Hook is the 256th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies 1991 American fantasy adventure film Hook. It was published on July 31, 2018, to coincide with the theatrical release of Disney family film Christopher Robin, which is also about a character from a beloved children series re-connecting with his fantasy world as an adult. It is 5 minutes 9 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Hook on YouTube
"When you revisit it as an adult, or were born after 1990, you'll realize it's a sexually charged, violent movie about a midlife crisis that takes two hours to really get going." ~ Honest Trailers - Hook
Script[]
Before you watch Winnie the Pooh force a sad, middle-aged Christopher Robin back to the Hundred Acre Woods (Christopher Robin), Steven Spielberg had every 90's kid wondering, "What if Tinker Bell forced a sad, middle-aged Peter Pan back to Neverland?"
Tinker Bell: I can see why you have trouble finding a happy thought. So many sad memories...
Er-er-er-er-aww...
Hook
Gather round for Spielberg's least favorite Spielberg movie...
Steven Spielberg: I want to see Hook again, because... I still don't like that movie.
...even though it's the best film in the entire Peter Pan-theon, where by "best", we mean "least racist"...
Indian Tribe (Peter Pan (1953)): (singing) When did he first say, "Ugh?"
..."most memorable"...
Wendy (Peter Pan (2003)): Peter, come back! PETEEER!!
...and "containing the fewest covers of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'".
Pirates (Pan (2015)): (singing) Here we are now! Entertain us!
Someday, I'll actually watch Pan to find out why that's in there, but today... is not that day.
Meet Peter Banning, professional cell phone-haver. (shows Peter participating in a "cell phone drawing" duel with Brad) He's Robin Williams like you've never wanted to see him before: grumpy...
Peter: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!!
...angry...
Peter: Will everybody just SHUT UP?!
...and completely shaved from head to toe. Eugh; glad they cut the scene where the Lost Boys went all 40-Year-Old Virgin on his chest.
Andy Stitzer (The 40-Year-Old Virgin): (while having his chest waxed) NOOO! KELLY CLARKSON!
When his kids get taken off to Neverland, Peter Banning will have to become Peter Pan again... at the 100-minute mark of a 140-minute movie. How was I that patient as a kid?
Enter a spellbinding version of our own world, where the Peter Pan stories are all fiction...
Wendy: --Mr. Barrie, well, Sir James, [...] he wrote them all down in a book [...] 80 years ago.
...except they're not, because they're all based on historical events...
Wendy: The stories are true.
...except for that one shot where they imply that everything was all a dream?
Street Sweeper: (to Peter as he awakens in London) Hello. Heh.
What? And if that's not confusing enough, enjoy a family dynamic where Wendy has always had a crush on Peter...
Wendy: (to Peter) --no other girl held your favor the way I did.
...but then, she adopted him as her own grandson... after he kissed her granddaughter on the lips while she slept, and she still clearly has the hots for him.
Peter: (to Wendy) Grandma?
That is so banga-wrong.
Head for the second star to the right and straight on till morning, to the saddest place you can imagine (shows Jack crying): Neverland, a prison island in a state of perpetual war, infested by a pirate army that's suicidally depressed...?
Hook: (holding a pistol to his head) Don't try to stop me, Smee.
Smee: Oh, not again.
Yikes! But there's also the Lost Boys...
Peter: BANGARAAAAANG!!!
Lost Boys: BANGARANG!
...a tribe of tweenage murderers, who are probably starving to death on imaginary food, and can't hide the fact that after an eternity of battle, they're all broken children desperate for some structure and guidance.
Thud Butt: Do you remember your mother, Peter?
Rufio: (dying, to Peter) I wish I had a dad... like you.
Okay, how did I think this movie was fun when I was a kid? Was I that blinded by Rufio's half-shirt and triple-hawk?
Lost Boys: (chanting) Rufio! Rufio! Ru-fi-o! (shows Rufio jumping off a wooden platform in front of Peter)
Oh, yeah; he's still the best.
So strap in for a movie that, if you're over 30, you probably have really fond memories of, because you focus on the incredible Hoffman performance...
Hook: ...I like it, I like it!
...the amazing production design, and your unconditional love for Robin Williams; but, when you revisit it as an adult, or were born after 1990, you'll realize it's a sexually charged, violent movie about a midlife crisis that takes two hours to really get going. (shows Hook stabbing Rufio, mortally wounding him) But, you know, for kids! Yay!
Starring: Robin Stood, Zen in Tights (Robin Williams as Peter Banning/Peter Pan); Robin Williams' Poor Stunt Double (montage of Peter falling in dangerous situations); The Shape of Water (shows Peter kissing a mermaid); Maggie Smith as the Old Lady in Titanic (Maggie Smith as Wendy Darling); Nothing But Respect for MY Firelord (Dante Basco as Rufio); I Can't Feel My Legs! (Charlie Korsmo as Jack Banning, alongside his role as William Lichter in Can't Hardly Wait); I Heart Hookabees (Dustin Hoffman as Captain James Hook); Peter's Pram (Matthew Van Ginkel as Baby Peter Pan); It's a Smee, Mario! (Bob Hoskins as William Smee); Make My Tinker Bell Grow! Hahaha! (Julia Roberts as Tinker Bell)...
Tinker Bell: (after growing to human size, destroying her clock house in the process) Oh, dear me!
...and Random Cameos By... Gwyneth Paltrow (as Teenage Wendy Darling); David Crosby (as Tickles); Glenn Close (as Gutless); Jimmy Buffett (as Shoe-Stealing Pirate); and... (mumbles drum machine sounds) I Can Phil It Collins In the Air Tonight, Oh Lord (Phil Collins as Inspector Good).
Shudder Island
Honest title for Hook - Shudder Island. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Okay, I'm just going to throw this out there, but where are Michael and John? Tootles, did you kill them?
Tootles: I've lost my marbles. (close-up, fade to red, sinister sting)
Trivia []
Honest Trailers Commentary - Hook
- Screen Junkies writers all remember liking Hook as children, but found it overlong and depressing when they re-watched it for this Honest Trailer.
- This Honest Trailer features a hidden Alan raptor at 1:44. The raptor's shadow can be seen in the blanket fort.
- Screen Junkies have also made an Honest Trailer for the 1953 animated version of Peter Pan.
- Screen Junkies have also produced several Honest Trailers for many 1990s movies including Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros., Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie, Space Jam, Batman Forever, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, Fight Club, The Matrix, The Lion King, Toy Story, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park and others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Hook has a 97.0% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Honest Trailer was praised for highlighting how beloved childhood movies can take on new, unfortunate meanings when re-visited by adults who grew up with them. Moviefone praised Screen Junkies for pointing out "some awkward truths" about the movie when re-examined with an adult eye. Geek Tyrant noted that this Honest Trailer "doesn't necessarily bash the movie, just makes amusing observations."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Hook
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Producers - Max Dionne, Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert & Joe Starr
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand
External links[]
- 'Hook' Honest Trailer Highlights the Danger of Re-Watching the Film - Moviefone article
- Hook Isn’t as Childishly Delightful as You Remember It in New Honest Trailer - The Mary Sue article
- Honest Trailer For HOOK - Steven Spielberg's Least Favorite Steven Spielberg Movie - Geek Tyrant article