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Kingsman: The Secret Service is the 114th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2015 spy comedy film Kingsman: The Secret Service. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on August 18, 2015, to coincide with the theatrical release of spy movie The Man from U.N.C.L.E. It is 4 minutes 17 seconds long. It has been viewed over 9.9 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Kingsman: The Secret Service on YouTube

"You're not James Bond. We get it." ~ Honest Trailers - Kingsman: The Secret Service

ScriptEdit

From Matthew Vaughn, the English action director who's not Guy Ritchie, comes a James Bond movie with more cursing, blood, and butt sex...or at least more explicit butt sex, in an action spy comedy parody YA satire thriller that left audiences saying "Man, I did not expect that movie to be as good as it was."

Kingsman: The Secret Service.

When a suave British secret agent who's definitely not James Bond (Harry Hart) trains a young protege (Eggsy) to definitely not become the next James Bond, supervised by an old authority figure who's definitely not M (Arthur) and helped by a gadget wizard who's definitely not Q (Merlin) to fight a bald supervillain in a mountain lair who's definitely not Blofeld (Richmond Valentine), the only way to convince you that you're not watching an actual James Bond movie is to constantly remind you that you're not.

Richmond Valentine: You like spy movies?

Harry Hart: I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain.

Richmond Valentine: Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?

Eggsy: This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.

Arthur: What's his name?

Eggsy: J. B.

Arthur: As in James Bond?

Eggsy: No.

We get it!

Meet Eggsy, your average London tough guy who's also a trained Marine, parkour expert, former gymnastics champ, pickpocket, and stunt driver. When he pisses off the kind of British guys you need closed captioning to understand, he'll use a magical Get Out of Jail Free necklace to join the Kingsmen, a secret agency formed by elite, rich aristocrats who answer to no one, kill anybody they think is a threat, and ask you to murder your own dog to join their ranks. You know, the...good guys...?

Watch them square off with an equally over-the-top bad guy in Richmond Valentine, a man hellbent on stopping global warming with an equally over-the-top plan, by giving away evil SIM cards -- which he just assumes everyone will know how to replace and use -- that are programmed to make everyone in the world kill each other through brainwaves...or something, unless Richmond puts an easily detectable chip in your brain that he can use to kill you instantly, which every world leader agrees to for some reason. Yet somehow, the dumbest part of this patently ridiculous evil plan is Sam Jackson's distracting "Tweety Bird-meets-Mike Tyson" voice. I'm pretty sure the director was scared to tell him that that idea was stupid.

So strap in for all the gadgets, blatant product placement, and...wordlwide intrigue...? (shows a news headline with the word "worldwide" misspelled as "wordlwide")...you love about the Bond films, but with even more boring, snooty Britishness, like extreme politeness, male fashion advice, and really specific drink orders.

Henchman: Get a '62 Dalmore.

Arthur: An 1815 Napoleonic brandy.

Richmond Valentine: This '45 Lafitte.

Eggsy: Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously, stirred for ten seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you.

You're not James Bond. We get it.

Starring The Kingsman's Speech (Colin Firth as Harry Hart), Hot Austin Powers (Taron Egerton as Gary "Eggsy" Unwin), Stanley Tucci-ish (Mark Strong as Merlin), King Arthur and the Knights of the Rectangle (Michael Caine as Chester "Arthur" King), Professor Joker (Mark Hamill as James Arnold), The Westboro Baptist Church (shows a church congregation going crazy as Hart shoots them), Blades of Glory (Sofia Boutella as Gazelle), and Thamuel L. Jackthson (Samuel L. Jackson as Richmond Valentine).

Honest Trailers - Kingsman The Secret ServiceOpen Invideo 3-46 screenshot

Honest title for Kingsman: The Secret Service - Kings-Man, That Movie Came Out of Nowhere. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Kings-Man, That Movie Came Out of Nowhere

Newscaster: One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea, still missing.

Well, at least some good came out of this.

Viewer's Comments Edit

Please say : Manners Maketh Man. - Hanya Abulkul

Can you say my suit is black not - Hemi Puru-Peri

Say: "STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON!" - MetaBoo110

Say " You Where Only Suppose To Blow The Bloody Doors Of" - Luther Bortrill

Please say "all we had to do was follow the damn train, cj". - roggeralves94

PLEASE SAY: "Drop that zero and get with the hero!" - Kousaburo

 Trivia Edit

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Kingsman: The Secret Service has an 98.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Reviews for this Honest Trailer were mixed, reflecting differing views of the film itself. Geek Tyrant commented that Screen Junkies "have a lot of fun tearing into the ridiculousness of it. I loved the movie, but it definitely does set itself up for all of the great jokes that are made at its expense in this video." Uproxx noted that Screen Junkies "didn't criticize the movie much" but also said "we can understand why Screen Junkies went easy on the movie." In stark contrast, Indie Wire wrote "we were hoping this Honest Trailer had a bit more bite." The site opined "Kingsman: The Secret Service is considered by many as one of the worst movies of the year. It’s a vile, unfunny, sexist, adolescent effort that has lots of flash but very, very little under the hood of its sendup of spy movies, particularly James Bond pictures." Indie Wire's assessment was that the Honest Trailer "does an adequate job of laying out how Matthew Vaughn‘s picture seems desperate to constantly remind you that you are not watching a standard spy movie, even though it trades exactly on those tropes… but with a big, obnoxious wink at all times."

 Production credits Edit

Kingsman

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Erica Russell and Andy Signore

Edited by Anthony Falleroni and Jason Inman

External links Edit

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