Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck is the 292nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1986 Marvel comic book movie Howard the Duck. The video is 4 minutes 5 seconds long. It was published on April 23, 2019, to coincide with the theatrical release of Avengers: Endgame. It has been viewed over 1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck on YouTube
"It's okay, Howard; we don't want to be here either!" ~ Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck
Script []
Before Marvel wraps up a decade of storytelling in Endgame, go back to where their movies began. (shows Tony Stark using his suit's flamethrower on terrorists in Iron Man) Nope, before that. (shows Blade and one of Deacon Frost's minions repeatedly spin-kicking the air around each other in Blade) Even earlier.
Captain America (Captain America (1990)): Mr. President! (gives a thumbs-up) Thanks.
Getting warmer...
Howard: (looking at the pinup in an issue of Playduck) Mmm-hmm. My little airbrushed beauty.
Yep... There it is.
Howard the Duck
Experience the first feature-length film based on a Marvel comic, that, in a weird way, set the stage for things to come, featuring their first sky beam (shows sky beams in both this film and The Avengers), first forgettable alien villain (shows the Dark Overlord in this film and Malekith the Accursed in Thor: The Dark World), and first alcoholic, womanizing hero. (shows Howard in this film and Tony Stark in Iron Man) Really, the only reason it failed is because they got everything else wrong; so very, very wrong...
Howard: (howls)
Beverly: Howard, you really are the worst!
Howard: (chuckles)
Suit up with Howard; just don't look too hard at the suit, because it's extremely janky.
Howard: (while being manhandled by two policemen) About when they can rev up that machine and send me back home.
When he's plucked from Duckworld and sent to Cleveland's glam rock district, he'll embark on an epic quest... to complain about whatever's in front of him...
Howard: Talk about a rotten day! / Oh! Now, I'm really depressed.
...while outside forces literally drag him through the whole movie against his will.
Howard: (while Beverly drags him inside a trash bag) Oh! Ow!
Beverly: Howard, this isn't working!
Man: (as he and a crowd of people carry Howard across a diner) --you stupid little bird!
(shows Howard getting spun in the air by Jenning)
Howard: (as he gets his leg snagged by the Dark Overlord's tongue) Aaugh! Help! / (as he is lifted into the air on a lighting rig) Whoa! Philsie, what's going on?!
It's okay, Howard; we don't want to be here either!
But this duck won't fly alone; prepare for an ensemble film where every character can be described as "the dumb one", featuring Tim Robbins as the entire cast of Big Bang Theory at once...
Phil: (laughs maniacally) It's nothing! Never mind! (chuckles)
...and Beverly, the girl who's down to experiment, no matter how wrong it feels...
Beverly: You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Ducky?
...because aside from the fact that she's trading food and shelter for sex...
Howard: I've got a headache.
Beverly: And I got the aspirin.
...ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises, that extend the length of their entire bodies.
Carter: (while watching Howard and Beverly about to have sex) This relationship, it... defies all the laws of nature.
And physics?
But this isn't a serious film meant to be analyzed; it's a goofy comedy, and on that level... it's also terrible, because whatever problems you may have with the MCU's quips, it's nothing compared to the relentless barrage of duck puns.
Howard: Seeing-eye duck!
Trucker: What's this? The key to your Duckmobile?
Howard: --great Duck in Heaven... / No one laughs at a master of quack fu!
So... (shows an issue of Playduck) many... (shows signs for "Webber's Discount Records & Tapes" and "Club Mallard") ducking... (shows an issue of Rolling Egg) puns! (shows a poster for Splashdance) Man, these are fowl! (scoffs) Crap; now they've got me doing it! Motherducker!
So settle in for what should have been a superpowered team-up between Marvel Comics and George Lucas (shows a credit reading "George Lucas Presents") -- Yep, that George Lucas. -- that was such a disaster, it snapped Marvel movies out of existence for a decade, and forced George to sell the animation division of Lucasfilm (an Uncle John's Blog post with the title "Fabulous Flop: How Howard the Duck Changed Hollywood" pops up, highlighting how the film's financial failure forced Lucas to sell Lucasfilm's computer animation division to his friend, Steve Jobs), that would go on to become Pixar. So hey, even if this duck sucked, at least it gave us a Woody! (chuckles) I'm sorry; this--this is what happens when you watch Howard the Duck more than once, guys.
Howard: Thanks. But once was plenty.
Starring: Snarkwing Duck (Ed Gale and Chip Zien as Howard the Duck); Madonn-Ugh (Lea Thompson as Beverly Switzler); Neil Dumbass Tyson (Tim Robbins as Phil Blumburtt); Ferris Bueller Ducks Off (Jeffrey Jones as Dr. Walter Jenning, Virginia Capers as Coramae, and Richard Edson as Ritchie); Duckie Rubber, You're the One (shows Beverly finding a condom in Howard's wallet); and Whoever Wrote This Screenplay.
Punk: I've been doing too much toot!
Duck Fails! Woo-oo!
The honest title for Howard the Duck was 'Duck Fails'. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
(shows Howard playing a solo on an electric guitar)
"Marvin Berry": Chuck! It's your cousin, Marvin Berry! You know that new sound you're looking for?! This definitely isn't it!
(shows Howard rocking out some more)
Trivia[]
Honest Trailers Commentary - Howard the Duck
- Some fans wanted the Honest Trailers writing team to tackle the 1998 spy film The Avengers, because it has the same title as the MCU's Avengers series. The writers conceded that film would have been SEO friendly, but decided they would have more fun satirizing Howard the Duck. The team have already made Honest Trailers for every other Marvel feature film, including every installment of the MCU, the Blade trilogy, and Captain America (1990). See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- This is not the first time Epic Voice Guy has demonstrated a highly developed understanding of animal anatomy and reproduction. In addition to knowing that duck penises are corkscrew shaped and extend to the entire length of their bodies, he has also commented on the breeding patterns of lions in The Lion King, highlighted the fact that turtle penises are half the length of their bodies in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pointed out that clown fish are protandrous hermaphrodites that can change sex before mating in Finding Nemo, and noted that eels build eggs nests out of their own saliva in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It is unclear where Epic Voice Guy obtained his extensive knowledge about animal reproduction.
- During the accompanying episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers attempted to rank anthropomorphic ducks according to whether they world have sex with them (Daffy ranked higher than Howard because he doesn't wear pants "so he's ready to go."). They also proposed how to seduce a duck - put on something feathery and throw bread at it.
- The writers had a serious debate about whether they would need to censor the duck boobs in the trailer to avoid YouTube demonetization. Ultimately, they decided it was funnier if they did.
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other truly terrible films including The Room, The Last Airbender, After Earth, The Happening, Captain America (1990), Catwoman, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Gotti, and many others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the fill Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck has a 97.8% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer was "pretty damn funny." The Awesomer described it as "scathingly funny." CBR.com appreciated the Honest Trailer for playfully putting the film in the context of Marvel's later successes, noting, "as the Honest Trailers narrator explains, Howard the Duck set the stage for the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. After all, the film featured Marvel's 'first sky beam; first forgettable alien villain; and first alcoholic, womanizing hero.' The problem, as the trailer states, is 'they got everything else wrong.'" MOE Lane appreciated Screen Junkies' decision to tackle the film, writing, "Sometimes we don’t appreciate the horrors that Honest Trailers has to view. Multiple times. Just to make us laugh."
Production Credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck.
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, & Lon Harris
Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne
Edited by Kevin Williamsen
External links[]
- Howard the Duck Honest Trailer Stakes Claim as the First Marvel Movie - CBR.com article
- An Honest Trailer for Howard the Duck - Neatorama article
- The Howard the Duck Honest Trailer. - MOE Lane article
- ‘Howard the Duck’ Honest Trailer: The First Marvel Comics Movie Was Truly Fowl - SlashFilm article
- Howard the Duck Honest Trailer - The Awesomer article
- HOWARD THE DUCK Finally Gets an Honest Trailer - Geek Tyrant article