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Honest Trailer - John Wick

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John Wick is the 186th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2014 action thriller film John Wick. The video was published on February 7, 2017, to coincide with the theatrical release of the sequel John Wick: Chapter 2. It is 4 minutes and 29 seconds long. It has been viewed over 6.4 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - John Wick on YouTube

"Enter a mysterious shadow society of assassins, where everyone is way too casual about dead bodies, complete with its own mysterious currency, cleanup crew, hotel, bar, healthcare, car service, and assassin... jazz band, I guess?" ~ Honest Trailers - John Wick

Script[]

They stole his car. They killed his dog. Now, he's going to kill 76 people (shows John breaking a gangster's neck), who worked for the dad of the kid who did it. (shows John throwing a gangster to the floor, then shooting him)

John Wick

Strap in for the sleeper hit of 2014, that your friends would not shut up about, combining the no-nonsense revenge movies of the past (shows the posters for Death Wish (1974), Léon: The Professional, and Mad Max), with the slick production techniques of today, in an action flick that doesn't rely on quick cuts or shaky cam...? I-I didn't even know you were allowed to do that! How's Liam Neeson going to hop a fence in the next Taken? (shows Bryan Mills leaping over a fence as the camera cuts about 15 times in Taken) Man, that must've... "taken" them a while. Hehe... I mean, seriously; that was, like, 14 different camera angles.

Meet John Wick, the man whose mere name makes criminals reconsider their life choices.

Aurelio: --he stole John Wick's car...

Viggo: Oh.

Viggo: --John Wick.

Iosef: Oh.

Avi: Oh, God.

Witness Keanu's eighth and arguably best character named "John" (shows the posters for Point Break, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Johnny Mnemonic, Constantine, Generation Um..., Rain Fall, and this film); he's a retired hitman tragically in love with a video clip, but after the world's most depressing crime...

Viggo: (to Iosef) --days after his wife died, you steal his car and kill his f*ckin' dog.

...he'll turn the entire world into a game of Call of Duty on the easiest difficulty. (shows John blowing up some of Viggo's men's cars as an Xbox 360 achievement notification pops up reading "ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BABA YAGA") To quote the man himself...

Neo (The Matrix): Whoa.

Enter a mysterious shadow society of assassins, where everyone is way too casual about dead bodies...

Harry: (staring at John wearing a bloodstained t-shirt and holding a gun) Hey, John.

Jimmy: (looking past John at a corpse on the ground) You, uh, workin' again?

...complete with its own mysterious currency, cleanup crew, hotel, bar, healthcare, car service, and assassin... jazz band, I guess?

Singer: (singing) But I'll empty your pockets...

So, is there, like, an assassin Yelp? Assassin daycare? Assassin deli? I really hope they clear all that up in John Wick 2.

Watch as John hunts down Theon Greyjoy, who's gone from literally dickless to metaphorically dickless...

Iosef: I want another bottle!

(shows Aurelio getting punched in the face by Aurelio and in the stomach by Viggo)

Iosef: Go get me a bottle!

...in breathtaking action sequences, where John kills countless actual redshirts, culminating in a finale where he casually shoots the person he's been hunting, then wrestles an old and out-of-shape Russian dad in the rain. (shows John throwing Viggo to the ground) Huh... Kind of feels like they blew their budget in that nightclub scene.

So pull up a front row seat to the Keanu-ssance, as this immortal 50-year-old still kicks just as much ass as he did in his twenties, and finally loses the trademark chill he's been building up since Bill & Ted...

John: OR YOU CAN DIE SCREAMING ALONGSIDE HIM!!

...as we pray that Keanu pulls off what he's never done before: follow up a great action movie with a sequel that doesn't suck.

Architect (The Matrix Reloaded): You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. [...] Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant. [...] Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the--

Starring: I Know Gun-Fu (Keanu Reeves as John Wick); Da Friend or Da Foe? (Willem Dafoe as Marcus); Headshots (montage of John shooting people in the head); Russian Reek (Alfie Allen as Iosef Tarasov); Friday Night Lights Out (Adrianne Palicki as Ms. Perkins); More Headshots (another montage of John shooting people in the head); Winston Churchkill (Ian McShane as Winston); Super Shredder in Ninja Turtles 2 (Kevin Nash as Francis); and... Wow, This Movie is Like 80% Headshots (shows John shooting Gregori in the head with a sniper rifle).

A Dog's Purpose

for John Wick - A Dog's Purpose. Title design by .

Honest title for John Wick - A Dog's Purpose. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Man, John's so good at shooting, he doesn't even shoot vertical video. (shows John watching a video of his late wife Helen in landscape orientation)

Trivia[]

HONEST_REACTIONS-_John_Wick_Directors_React_to_The_Honest_Trailer!

HONEST REACTIONS- John Wick Directors React to The Honest Trailer!

Honest Reactions - John Wick directors

Reception []

Honest Trailers - John Wick has an 98.5% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Maxim said the Honest Trailer was "hilarious." and highlighted Screen Junkies' jokes about the character's disproportionate revenge plan, the abundance of headshots in the film, and the many characters names John that Reeves has played during his career. BroBible also appreciated the observation about the character's name, remarking, "as usual we get a few new revelations that we didn’t know with an “Honest Trailer” such as the fact that this is the eighth character Keanu Reeves has played named John, plus other fun tidbits." Slash Film noted that the Honest Trailer was very complimentary, writing "this is one of those Honest Trailers where the best jokes come from making fun of or making references to outside titles. This includes pointing out how much better of an action movie John Wick is than the more recent installments of Taken featuring unnecessary frenetic editing an camera work, as well as a nice reference for Game of Thrones fans."

Screen Rant similarly noted how positive the Honest Trailer was, but also wrote "an Honest Trailer wouldn't be complete without some good-natured ribbing, and John Wick's is no different. Right off the bat, the narrator mentions the absurdity of Wick systematically murdering dozens of people in an effort to take out the one guy who stole his car and killed his dog. That's a major case of disproportionate retribution by just about any standard. Also mentioned is Wick's love of killing his enemies via headshot, with the narrator calling the film about 80% headshots at one point. There's also a good dig at the expense of the Matrix sequels."

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - John Wick

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - John Wick

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer - Andy Signore

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Michael Bolton, Christina Kline

Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links []

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