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Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins is the 276th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1964 Disney fantasy musical Mary Poppins. This video takes the format of a musical episode and features parody versions of the film's songs with music by Matt Citron and vocals by Matt Citron, Lynn Andrews and Annie Worden. The video is 5 minutes 55 seconds long. It was published on December 18, 2018, to coincide with the theatrical release of the sequel Mary Poppins Returns. It has been viewed over 1.4 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964) on YouTube

"Reality is hard to take. Your mind could need a break. A spoon! Or three! Of liquid THC!" ~ Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964)

Script Edit

Before Mary Poppins Returns, revisit Disney's best live-action film of the 60s -- with our apologies to fans of The Gnome-Mobile, The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit, Monkeys Go Home and The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes [Young Kurt Russell: "Applejack." Man: "That's absolutely right." Kurt Russell: "Applejack. (beeping) Applejack Chisholm City social club. (beeping). Applejack Pompeii Palace."]. Man, how did Disney stick around long enough to run the world? They spent like three decades making Troy McClure movies [Troy McClure: "You might remember me from such films as Gladys the Groovy Mule."]

Mary Poppins

Meet Mary Poppins, magic nanny and full-blown narcissist [Mary Poppins: "Practically perfect in every way."], who never misses an opportunity to check herself out, doesn’t get close to anyone [Mary Poppins: "What would happen to me if I loved all the children I said goodbye to?"], and creates a pocket universe full of animals to literally sing her praises [Animals: "No wonder that it's Mary that we love!"]. But she isn't just a sing-song Slytherin, she's also just a so-so nanny [Mary Poppins: "You're not as well turned out as I'd like."], who leaves kids alone to go on a date, drugs them before bed, and gaslights anyone who discovers her powers until they begin to doubt their own sanity [Jane: "You won the horse race." Mary Poppins: "A respectable person like me in a horse race?! How dare you suggest such thing." Michael: "It did happen, I saw it!" Mary Poppins: "Go to sleep."]. Okay, let's see. Egomaniac witch, going from house to house in England --how much you want to bet she works for the Ministry of Magic? Too bad she got stuck with the Weasleys.

Follow along on Mary's quest to bring order and happiness to the Banks family -- even though the one who clearly needs help is their PTSD- afflicted neighbor [Admiral Boom and Mr Binnacle fire their rooftop canon]. She'll take on: Jane and Michael, two perfectly sweet children who everyone insists are monsters [Katie Nanna: "I wouldn't stay in this house another minute, not if you heap me with all the jewels in Christendom." Mr Banks: "Adorable? well that's debatable, I must say."]; Mrs Banks, who's there to show you can be a good mom or an advocate for women's rights but not both -- huh; and George, the only man in Hollywood history to hire a beautiful nanny and have his marriage get better. With Mary's help the children will literally dick around for 90 minutes with Bert, films least-convincing Englishman [Bert: "I'd know that silhouette anywhere."]. What? As they learn an important lesson: working-class people may be suffering from poverty and black lung, but they're actually good luck charms and secretly magic. So go ahead and get your dad fired from his white collar job. He'll sing it off in no time!

So step in time with this timeless musical that will make you forget Disney ripped this IP away from its creator, made a film she hated so much it's in her will that he could never touch Poppins again, then Disney made a movie about her where Walt's the hero and she's an impossible shrew [Saving Mr Banks] [P.L. Travers: "Responstible is not a word."], then waited till she died and made a deal with her estate for a sequel. Chim Chim Cher-ee, that's mean. Quick play some of the songs we love. Like: the "Recently Unemployed" song: (To the melody of "Let's Go Fly a Kite.")

Ohh! Ohh! CRAP! I got sacked tonight./ Cash will be getting tight./ Maids don't laugh, I have to send you packing.

The "Is Sugar Code For Something? song (to the tune of "Spoonful of Sugar")

Reality is hard to take. Your mind could need a break.
A spoon! Or three! Of liquid THC! That's good.
Working while sober makes you mentally break down.
Keep "medicine" around. It's kicking in right now.
Just drink plenty of water when you're feeling it come down.
Quick it's almost four twen-tay!

The "What is Dick Van Dyke even Saying?" song (to the tune of "Chim Chim Cher-ee")

Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim cher-ee.
Oye deep ergo Duck Tales 'cuz bruckets all shmee.
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo.
Groot tree dill shuckoff lorts of Duck Tales till brew.

The "Chimney Sweeps Are Actually Exposed To Lethal Amounts of Carcinogens" song (to the tune of "Step in Time.")

Filth and grime, filth and grime.
Filth and grime, filth and grime.
Never had a union, barely make a dime.
Our lungs are full of filth and grime.

And the "14 Syllable Words Are Fun To Say No Matter What They Mean" song (to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.")

It's polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride.
A thermosetting plastic made by heating up zinc chloride.
And don't forget to a add a pinch of phenol formaldehyde.
Polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride.

Starring: [Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins] There's Something About Mary; [Dick Van Dyke as Bert] Doik Van Doik, Guvna; [Dick Van Dyke as Mr Dawes Snr] Current-day Dick Van Dyke; [Karen Dotrice as Jane and Matthew Garber as Michael] Garbage Pail Kids; [David Tomlinson as Mr George Banks] (Frustrated British Noises); [Glynis Johns as Mrs Winifred Banks] Doesn't Even Get A First Name; [Animated fox hunt] Downtoon Abbey; [Dancing penguins] Happy Feet; [Jane Darwell as The Bird Lady] The Bird Lady from Home Alone 2; [Reginald Owen as Admiral Boom and Don Barclay as Mr Binnacle] In The Navyyy; and... [other nannies get blown away] Did Mary Poppins Just Murder All These Old Ladies? How whimsical (!).

Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964) 5-23 screenshot

Honest title for Mary Poppins - Fantastic Brits and How To Mind Them. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Fantastic Brits and How to Mind Them

You know the worst thing about living in Edwardian England? All the chimney sweeps flash bombing on your roof. [Dancing chimney sweeps: "Link your elbows, step in time!"] Keep it down you filthy urchins!

Trivia Edit

Honest Trailers Commentary - Mary Poppins (1964)

Honest Trailers Commentary - Mary Poppins (1964)

Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964) has a 97.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Poke described the Honest Trailer as "outrageous – but hilarious, and probably a fair shout." Egotastic wrote "there's a lot a lot of low hanging fruit here like Dick Van Dyke's notoriously terrible "Cockney chimneysweep" accent, but they hit on one major point that bears repeating." Epicstream wrote "I have to admit, the trailer does have a point when it comes to all its criticisms, but with Mary Poppins basically a live-action cartoon, the film doesn’t seem as grave as it sounds."

 Production credits Edit

Honest trailer mary poppins

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964)

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title Design: Robert Holtby

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr, Lon Harris

Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand

Music Composed by Matt Citron

Vocals by Matt Citron, Lynn Andrews, Annie Worden

External links Edit

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