Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the 17th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner, Dan Perrault and Russell Eida. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2008 action adventure sequel film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was published on January 22, 2013. It is 3 minutes and 14 seconds long. It has been viewed over 7.9 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on YouTube
"From one of the greatest adventure franchises of all time, comes a new installment that will make you wish you were watching The Mummy." ~ Honest Trailers - Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Script[]
He discovered the Lost Ark. He conquered a temple of doom. He defeated an army of evil. And now... he's looking at a gopher.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
From one of the greatest adventure franchises of all time (Indiana Jones), comes a new installment that will make you wish you were watching The Mummy.
Team up with Indiana Jones, and the kid from Transformers (Mutt Williams), to track down the skull of a stupid alien, that should never have been in this movie in the first place.
Witness Spielberg and Lucas take a giant, steaming dump on their own legacy, by replacing scary Nazis with scary ants, mountains with molehills, and Karen Allen... with a far less attractive Karen Allen.
Be amazed that the director (Steven Spielberg) who built a franchise on amazing practical effects would approve terrible CGI, like... these fake fighting monkeys (shows several CGI monkeys attacking Mutt in a jeep); this alien; this jungle sword fight (shows Mutt and Spalko dueling with swords atop their respective moving jeeps); this lumberjack car (shows a CGI jungle cutter); not one, but three scenes with gophers; sets that look worse than Legends of the Hidden Temple; and this shot. (shows Mutt swinging on some CGI vines alongside some CGI monkeys) Geez; is this the same guy that made Jurassic Park 15 years ago?
Prepare to feel old (shows Indy groaning as he's pulled backwards while swinging on his whip), as you witness your favorite childhood hero be constantly reminded that he's now a senior citizen...
Stanforth: We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.
Mutt: You know, for an old man, you ain't bad in a fight. / You are one crazy old man. / Hey, old man! / Get on, gramps! / What are you, like, 80?
...and discover the truth... that Lucas and Spielberg have become sappy old geezers.
Indy: But their treasure wasn't gold. It was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.
A film so lazy, it reuses the same over-the-top sound effect (montage of characters getting punched as the same stock sound effect plays); so boring (shows Indy being subjected to nuclear decontamination), this backstory sounds more interesting...
Indy: He was MI6 when I was in OSS. We did 20, 30 missions together in Europe and the Pacific.
...so disappointing, its best moments are the references to the previous movies (shows the Ark of the Covenant in this film and Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy being chased by natives in this film and Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy being scared by a snake in this film and Raiders of the Lost Ark, a framed photo of Dr. Henry Jones, Sr. from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy sleeping with his hat covering his eyes in this film and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and planes flying over a map charting their routes in this film and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom); and so cartoonish, it shows that a refrigerator will protect you from a nuclear bomb. (shows Indy's refrigerator tumbling down a hill following a nuclear bomb test, followed by Indy himself falling out of it when it finally lands) <sigh> Are you f*cking kidding me?
Starring: Harrison Bored (Harrison Ford as Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.); Gandalf (John Hurt as Harold "Ox" Oxley); Sh*t TheBed (Shia LaBeouf as Mutt Williams/Henry Jones III); Vladimir Putin (Igor Jijikine as Colonel Antonin Dovchenko); Cat Blanket (Cate Blanchett as Irina Spalko); E.T. (shows the reanimated alien); and Lucky to Be Here (Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood).
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Ugh, five years later, and I still want a refund...
Trivia[]
- The Indiana Jones series has been mentioned in numerous other Honest Trailers, most notably the Honest Trailer for The Mummy (1999), which includes a side-by-side comparison of similar concepts and characters from both films.
- Screen Junkies would later make an Honest Trailer for the first three Indiana Jones movies.
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other Steven Spielberg films including Jaws, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Hook and Ready Player One.
- Screen Junkies have also made Honest Trailers for several other modern sequels to classic franchises, including Prometheus, Alien: Covenant, Halloween (2018), Independence Day: Resurgence, Ghostbusters (2016), Terminator Genisys, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Predator and many, many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has an 97.7% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant wrote that the Honest Trailer was "extremely funny." io9 wrote that the Honest Trailer was "absolutely brutal" and "so dead on it kind of makes you cringe." The Mary Sue wrote that the Honest Trailer re-opened old wounds and that Screen Junkies pointed out all the film's flaws every single flaw via "keen observations that lay down the snark in spades."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Series Created & Directed by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Executive Producer Mitch Rotter
Written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner, Dan Perrault & Russell Eida
Edited by Max Dionne and Brett Weiner
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
External links[]
- Honest trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is absolutely brutal - io9 article
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Honest Trailer Reminds Us How Bad It Really Was - The Mary Sue article
- An Honest Trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull - Flickering Myth
- Honest Trailer for INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - Geek Tyrant article