Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck is the 292nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1986 Marvel comic book movie Howard the Duck. The video is 4 minutes 5 seconds long. It was published on April 23, 2019, to coincide with the theatrical release of Avengers: Endgame. It has been viewed over 1 million times.
"It's okay, Howard. We don't want to be here either." ~ Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck
Jon Bailey: Before Marvel wraps up a decade of storytelling in Endgame, go back to where their movies began.
[2008 - clip shows Iron Man Mach I using flamethrowers in Iron Man]
Nope, before that.
[1998 - clip shows action scenes from Blade]
[1990 - shows clip from Captain America (1990)]
Captain America (Matt Salinger): "Mr. President, thanks." [Cap gives a big thumbs up]
[1986 - clip shows Howard looking at a photo of ”Miss October”, a duck centerfold with her bare breasts blurred out.]
Howard The Duck: "Mm-Hm. My little airbrushed beauty."
Yep. There it is.
Howard the Duck
Experience the first feature-length film based on a Marvel comic. That in a weird way, set the stage for things to come. Featuring, their first sky beam, first forgettable alien villain and first alcoholic womanizing hero. Really, the only reason it failed is because they got everything else wrong. So very, VERY wrong.
[A long snake-like appendage comes out of Jeffrey Jones' mouth]
[Howard makes a howling noise "Ayooooo!"]
Beverly Switzler: (flirtatiously, while in bed) "Howard, you really are the worst!"
Suit up with Howard. Just, don’t look too hard at the suit. Because, it’s extremely janky.
Howard: "How about when they can rev up that machine and send me back home!"
When he’s plucked from Duck World and sent Cleveland’s glam rock district, he’ll embark on an epic quest to complain about whatever’s in front of him.
Howard: "Talk about a rotten day." "Oh, now I’m really depressed."
While outside forces literally drag him through the whole movie against his will. [shows clips of Howard being dragged in everything "Help!" "What's going on?!"] It’s okay, Howard. We don’t want to be here either.
But, this duck won’t fly alone. Prepare for an ensemble film where every character can be described as “The Dumb One”, featuring Tim Robbins as the entire cast of Big Bang Theory at once.
Phil Blumburtt: [laughs hysterically] "It’s nothing! Never mind!"
And Beverly, the girl whose down to experiment. No matter how wrong it feels.
Beverly: "You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, ducky?"
Because aside from the fact she’s trading food and shelter for sex,
Howard: (in bed) "I’ve got a headache."
Beverly: (caressing his face) "And I’ve got the aspirin."
Ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises that extend the lengths of their entire bodies.
[Beverly pulls out an unwrapped condom from a wallet]
Scientist: "This relationship, it defies all the laws of nature."
But, this isn’t a serious film meant to be analyzed. It’s a goofy comedy, and on that level, it’s also terrible. Because whatever problems you have with the MCU’s quips, it’s nothing compared to the relentless barrage of duck puns! [shows clips of people making duck puns: "Seeing-eye duck." "Duck-mobile." "Oh great duck in heaven." "Master of quack fu." ] SO. MANY. DUCKING. PUNS. Man, these are fowl! [sigh] Crap, now they’ve got me doing it! Mother-ducker!
So settle in for what should have been a superpowered team-up between Marvel Comics and George Lucas. [shows C-3PO from Star Wars] Yup, that George Lucas. That was such a disaster, it snapped Marvel movies out of existence for a decade And forced George to sell the animation division of Lucasfilm that would go on to become Pixar. So, hey. Even if this duck sucked, at least they gave us a Woody. [Laugh] I’m sorry, th-this is what happens when you watch Howard the Duck more than once, guys.
Howard: "Thanks, but once was plenty."
Starring: [Chip Zien as Howard the Duck] Snarkwing Duck; [Lea Thompson as Beverly Switzler] Madonn-ugh; [Tim Robbins as Phil Blumburtt] Neil Dumbass Tyson; [shows the cast of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off] Ferris Bueller Ducks Off; [shows the condom again] Duckie Rubber, You’re The One; And Whoever Wrote The Screenplay.
Biker Guy: "I’ve been doin' too much toot."
Duck Fails Woo-oo!
[shows Howard playing electric guitar on stage, intercut with a clip from Back to the Future] Chuck! It’s your cousin Marvin Barry! You know that new sound you looking for?! This definitely isn’t it!
- Some fans wanted the Honest Trailers writing team to tackle the 1998 spy film The Avengers, because it has the same title as the MCU's Avengers series. The writers conceded that film would have been SEO friendly, but decided they would have more fun satirizing Howard the Duck. The team have already made Honest Trailers for every other Marvel feature film, including every installment of the MCU, the Blade trilogy, and Captain America (1990). See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- This is not the first time Epic Voice Guy has demonstrated a highly developed understanding of animal anatomy and reproduction. In addition to knowing that duck penises are corkscrew shaped and extend to the entire length of their bodies, he has also commented on the breeding patterns of lions in The Lion King, highlighted the fact that turtle penises are half the length of their bodies in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pointed out that clown fish are protandrous hermaphrodites that can change sex before mating in Finding Nemo, and noted that eels build eggs nests out of their own saliva in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It is unclear where Epic Voice Guy obtained his extensive knowledge about animal reproduction.
- During the accompanying episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers attempted to rank anthropomorphic ducks according to whether they world have sex with them (Daffy ranked higher than Howard because he doesn't wear pants "so he's ready to go."). They also proposed how to seduce a duck - put on something feathery and throw bread at it.
- The writers had a serious debate about whether they would need to censor the duck boobs in the trailer to avoid YouTube demonetization. Ultimately, they decided it was funnier if they did.
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other truly terrible films including The Room, The Last Airbender, After Earth, The Happening, Captain America (1990), Catwoman, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Gotti, and many others. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Honest Trailers - Howard the Duck has a 97.8% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer was "pretty damn funny." The Awesomer described it as "scathingly funny." CBR.com appreciated the Honest Trailer for playfully putting the film in the context of Marvel's later successes, noting, "as the Honest Trailers narrator explains, Howard the Duck set the stage for the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. After all, the film featured Marvel's 'first sky beam; first forgettable alien villain; and first alcoholic, womanizing hero.' The problem, as the trailer states, is 'they got everything else wrong.'" MOE Lane appreciated Screen Junkies' decision to tackle the film, writing, "Sometimes we don’t appreciate the horrors that Honest Trailers has to view. Multiple times. Just to make us laugh."
Production Credits Edit
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Edited by Kevin Williamsen
- Howard the Duck Honest Trailer Stakes Claim as the First Marvel Movie - CBR.com article
- An Honest Trailer for Howard the Duck - Neatorama article
- The Howard the Duck Honest Trailer. - MOE Lane article
- ‘Howard the Duck’ Honest Trailer: The First Marvel Comics Movie Was Truly Fowl - SlashFilm article
- Howard the Duck Honest Trailer - The Awesomer article
- HOWARD THE DUCK Finally Gets an Honest Trailer - Geek Tyrant article