Marvel's What If...? is the 421st episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Logan Rees, Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the first season of the animated anthology series Marvel's What If...?. It was published on November 2, 2021, in anticipation of Eternals. It is 6 minutes and 6 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.7 million times.
Script[]
From the studio (Disney) -- You know the one; there's only, like, two of them left now, anyways. -- comes a series based on silly comic books, like "What if Iron Man fought King Arthur?", or "What if Wolverine was a vampire?", that dares to imagine something even more ridiculous: "What if MCU writers could try something new?" But not, like, "new" new; just a slight remix of some old favorites. Let's not go too crazy here!
Marvel's What If...?
Enjoy some wild animated experiments, that stay true to the MCU by having no real beginning or end, no real message to get behind, and every character from the most hardened warrior to the most powerful cosmic being speaks like an A.I. barfing out Chandler Bing dialogue.
The Collector: I simply abhor drama.
T'Challa: Your outfit would suggest otherwise. (laugh track)
Wasp: (after blowing up Zombie Sharon Carter) Uh... guys? I'm covered in Sharon! (laugh track)
Spider-Man: Do you guys just not have horror movies in Wakanda?
Okoye: We don't need them. We have American reality shows. (laugh track)
Kurt: Boom goes the dynamite.
Captain Marvel: Right now, you're running at an eight, and I need you to take it down to a four. (laugh track)
Darcy: (gives a thumbs-up)
Arnim Zola: Your team-building instincts need work.
Hawkeye: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to H.R. (laugh track)
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that; that is so not true. (Joey and Ross laugh along with the laugh track)
Uatu: (as Zombie Janet van Dyne attacks Hank Pym) Oof. That happened. (laugh track)
Meet the Watcher, the other extremely powerful comics character who swore never to intervene in human affairs, that we're meeting this fall.
Kingo: Hi.
He's a messy b*tch who lives for drama, and this Jeffrey Wright-shaped planetarium will guide you through alternate timelines, like... "What if England had a pop culture icon who wasn't a sociopath?" (shows Captain Carter alongside Daniel Craig's James Bond, Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes, and Austin Powers); "What if every franchise was better without Chris Pratt?"; "What if all the Avengers died, and also, Agent Coulson was a five on the Kinsey scale?"...
Phil Coulson: He's a Caucasian male, mid-twenties with... really great hair. / It's an accurate description. He's gorgeous. / Hashtag-Steve-Steve-Steve-I-heart-Steve... / Even while rotting, he smells like lavender.
..."What if the universe had it out for Rachel McAdams?" You know, Doctor Whatsherface? What if she was the key to all of this? Any interest?; "What if zombies?" You guys still like zombies, right? ...Sorta? Okay, how about this one? "What if Killmonger, the most sympathetic villain in the entire MCU, was just destined to become evil?" Like, no matter what? Someone should've killed him in his crib. What do you mean, this isn't working for you? Fine, we'll do it your way. "What if Ultron stole Vision and chopped off Thanos' arm and ate the universe and was like, 'Raargh, I'm gonna eat you, too!', and the Watcher had to be, like, 'Not on my watch!', and they start punching, and the Avengers fly out, and the robots get hit with the shields again--?!" (as children cry) Okay? What, you good? Did you little content piggies get what you came for?! Come on, why are you crying? Oh, right, this is a show for kids; I forget that sometimes.
Kick back and listen to find out which of your favorite actors needed to pick up an extra check during COVID.
Hank Pym: Don't play the fool with me, Fury.
Michael Douglas? Really? Then, get genuinely choked up when you realize you're hearing Chadwick Boseman do T'Challa for the last time.
T'Challa: It doesn't feel over.
And finally, wonder what Dave Bautista did that caused Disney not to even reach out. (shows Tweets from Dave Bautista revealing how angry he was when James Gunn was fired from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3) Oh, right; principles. But regardless, thrill as a bunch of million-dollar voices emerge from heroes who look like the caricatures you pay ten bucks for at a town fair, because while Disney's built its entire brand on top-quality animation, everyone deserves a break now and then; it's been a tough year. Are we sure they didn't buy DreamWorks, too? (compares T'Challa and Thor's raised eyebrows to Barry B. Benson)
You know what's hot right now? The multiverse. And after Endgame helped set up the idea of the multiverse, and WandaVision teased the possibilities of the multiverse, and Loki explained the scope of the multiverse, and Doctor Strange 2 gives us multiverse madness, What If...? will drive the message of the multiverse home even further: we're all one of an infinite number of variants going through the same sh*t, our struggle seen only by a voyeuristic space walnut, who could save us from our fates at any time but won't. Wow. There had to be an easier way than killing free will to explain why Terrence Howard can't play Rhodey anymore or whatever; he thinks one times one is two.
So if you want to see your favorite Marvel characters in exciting new stories that stretch the imagination, buy a comic book. But if you want more of the things you already liked, combined with other things you already liked, resulting in something slightly less than the sum of its parts? Well, what if... there was nothing else to watch until Eternals comes out? Wooow. Look at them stand there; can't wait.
Starring: I Only Watch the Multiverse for the Articles (Jeffrey Wright as Uatu the Watcher); UKaptain America (Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter/Captain Carter); The Cat as the Pratt (Chadwick Boseman as Star-Lord T'Challa); Someone Please Take This Man's Drivers License (Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange Supreme) (shows multiple versions of Strange's car wreck); Glove, Death & Robots (Ross Marquand as Ultron); Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (Zombie Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch); Scarlet No-Hansson (Lake Bell as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow); Gundam Wang (Michael B. Jordan as N'Jadaka/Erik "Killmonger" Stevens); Futurama Did It (Paul Rudd as Scott Lang/Ant-Man's head in a jar); Asgardian Pie (Chris Hemsworth as Thor Odinson); Prickario (Benicio del Toro as Taneleer Tivan/The Collector); Hentai Squid (an interdimensional tentacle monster); and (in a Mickey Mouse impression) This is What Happens When You Mess with the Mouse, Robert! Haha! (Mick Wingert as Tony Stark/Iron Man) (montage of Tony getting either seriously hurt or killed)
Bruce Banner: (while seeing a giant ant eat Zombie Tony's decapitated head) Oh, no. Oh! I'm gonna vomit. I'm definitely gonna vomit.
But Why...?
The honest title for Marvel’s What If…? was ‘But Why…?’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Male ducks have corkscrew penises. Just putting that out there.
Elvis Impersonator: I now pronounce you Darcy and a duck! Uh-huh!
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say: "I...love...Honest Trailers' takes, Riffin' on mistakes, Emmys they should win.... AND TWIIIINS!" (My wife is pregnant with twins!) - Cinema N. Sugar
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Logan Rees, Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen & Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Post-Production Coordinator: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Assistant Editor: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet
