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Jurassic Park is the 22nd episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Ian Weinreich, Russell Eida, Jason Mathews, Andy Signore and Dave Child. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1993 sci-fi adventure film Jurassic Park. The video was published on April 2, 2013, to coincide with the 3D re-release of the film in theaters. It is 3 minutes and 37 seconds long. It has been viewed over 9.4 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Jurassic Park on YouTube

"A state-of-the-art theme park that is fully staffed and operational, except for when it rains." ~ Honest Trailers - Jurassic Park

Script[]

This April, Steven Spielberg invites you to journey back to a time before every movie was needlessly converted to 3D. Jurassic Park, now needlessly converted to 3D.

Revisit the adventure that launched your childhood obsession with dinosaurs, and two really disappointing sequels (The Lost World: Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park III). Re-experience the groundbreaking CGI that still holds up after 20 years, and all of this technology that doesn't (Lex: An interactive CD-ROM!...It's a Unix system.); and re-witness the Goldblum. (shows Jeff Goldblum lying down with his shirt open as sexy music plays)

Enter a theme park full of live dinosaurs made by impossible science, created by John Hammond, a terrible grandfather who will leave his grandkids alone with complete strangers and a T-Rex. When this incredibly dangerous dinosaur park faces inevitable insurance problems, Hammond must finally hire a group of people who actually know something about dinosaurs: Dr. Alan Grant, a brilliant dino bone scientist who loves to traumatize children; Dr. Ellie Sattler, an ancient...plant scientist person; and Dr. Ian Malcolm, who actually knows nothing about dinosaurs.

Together, they will experience a journey through a state-of-the-art theme park that is fully staffed and operational, except for when it rains, stranding them in a deadly zoo that's spared no expense (shows clips of John Hammond saying "spared no expense"), except for tougher fences, more than one security guard, an emergency power supply, sturdier signs, and paying the one disgruntled employee who runs the entire park.

Experience in 3D the unforgettable film that'll constantly remind you of the film that you are currently watching (shows clips of the Jurassic Park logo on park facilities and merchandise), the electrifying excitement of watching a kid in constant peril (Tim Murphy) who cannot die, and the unparalleled visual effects that introduced audiences to the GIF (shows GIF of Dennis Nedry on a computer).

Starring Land Jaws (Tyrannosaurus Rex), Derp Face (Laura Dern as Ellie Sattler), Papa Smurf (Richard Attenborough as John Hammond), Brundlefly (Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm), The Olsen Twins (Velociraptors), Two-Eyed Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson as Ray Arnold), and The Guy from Jurassic Park (Sam Neill as Alan Grant).

Jurassic Park 3D.

(shows a Tyrannosaurus in the Visitor Center) Aw, man, what an awesome shot -- (a banner falls in front of the T-Rex) awww, look at how the banner falls! I gotta watch this movie again.

Trivia[]

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Jurassic Park has an 98.7% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Slash Film said despite their appreciation for the 3D conversion of Jurassic Park, it was "hard not to chuckle" at the Honest Trailer. The Mary Sue agreed with the Honest Trailer that Jurassic Park 3D was "unnecessary." However, The Mary Sue wrote that some of the things that Screen Junkies criticized were actually positives, including the out-dated technology. The site wrote, "You have not known joy until you’ve been in a sold-out screening of people laughing at 'It’s an interactive CD-ROM!.'"

Production credits[]

JurassicPark

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Jurassic Park

Directed by Andy Signore

Executive Producer Mitch Rotter

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Episode Written by Ian Weinreich, Russell Eida, Jason Mathews, Andy Signore and Dave Child

Edited by Dan Murrell

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External links[]

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