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Jumanji is the 226th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1995 fantasy adventure film Jumanji. It was published on December 19, 2017 to coincide with the theatrical release of the sequel/reboot Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. The video is 4 minutes 40 seconds long. It has been viewed over 2.5 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Jumanji on YouTube

"Forget about lions and spiders and vines, 'cause you're about to be hunted by more serious stuff like: unresolved childhood issues, bullying, literal death, fears about your own inadequacy that manifest as mass shooters, and tons of PTSD." ~ Honest Trailers - Jumanji

Script Edit

You've seen a good board game movies like Clue (Kid (singing): I am your singing telegram (gets shot and then died)), and uhh... well, I guess that's about it. Now get ready for a movie with more scares than Ouija, more quality than Dungeons & Dragons, and about a thousand times more logic than Battleship (Cora Raikes: Mahalo, motherf- (shoots to the alien robot, then explodes and thrown out to the sea)) (Van Pelt: Huh?).

Jumanji

Before you catch step sixteen of The Rock's 25-point plan to rule the world (Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle), revisit the children's classic that's way too scary for children, and scariest of all: doesn't give Robin Williams anything funny to say (Alan Parrish: What happened to you? The Clampetts have a yard sale?). Ha..ha, as this guy in a weird green costume makes peace with the death of his childhood (Alan Parrish: I wonder if Mrs. Nedermyer's still teaching sixth grade.), in other words... Hook in reverse (comparing clips of Robin Williams as Alan Parrish in his old fairy-ish costume with Robin Williams as Peter Pan in Hook).

Get ready to play Jumanji, the vaguely African board game that ruined at least three generation of kids' lives, where all you have to do is roll the dice, then read a slight variation of MOVE YOUR ASS.

Young Sarah: [reads] "You better run...."

Peter Shepherd: [reads] "Your party better move.."

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "Staying put would be a blunder."

(hears rumbling sound)

Stampede.

(rumbling gets louder)

Guys, stampede (Alan Parrish getting closer to the bookshelf as the rumbling gets even louder)! How many times does this have to happen before you automatically start running (statue falling down, then crashes) (Alan Parrish: Run!)?! FINALLY, GEEZ!!

Meet Alan Parrish, a boy who was sucked into a board game only to emerge as a confused and hairy Robin Williams.. -err, hairier Robin Williams. Now, along with his traumatized playmate Sarah, and two super unlucky orphans, they'll do whatever it takes to finish the game they started twenty-six years ago, just as soon AS THEY FINISH TALKING ABOUT HAVING TO FINISH THE GAME THEY STARTED TWENTY-SIX YEARS AGO!

Alan Parrish: We're gonna finish it.

Alan Parrish: We're gonna finish that game.

Judy Shepherd: If we finish the game, it'll go all away.

Anytime, guys...

Judy Shepherd: Listen, I know you're upset and all, but I kinda feel we should finish the game.

Forget about lions and spiders and vines, 'cause you're about to be hunted by more serious stuff like: unresolved childhood issues (Sarah Whittle: Last time I played this game, it ruined my life.), bullying, literal death (Judy Shepherd (in dying state): I wish... mom and dad were here), fears about your own inadequacy that manifest as mass shooters (Van Pelt shooting towards Alan Parrish, then misses) (Van Pelt: You miserable coward, come back and face me like a man!), and tons of PTSD (Alan Parrish shocked after seeing Jumanji board game) (Alan Parrish: Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert.). Wow, this is so much darker than I remembered (Judy Shepherd: Our parents are dead too.).

Watch romance bloom between Bonnie Hunt and Robin Williams, just don't think hard about it because she's an adult and he's still mentally a child (Alan Parrish: It's me! It's me, Alan, mom and dad!), and thrill at the happy ending where all the damage is reversed, but definitely don't think too hard about that 'cause twenty-six years of life got erased because some kids finally beat a game. You know, I kinda like my life but... cool, very happy for you, Bonnie.

So strap in for a film that finally cracked the code for being a good movie about a game based on a made-up game from a book (Jumanji by Chris Van Allsburg), filled with characters you actually care about, and always cast Robin Williams. Man, I miss that guy.

Starring, Peter Man (Robin Williams as Alan Parrish), Tween Wolf (Bradley Pierce as Peter Shepherd), Kristen Dunston Checks In (Kristen Dunst as Judy Shepherd), Dollar Store Halloween Decorations, The Reason This Needed A Reboot, Not A Remake (Jonathan Hyde as Sam Parrish/Van Pelt) (gunshots) (Van Pelt: Don't move or I'll blow your blinking brains out!), Vine Stars, Bebe Driver (Bebe Neuwirth as Nora Shepherd), Audrey II, The Bad Lieutenant (David Alan Grier as Carl Bentley) (Carl Bentley: Those are my keys! Those are my keys!), Disney Jungle Cruise (animatronic crocodile), Andy Serkis' Worst Work (CGI monkeys) and the NRA (Darryl Henriques as Gun Salesman) (Gun Salesman: You'll have to fill out these (Van Pelts taking out coins from his pocket, then puts it on the table). Or I could fill these out!).

Honest Trailers - JumanjiOpen Invideo 4-8 screenshot

Honest title for Jumanji - The Jungle Book: The Game, The Movie. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

The Jungle Book: The Game, The Movie

Whatever happened to the helpful kind-hobo trope (show clips from The Fisher King, With Honor and Home Alone)?

Homeless Man: Here, you're gonna freeze out there (lending blanket to Alan Parrish).

Awww!

Trivia Edit

Honest Trailer Commentaries - Jumanji

Honest Trailer Commentaries - Jumanji

Watch the full Honest Trailer Commentary on YouTube

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Jumanji has a 97.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant noted that the Honest Trailer "points out just how dark it [Jumanji] really is when you stop and think about it." Similarly, Slate found the Honest Trailer notable for highlighting that the movie is "a lot darker than we remembered, with plenty of legitimately frightening scares and way more PTSD than you’d expect from a family film." Slashfilm said that Screen Junkies went easy on Jumanji: "for some reason, they don’t have many big swings to take at this movie which hasn’t aged particularly well, especially in the visual effects department, but they do point out some strange details that you might not have thought about before" including noticing that Robin Williams "doesn’t say anything particularly funny in this movie."

Production credits Edit

Honest trailer jumanji

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Jumanji

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Max Dionne

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Lon Harris

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links Edit

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