Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins is the 276th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1964 Disney fantasy musical Mary Poppins. This video takes the format of a musical episode and features parody versions of the film's songs with music by Matt Citron and vocals by Matt Citron, Lynn Andrews and Annie Worden. The video is 5 minutes 55 seconds long. It was published on December 18, 2018, to coincide with the theatrical release of the sequel, Mary Poppins Returns. It has been viewed over 2.2 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964) on YouTube
"Okay, let's see... Egomaniac witch, going from house to house in England... How much do you want to bet she works for the Ministry of Magic? Too bad she got stuck with the Weasleys." ~ Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964)
Script[]
Before Mary Poppins returns (shows the logo for Mary Poppins Returns), revisit Disney's best live-action film of the 60's... with our apologies to fans of The Gnome-Mobile, The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit, Monkeys, Go Home!, and The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.
Dexter Riley (The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes): Applejack.
Moderator: That's absolutely right.
Riley: Applejack. *beep, beep* (in a computerized voice) Applejack, Chissum City Social Club...
Riley: *beep, beep* Applejack, Pompey Palace...
Man, how did Disney stick around long enough to run the world? They spent, like, three decades making Troy McClure movies!
Troy McClure ("Homer Alone"): You might remember me from such films as [...] Gladys the Groovy Mule.
Mary Poppins
Meet Mary Poppins, magic nanny and full-blown narcissist...
Mary: (reading from her tape measure) --"practically perfect in every way."
...who never misses an opportunity to check herself out, doesn't get close to anyone...
Mary: What would happen to me if I loved all the children I said goodbye to?
...and creates a pocket universe of animals to literally sing her praises.
Animals ("Jolly Holiday"): (singing) No wonder that it's Mary that we love!
But she isn't just a singsong Slytherin; she's also just a so-so nanny...
Mary: (to Jane and Michael) You're not as well turned out as I'd like.
...who leaves kids alone to go on a date, drugs them before bed, and gaslights anyone who discovers her powers, until they begin to doubt their own sanity.
Jane: You won the horse race.
Mary: A respectable person like me, in a horse race? How dare you suggest such a thing.
Michael: It did happen! I saw it!
Mary: Go to sleep.
Okay, let's see... Egomaniac witch, going from house to house in England... How much do you want to bet she works for the Ministry of Magic? Too bad she got stuck with the Weasleys.
Follow along on Mary's quest to bring order and happiness to the Banks family, even though the one who clearly needs help is their PTSD-afflicted neighbor.
Admiral Boom: (to Mr. Binnacle) Fire! (has his cannon launch fireworks at Bert and the chimney sweeps)
She'll take on Jane and Michael, two perfectly sweet children who everyone insists are monsters...
Katie Nanna: I wouldn't stay in this house another minute! Not if you heap me with all the jewels in Christendom!
George: "Adorable". Well, that's debatable, I must say.
...Mrs. Banks, who's there to show you can be a good mom, or an advocate for women's rights...
Winifred ("Sister Suffragette"): (singing) Votes for women!
...but not both -- Huh... -- and George, the only man in Hollywood history to hire a beautiful nanny and have his marriage get better. With Mary's help, the children will literally dick around for 90 minutes with Bert, film's least convincing Englishman --
Bert: (in a wavering Cockney accent) I'd know that silhouette anywhere!
...What? -- as they learn an important lesson: working-class people may be suffering from poverty and black lung, but they're actually good luck charms and secretly magic! So go ahead and get your dad fired from his white-collar job; he'll sing it off in no time!
So step in time with this timeless musical, that will make you forget Disney ripped this IP away from its creator (P. L. Travers); made a film she hated so much, it's in her will that he could never touch Poppins again (a blog post with the title "P. L. Travers, the author of 'Mary Poppins,' hated Disney's film adaptation so much she cried tears of rage in the theater and never forgave him" pops up); then Disney made a movie about her where Walt's the hero and she's an impossible shrew...
P. L. Travers (Saving Mr. Banks): "Responstable" is not a word!
...then waited till she died and made a deal with her estate for a sequel! Chim chim cher-ee, that's mean! Quick, play some of the songs we love! Like... the "Recently Unemployed" song (to the tune of "Let's Go Fly a Kite")...
Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhhh
CRAP!
I got sacked tonight
Cash will be getting tight
Maids don't laugh
I have to send you packing
...the "Is 'Sugar' Code for Something?" song (to the tune of "A Spoonful of Sugar")...
Reality is hard to take
Your mind could need a break
A spoon! Or three!
Of liquid THC
That's... good...
Working while sober makes you mentally break down
Keep "medicine" around
It's kicking in right now
Just drink plenty of water when you're feeling it come down
Quick it's almost four twen-tay
...the "What Is Dick Van Dyke Even Saying?" song (to the tune of "Chim Chim Cher-ee")...
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee
Oi deep ergo Duck Tales 'cause bruckets all shmee [??????????????]
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo
Groot tree dill shuckoff lorts of Duck Tales till brew [??????????????]
...the "Chimney Sweeps are Actually Exposed to Lethal Amounts of Carcinogens" song (to the tune of "Step in Time")...
Filth and grime, filth and grime
Filth and grime, filth and grime
Never had a union, barely make a dime
Our lungs are full of filth and grime
...and the "14-Syllable Words are Fun to Say No Matter What They Mean" song. (to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious")
It's
Polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride
A thermosetting plastic made by heating up zinc chloride
And don't forget to add a pinch of phenol formaldehyde
Polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride!
Starring: There's Something About Mary (Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins); Doik Voin Doik, Guvna (Dick Van Dyke as Bert); Current Day Dick Van Dyke (as Mr. Dawes Sr.); Garbage Pale Kids (Karen Dotrice as Jane Banks and Matthew Garber as Michael Banks); (Frustrated British Noises) (David Tomlinson as George Banks); Doesn't Even Get a First Name (Glynis Johns as Winifred Banks); Downtoon Abbey (shows the animated fox hunt); Happy Feet (shows some dancing animated penguins); The Bird Lady from Home Alone 2 (Jane Darwell as the "Bird Woman"); In the Navyyyy (Reginald Owen as Admiral Boom and Don Barclay as Mr. Binnacle); and Did Mary Poppins Just Murder All These Old Ladies? How Whimsical! (shows a strong gust of wind blowing a line of nannies away as Mary arrives)
Fantastic Brits and How to Mind Them
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Honest title for Mary Poppins - Fantastic Brits and How To Mind Them. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
You know the worst thing about living in Edwardian England? All the chimney sweeps flash-mobbing on your roof.
Chimney Sweeps ("Step in Time"): (singing and dancing in a circle) Link your elbows, step in time! Link your elbows, step in time!
KEEP IT DOWN, YOU FILTHY URCHINS!
Trivia[]
Honest Trailers Commentary - Mary Poppins (1964)
- In the Honest Trailers Commentary, the writers joked that if Mary Poppins was released in 2018, the suffragette song would cause the internet to explode with angry accusations of a SJW agenda -- mostly because of the line, "Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid!"
- This Honest Trailer parodies the most well-known songs from the movie, but the writers couldn't find comedic takes on all the songs. In addition, because there are so many songs in the movie, the writers skipped many due to time constraints. In any case, the writers claimed that, as children, they all fast-forwarded through the "boring" songs like "Tuppence" and "Feed the Birds."
- Polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride is more commonly known as Bakelite. It was the first plastic made from synthetic components and was created in 1907. Bakelite has the chemical formula (C6H6O·CH2O)n. Many retro plastic objects were made of Bakelite including old-fashioned radios, telephone casings and decorative umbrella handles, similar to Mary Poppins' parrot's head umbrella. (Read more about Bakelite on Wikipedia).
- Screen Junkies have made over twenty other musical episodes of Honest Trailers including A Star is Born, The Greatest Showman, Frozen, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Beauty and the Beast, Moana, La La Land, and Les Misérables. They also included parody songs in the Honest Trailers for The LEGO Movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, Toy Story and Honest Retro TV Themes! See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964) has a 97.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Poke described the Honest Trailer as "outrageous – but hilarious, and probably a fair shout." Egotastic wrote "there's a lot a lot of low hanging fruit here like Dick Van Dyke's notoriously terrible "Cockney chimneysweep" accent, but they hit on one major point that bears repeating." Epicstream wrote "I have to admit, the trailer does have a point when it comes to all its criticisms, but with Mary Poppins basically a live-action cartoon, the film doesn’t seem as grave as it sounds."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Mary Poppins (1964)
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr, Lon Harris
Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand
Music Composed by Matt Citron
Vocals by Matt Citron, Lynn Andrews, Annie Worden
External links[]
- Honest Trailer Pokes Fun at the Original Mary Poppins - Epicstream article
- It's the Honest Trailer for 'Mary Poppins' Y'all - Egotastic article
- Mary Poppins Honest Trailer: Fantastic Brits and How to Mind Them - Screen Rant article
- The Morning Watch: ‘Mary Poppins’ Edition: Honest Trailer, Book Comparison & More - Slash Film article
- Honest Trailers has analysed Mary Poppins and it’s ruining all our childhoods - The Poke article
- An Honest Trailer for 'Mary Poppins' - Tastefully Offensive article
- OMG, WATCH: The original Mary Poppins gets the HONEST TRAILERS treatment - OMG BLOG article