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Jurassic World is the 122nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2015 science-fiction adventure film Jurassic World. It was published on October 13, 2015, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 6 minutes and 16 seconds long. It has been viewed over 8.6 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Jurassic World on YouTube

"How can a women in high heels out-run a t-rex?" ~ Honest Trailers - Jurassic World

ScriptEdit

From Colin Trevorrow...Tre-ver-re-reow...Treeverow...f-from...Not Steven Spielberg comes the best Jurassic Park sequel ever made, which really isn't saying much (shows the ALAN! clip from Jurassic Park III). Jurassic World.

It's been 22 years since Jurassic Park opened its gates, but today's kids don't care about an old-fashioned dinosaur zoo. Now, desperate for more profits, Jurassic World is here with cooler new dinosaurs, better amenities, and tons of product placement, to exploit a new generation by selling them the same basic premise they already sold to their parents, to the point where they literally break out a pair of nostalgia goggles (shows Gray looking at night vision goggles from the first Jurassic Park film). Wait, are we talking about the movie or the reason this movie exists? I, I really can't tell anymore.

Lowery: That first park was legit.

Welcome to Jurassic World, an awesome dinosaur version of SeaWorld that's another Blackfish documentary waiting to happen, where, once again, they've spared no expense (Simon: Spare no expense!), yet after a string of highly public disasters where dinosaurs escaped, they still have crappy fences, bad security, and conveniently bad reception (shows clips of characters losing phone reception). Should've taken that Verizon deal.

You remember the original film's great characters, like Alan Grant and Ian Malcolm. Now, meet, uh, tha, this stiff lady (Claire Dearing), who won't shut up about assets (shows clips of Claire saying "asset"); and this...Chris Pratt (Owen Grady), who won't shut up about animals (shows clips of Owen saying "animal"). Together with a bunch of other one-dimensional characters, whose names I cannot seem to remember (Simon Masrani, Lowery Cruthers and Barry Sembene), they'll have to thwart InGen's plan to strap cameras on barely trained raptors' heads and use them to hunt terrorists in Afghanistan.

Vic: These guys are gonna run straight into the enemy's teeth and eat 'em, belt buckle and all.

Wait, what? I need to read that again. (reads quietly through previous line) No, that's what it says.

Vic: Imagine if we had these puppies in Tora Bora.

Wow, that is, like, a Dr. Evil level of stupid right there.

Dr. Evil: I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!

After just ten years of operation, the public is somehow already bored of living, breathing dinosaurs. Now, instead of creating new herbivore hybrids, the same guy responsible for the first dinosaur disaster (Henry Wu) will combine the two deadliest carnivores on the island: T-rex and raptor, and snake, and tree frog, and cuttlefish...?

Wu: Cuttlefish genes were added.

Dude, stop. You had me at T-rex/raptor. This isn't Pinkberry. You don't have to use every topping just 'cause they're there.

So experience the box office smash of the summer that's really just the most expensive Sci-Fi Channel original movie ever made, that gave bored zookeepers something to do this summer and had everyone asking how that lady outran a T-rex in high heels, but somehow gave a pass to all these other questions like, is the CEO really the only helicopter pilot on a chain of small islands? (Vivian: And you're sure there's nobody else who can fly a helicopter?/Simon: We don't need anyone else.) Why would they give a dinosaur created for public display the ability to camouflage? Is the assistant's (Zara) death scene cool, or extremely excessive and unjustified? Why do you have one fat, lazy security guard for the most dangerous animal on the planet? Why can't B. D. Wong tell the park management what he put in their dinosaur? Didn't they pay for it? Can the Mosasaurus eat anything that wanders next to its tank? Why are these kids' (Gray and Zach) parents getting divorced, and why is that even in the movie? Why aren't any of these girls calling the police on this creep (shows Zach staring at girls)? Why do these two characters (Owen and Claire) hook up, despite never really liking each other? Who's in charge of this control room? A dinosaur's literally eating people, and they're all just sitting there. Is there no head of security? What is this lady's (Claire) job exactly? Is this (Vic) the worst-written villain ever? (shows a raptor leaping on a T-rex's back as it fights the Indominus rex) Wait, did that raptor just jump on that T-rex's back to get leverage? Because that's awesome. And how can the tour balls leave the park when today's technology won't even let you take a shopping cart twenty feet from the grocery store? But who cares? 'Cause that T-rex and raptor tag-team fight was awesome!!

Starring Zoo Lord (Chris Pratt as Owen Grady); Bryce Dallas Texas (Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing); Vincent Donut Fritos (Vincent D'Onofrio as Vic Hoskins); Human BuzzFeed (Jake Johnson as Lowery Cruthers); Bill Nye the Evil Guy (B. D. Wong as Henry Wu); Shamu (Mosasaurus); Tyrannosaurus Ex Machina (Tyrannosaurus rex); You're My Boy, Blue! (Velociraptor); and The Plotosaurus Rex (Indominus rex).

Honest Trailers - Jurassic WorldOpen Invideo 5-35 screenshot

Honest title for Jurassic World - Raptor Rex vs Dinoshark. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Raptor Rex vs. Dinoshark

Y'know, for such a ridiculous movie, they really nailed what it's like to watch a Jimmy Fallon sketch, am I right? (shows Gray and Zach watching Jimmy Fallon on a TV screen in their gyrosphere and looking bored)

Trivia Edit

  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Jurassic World has an 98.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. JOE said the Honest Trailer was "all kinds of funny." The site also said the questions Screen Junkies raised were "brilliantly answered." MTV wrote that the video was "LOL-worthy" and suggested the video should be used "as a guide for what not to do in the sequel." The Nerdist highlighted the Honest Trailer's criticisms about the one-dimensional characters, repetitious plot and improbable moments. The site also noted that "Vic’s nefarious plan for the raptors is also mocked and accurately described as a Doctor Evil level of stupid. And it really is. The Sea World, Syfy movie, and Pinkberry analogies were also very on point." E! Online remarked that in this video, Screen Junkies are "asking all the right questions about the movie that's big into dino fights, and less into coherent plot points." Slash Film noted that the Honest Trailed called out the film's "literal nostalgia goggles" and the improbability of a woman outrunning a t-rex in heels, but also wrote "Screen Junkies have to admit their nitpicks don’t really matter: 'Who cares, because that T-rex and raptor tag-team fight was awesome!"

 Production credits Edit

Jurassicworld

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Jurassic World

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title Design: Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore

Edited by Anthony Falleroni and Dan Murrell

External links Edit

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