirates in Pan (2015): ♫ Here we are now! Entertain us! ♫) Someday, I'll actually watch Pan to find out why that's in there, but today is not that day.
Meet Peter Banning, professional cell-phone-haver. He's Robin Williams like you've never wanted to see him before: grumpy (Peter Banning: "I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!"), angry (Peter Banning: "Would everybody just SHUT UP?!") and completely shaved from head to toe [Montage of shirtless Peter Banning]. Eugh! Glad they cut the scene where the Lost Boys went all 40-Year-Old Virgin on his chest (Steve Carrell: (getting his chest waxed) "D'AAAAH, KELLY CLARKSON!"). When his kids get taken off to Neverland, Peter Banning will have to become Peter Pan again... at the 100-minute mark of a 140-minute movie. How was I that patient as a kid?
Enter a spellbinding version of our own world where the Peter Pan stories are all fiction (Old Wendy: "Mr. Barrie, well, Sir James, he wrote them all down in a book 80 years ago."), except they're not because they're all based on historical events. (Old Wendy: "The stories are true.") Except for that one shot where they imply that everything was all a dream? (Smee as a sweeper in the real world: "Hello.") What? And if that's not confusing enough, enjoy a family dynamic where Wendy has always had a crush on Peter (Old Wendy: (softly stroking Peter's face) "No other girl held your favor the way I did."); but then, she adopted him as her own grandson after he kissed her granddaughter on the lips while she slept and she still clearly has the hots for him.
[Old Wendy touches Peter's vest and leans in seductively] Peter Banning: "Grandma?"
That is so Bangawrong.
Head for the second star to the right and straight onto morning to the saddest place you can imagine: Neverland, a prison island in a state of perpetual war infested by a pirate army that's suicidally depressed? (Hook: (holding a gun to his head) "Don't try to stop me, Smee." Smee: "Oh, not again.") Yikes! But there's also the Lost Boys (Peter Banning: "BANGARANG!" Lost Boys: "BANGARANG!") a tribe of tweenage murderers who are probably starving to death on imaginary food, and can't hide the fact that after an eternity of battle, they're all broken children desperate for some structure and guidance. (Thud Butt: "Do you remember your father, Peter?" Rufio: "I wish I had a dad... like you.") OK, how did I think this movie was fun when I was a kid? Was I that blinded by Rufio's half-shirted triple hawk? (Lost Boys: "Rufio, Rufio, Ru-fi-o!") Oh, yeah, he's still the best.
So strap in for a movie that if you're over 30, you probably have really fond memories of because you focus on the incredible Hoffman performance (Hook: "I like it, I like it!"), the amazing production design, and your unconditional love for Robin Williams. But when you revisit it as an adult or were born after 1990, you'll realize it's a sexually charged, violent movie about a mid-life crisis that takes 2 hours to really get going. [Rufio gets stabbed through the chest] But you know, for kids! Yay!
Starring: [Robin Williams as Peter Banning/Peter Pan] Robin Stood, Zen in Tights; [Peter Banning's stuntman falling repeatedly] Robin Williams' Poor Stunt Double; [Peter Banning kissing a mermaid] The Shape of Water; [Old Wendy] Maggie Smith as The Old Lady in Titanic; [Dante Basco as Rufio] Nothing But Respect for My Firelord; [Charlie Korsmo as Jackie Banning] I Can't Feel My Legs!; [Dustin Hoffman as Hook] I Heart Hookabees; [Matthew Van Ginkel as Baby Peter Pan] Peter's Pram; [Bob Hoskins as Smee] It's a Smee, Mario!; [Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell] Make My Tinker Bell Grow! HAHAHA!; and Random Cameos By... Gwyneth Paltrow (as young Wendy), David Crosby (as Tickles), Glenn Close (as Gutless), Jimmy Buffett (as shoe-stealing pirate (uncredited)) and (mouth mumbling drum sound effects) [Phil Collins as Inspector Good] ♬ I Can Phil It Collins In The Air Tonight, uh-huh ♪.
Shudder Island
OK, I'm just gonna throw this out there, but where are Micheal and John? Toodles, did you kill them?
Toodles: "I've lost my marbles."
[Threatening music plays]
Trivia []
- Screen Junkies writers all remember liking Hook as children, but found it overlong and depressing when they re-watched it for this Honest Trailer.
- This Honest Trailer features a hidden Alan raptor at 1:44. The raptor's shadow can be seen in the blanket fort.
- Screen Junkies have also made an Honest Trailer for the 1953 animated version of Peter Pan.
- Screen Junkies have also produced several Honest Trailers for many 1990s movies including Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros., Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie, Space Jam, Batman Forever, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, Fight Club, The Matrix, The Lion King, Toy Story, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park and others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Hook has a 97.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Honest Trailer was praised for highlighting how beloved childhood movies can take on new, unfortunate meanings when re-visited by adults who grew up with them. Moviefone praised Screen Junkies for pointing out "some awkward truths" about the movie when re-examined with an adult eye. Geek Tyrant noted that this Honest Trailer "doesn't necessarily bash the movie, just makes amusing observations."
Production credits[]
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Producers - Max Dionne, Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert & Joe Starr
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand
External links[]
- 'Hook' Honest Trailer Highlights the Danger of Re-Watching the Film - Moviefone article
- Hook Isn’t as Childishly Delightful as You Remember It in New Honest Trailer - The Mary Sue article
- Honest Trailer For HOOK - Steven Spielberg's Least Favorite Steven Spielberg Movie - Geek Tyrant article