IT Chapter Two is the 324th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2019 film IT Chapter Two. It was published on December 3 2019, to coincide with the film's release of digital/Blu-ray. It is 4 minutes and 39 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.01 million times.
In a world going through it’s second Stephen King-aissance, the sequel to the highest-grossing horror film is here. And the scariest part, is the runtime. [shows Google search for It Chapter Two running time, results: 2h 50m] 2, 50?! It’s not real. It’s not real! [shows Mike hitting a table with a chair]
IT Chapter Two
The losers club is all grown up. Half of them are big celebrities, but all of them are still losers. Bill’s an author who writes crappy endings, in a nod to both Stephen King and the movie you’re watching. [Bill: “You want me to sign it for you?” Stephen: “Nah. I didn’t like the ending.”] GET IT?! Ben is hung up on his middle school crush, MIDDLE SCHOOL. Dude. Richie somehow makes Bill Hader unfunny, Beverly married her dad and Eddie literally married his mother. Damn, I thought this took place in Maine, not the front page of Alabama Pornhub.
Mike will summon these super friends to help him capture three big space baaaalls, who takes the form of Pennywise. A shape-shifting clown who can kill them at anytime. But... doesn’t, and settles for either spooky balloons or passive-aggressive roommate notes. Because it turns out, Pennywise kinda sucks at monster stuff. What kind of ancient horror gets negged to death? [shows The Losers Club defeating Pennywise by just saying he’s a clown]
You thrilled at the first film, a slick adaptation of the novel that cut the- uhhh... “fluff”, and focused on ten scene of kids in danger. Now, get ready for a faithful adaptation of.. part 2 of the TV mini-series? Uh oh. Pumped up with action that feels like it’s missing video game QuickTime events [shows an action scene with PS4 QuickTime events], and so many shenanigans, it won’t just break the tension, it’ll deflate it like a sad clown’s penis [shows wacky scenes from this movie, The Mask and Son of the Mask]. As you sit through a movie that keeps expanding like it’s trying a 13 episode Netflix order. Full of side quests that don’t end up mattering, a Native American ritual that doesn’t even summon a cosmic turtle, and an hours worth of IT Chapter One deleted scenes. Hey, you guys remember that one summer where we all got digitally de-aged? That was the best. Let’s stay friends forever.
So, buckle up for the second and final chapter of IT. A film that’s almost guaranteed to be the last sequel. Because all the prime locations and villains disintegrate, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be more spin-offs! [shows Bloody Disgusting article that reads: “‘IT’ Writer Gary Dauberman Still Thinks Pennywise Spinoffs Are a Possibility”] He’s been active every 27 years for how long again? [Mike: “Just a few billion years."] (maniacal laughter) We’ll be stuck with this clown for the rest of our lives! (maniacal laughter) PLEASE!! KILL ME!!!
Starring: Killer Klown From Outer Space (Bill Skarsgård as Pennywise/"It"); Open Mouth School of Acting (James McAvoy as Bill Denbrough); Insane In The Chastain (Jessica Chastain as Beverly Marsh); Jerry O’Connell (Jay Ryan as Ben Hanscom and Jeremy Ray Taylor as Young Ben Hanscom); The Man Your Man Could Shelve Like (Isaiah Mustafa as Mike Hanlon); Derry's Hottest Club is The Losers Clubhouse. This Place Has Everything. Balloons, Shower Caps, Street Fighter, An Open Sewer, Plus You Can Do A Human Bunyan. That’s That Thing Where A Statue of Paul Bunyan Comes To Life and Chases You. (Bill Hader as Richie Tozier); She’s My Mother (slap) My Wife (slap) My Mother (slap slap) She’s My Mother And My Wife! (James Ransone as Eddie Kaspbrak); Spider Head. Spider Head. He’s Taunting You Cause Your Friend Is Dead. (Pennywise in his spider form); My Knife! (Teach Grant as Henry Bowers); and Dean Koontz (Stephen King as Pawn Shop Owner).IT Stinks!
Henry Bowers: “Here’s Johnny!”
Wait, so The Shining exists in this universe? So does Stephen King also exist? Does he hate the movie adoption and does that make this place a g-g-g-g... ghost shop?! Zoinks!
Production Credits Edit
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, & Max Dionne
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Supervisor: Kevin Williamsen
Production Coordinator: Ryan O'Toole