Jurassic World is the 122nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2015 science-fiction adventure film Jurassic World. It was published on October 13, 2015, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 6 minutes and 16 seconds long. It has been viewed over 8.6 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Jurassic World on YouTube
"The most expensive Syfy Channel Original Movie ever made." ~ Honest Trailers - Jurassic World
Script[]
From Colin Trevor-row... Trever-re-rey-o... Tree-vorrow... F-From Not Steven Spielberg (Colin Trevorrow), comes the best Jurassic Park sequel ever made... which really isn't saying much.
"Alan" Raptor (Jurassic Park III): Alan.
Jurassic World
It's been 22 years since Jurassic Park opened its gates, but today's kids don't care about an old-fashioned dinosaur zoo; now, desperate for more profits, Jurassic World is here with cooler new dinosaurs, better amenities, and tons... of... product placement...
Claire: Verizon Wireless presents the Indominus rex.
Lowery: Ugh...
...to exploit a new generation by selling them the same basic premise they already sold to their parents, to the point where they literally break out a pair of nostalgia goggles. (shows Gray holding Tim's night vision goggles) Wait, are we talking about the movie or the reason this movie exists? I-I really can't tell anymore...
Lowery: That first park was legit.
Welcome to Jurassic World, an awesome dinosaur version of SeaWorld that's another Blackfish documentary waiting to happen, where, once again, they've spared... no... expense.
Masrani: "Spare no expense..."
Yet after a string of highly public disasters where dinosaurs escaped, they still have crappy fences...
Claire: --the invisible fences were a no-fail. That is the second time this month.
...bad security...
Vivian: Security, we need a search-and-rescue in the valley.
Man: It's gonna be a while.
...and conveniently bad reception.
Vivian: It's in the cage! It's in there with you!
Vivian: (through the radio) Paddock 11-- (gets cut off by static)
Claire: Okay, Zach, listen to me.
Zach: (after his phone signal breaks up) Hello?
Should've taken that Verizon deal.
You remember the original film's great characters, like Alan Grant and Ian Malcolm; now, meet, uh... th-this... stiff lady (Claire Dearing), who won't shut up about assets...
Claire: That doesn't mean Asset Development is falling behind. / --we've unveiled a new asset... / --Asset Containment... / We have an asset out of containment. / Can we just focus on the asset, please?
...and this... Chris Pratt (Owen Grady), who won't shut up about animals.
Owen: --you don't learn anything about these animals except what you want to know. / It's probably easier to pretend these animals are just... / They're wild animals... / How long has the animal been in here? / Animals raised in isolation...
(montage of Owen saying "animals")
Together with a bunch of other one-dimensional characters, whose... names I... cannot seem to remember, they'll have to thwart InGen's plan to strap cameras on barely-trained raptors' heads and use them to hunt terrorists in Afghanistan.
Hoskins: These guys are gonna run straight into the enemy's teeth and eat 'em, belt buckle and all.
Wait, what?! I need to read that again. "InGen's plan to strap (mumbles)"... No, that's what it says.
Hoskins: Imagine if we had these puppies in Tora Bora.
Wow, that is, like, a Dr. Evil level of stupid, right there.
Dr. Evil (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery): I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
After just ten years of operation, the public is somehow already bored of living, breathing dinosaurs; now, instead of creating new herbivore hybrids, the same guy responsible for the first dinosaur disaster (Dr. Henry Wu) will combine the two deadliest carnivores on the island: T. rex and raptor...
Owen: That thing's part raptor.
...and snake...
Claire: They say it can sense thermal radiation, like snakes.
...and... tree frog...
Wu: Tree frogs can [...] use strands from their DNA to...
...and... cuttlefish?
Wu: Cuttlefish genes were added...
Dude, stop! You had me at "T. rex raptor"! This isn't Pinkberry! You don't have to use every topping just 'cause they're there!
So experience the box office smash of the summer, that's really just the most expensive Syfy Channel Original Movie ever made, that gave bored zookeepers something to do this summer (shows photos of zookeepers copying Owen's "outstretched hands" pose), and had everyone asking how that lady outran a T. rex in high heels, but somehow gave a pass to all these other questions, like... "Is the CEO really the only helicopter pilot on a chain of small islands?"...
Vivian: And you're sure there's nobody else who can fly a helicopter?
Masrani: We don't need anyone else.
..."Why would they give a dinosaur created for public display the ability to camouflage?"...
Hamada: IT CAN CAMOUFLAGE!
..."Is the assistant's death scene cool or extremely excessive and unjustified?" (shows Zara getting eaten by the Mosasaurus while being held by a Pteranodon), "Why do you have one fat, lazy security guard for the most dangerous animal on the planet?"...
Paddock Supervisor: That doesn't make any sense. (takes a bite of his lunch)
..."Why can't BD Wong tell the park management what he put in their dinosaur? Didn't they pay for it?"...
Wu: That's unfortunate.
..."Can the Mosasaurus eat anything that wanders next to his tank?", "Why are these kids' parents getting divorced, and why is that even in the movie?", "Why aren't any of these girls calling the police on this creep?"...
Gray: (to Zach) What do you think's gonna happen from you just staring at them?
..."Why do these two characters hook up despite never really liking each other?", "Who's in charge of this control room? A dinosaur is literally eating people, and they're all just sitting there. Is there no head of security?"...
Man: That's a first.
..."What is this lady's job, exactly?"...
Owen: She does not even know what she is.
..."Is this the worst-written villain ever?"...
Hoskins: Oh, Jesus.
..."Wait, did that raptor just jump on that T. rex's back to get leverage? Because that's awesome.", and "How can the tour balls leave the park when today's technology won't even let you take a shopping cart 20 feet from the grocery store?"
Zach: No, we can stay out a couple more minutes.
But who cares?! 'Cause that T. rex and raptor tag team fight was AWESOME!!
Starring: Zoo Lord (Chris Pratt as Owen Grady); Bryce Dallas Texas (Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing); Vincent Donut Fritos (Vincent D'Onofrio as Vic Hoskins); Human BuzzFeed (Jake Johnson as Lowery Cruthers); Bill Nye the Evil Guy (BD Wong as Dr. Henry Wu); Shamu (the Mosasaurus); Tyrannosaurus Ex Machina (the Tyrannosaurus rex); You're My Boy, Blue! (Blue); and Plotosaurus Rex (the Indominus rex).
Raptor Rex vs. Dinoshark
Honest title for Jurassic World - Raptor Rex vs Dinoshark. Title design by Robert Holtby.
You know, for such a ridiculous movie, they really nail what it's like to watch a Jimmy Fallon sketch, am I right?
Jimmy Fallon: Is this real? It is? (faints)
(shows Zach and Gray looking bored as cricket chirping sounds play)
Trivia[]
- This Honest Trailer include the Alan raptor clip from Jurassic Park 3. This is a running joke in the Honest Trailers series.
- Write Dan Murrell is infamous for his hatred of this movie. He got extremely passionate during an episode of Movie Fights when arguing that the film should be deemed "rotten."
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for many movies in the Jurassic franchise, including Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Jurassic Park 3 and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.
- In addition, there is an episode of Honest Game Trailers that parodies the many Jurassic Park Games that have been released over the years. It features a special guest appearance by Jurassic Park actor Jeff Goldblum!
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Jurassic World has an 98.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. JOE said the Honest Trailer was "all kinds of funny." The site also said the questions Screen Junkies raised were "brilliantly answered." MTV wrote that the video was "LOL-worthy" and suggested the video should be used "as a guide for what not to do in the sequel." The Nerdist highlighted the Honest Trailer's criticisms about the one-dimensional characters, repetitious plot and improbable moments. The site also noted that "Vic’s nefarious plan for the raptors is also mocked and accurately described as a Doctor Evil level of stupid. And it really is. The Sea World, Syfy movie, and Pinkberry analogies were also very on point." E! Online remarked that in this video, Screen Junkies are "asking all the right questions about the movie that's big into dino fights, and less into coherent plot points." Slash Film noted that the Honest Trailed called out the film's "literal nostalgia goggles" and the improbability of a woman outrunning a t-rex in heels, but also wrote "Screen Junkies have to admit their nitpicks don’t really matter: 'Who cares, because that T-rex and raptor tag-team fight was awesome!"
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Jurassic World
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore
Edited by Anthony Falleroni and Dan Murrell
External links []
- ‘Jurassic World’ Honest Trailer: “Another ‘Blackfish’ Documentary Waiting to Happen” - Slash Film article
- Honest Trailers Reminds Us How Crazy Jurassic World Is - E! Online article
- VIDEO: The Honest Trailer for Jurassic World is all kinds of funny - JOE article
- THIS FAKE 'JURASSIC WORLD' TRAILER SHOULD BE USED AS A GUIDE TO MAKE THE SEQUEL - MTV article
- JURASSIC WORLD HONEST TRAILER LOVES DINOS, HATES HUMANS - Nerdist article