Mean Girls is the 360th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2004 teen comedy film Mean Girls. It was published on August 25, 2020. It is 5 minutes and 18 seconds long. It has been viewed over 2.3 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Mean Girls on YouTube
"A hilarious satire that can either be viewed as a plea for teen girls to be more kind to each other, or an instruction manual for future sociopaths. It could really use an update, though; like, how do I destroy the thot who dissed my Jungkook fan cam? Please advise!" ~ Honest Trailer - Mean Girls
Script []
From your unproblematic fave Tina Fey (multiple articles pop up detailing Tina Fey being called out for racist elements in her shows)... From your slightly problematic fave Tina Fey...
Tina Fey: A hundred years from now, people will see my work and think, "Wow, that is actually pretty racist."
...comes a ruthless tale of pointless cruelty, full of miserable teenagers trapped in a hell of their own creation. Basically, the most honest high school movie ever made.
Mean Girls
Move over, Breakfast Club. So long, Clueless. And who said you could sit with us, Netflix girls? (The Kissing Booth and To All the Boys I've Loved Before) Because it's time for one of the best high school movies of the early 2000's; in fact, one of the best things from the early 2000's, but that really isn't saying much. (shows a MySpace profile page) Let's just skip the nostalgia for that decade, okay? Trust us.
Back before Lohan was making reality shows, pop albums, and court appearances, and before Rachel McAdams was getting some Strange, they were in Mean Girls, the funniest comedy to ever be adapted from a nonfiction parenting advice book (Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman), in this hilarious satire that can either be viewed as a plea for teen girls to be more kind to each other, or an instruction manual for future sociopaths. It could really use an update, though; like, how do I destroy the thot who dissed my Jungkook fan cam? Please advise!
Welcome to one of the most racially segregated high schools in Illinois...
Janis: Asian nerds, cool Asians, [...] unfriendly black hotties...
...where the popular girls are cruel...
Regina: God, Karen, you are so stupid!
...the unpopular girls are vengeful and manipulative...
Janis: ...we turned her best friends against her. / --and we... we gave you foot cream instead of face wash.
...the teachers are statutory rapists -- Ha ha...? -- and the bus drivers really want to get kids to school on time. (montage of characters nearly getting hit by a school bus)
Regina: ...shove it right up your hairy-- (gets hit by a bus)
Tossed into this jungle is Cady; she's from Africa.
Cady: I just moved here from Africa.
Which country? You know... Africa! Shut up! She doesn't know about basic things like fashion, cliques, or African-Americans...
Cady: Jumbo!
Black Female Student: What?
...because she was homeschooled by the parents from Get Out.
Betsy Heron: This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe.
Dean Armitage (Get Out): --I would have voted for Obama for a third term if I could.
Watch Cady enlist the help of her gay best friend, and her friend who's mortified people would even think she's gay...
Cady: It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something!
Janis: What?!
Damian: Oh, no she did not!
...to infiltrate the popular clique known as The Plastics, a group of Abercrombie & B*tches led by Regina George, who's so mean, you'll barely care when the heroes stoke her eating disorder...
Regina: I'm only eating foods with less than 30% calories from fat. / I really wanna lose three pounds. / It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.
...Karen Smith, the second-dumbest weather reporter from a 2004 film...
Karen: --and there's a... 30% chance that it's already raining.
Brick Tamland (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy): ...and 38 degrees in the Middle East.
...and Gretchen Wieners, who ironically isn't the girl who made out with a hot dog.
Amber D'Alessio: "Made out with a hot dog"? Oh, my God, that was one time!
Together, these Von Duchesses will ruthlessly scheme to... stay popular, in a fiendish plot to, uh... that's pretty much it. But they wrote some mean stuff in a private journal years ago, so... Monsters!
Follow along on Cady's uncomfortably true-to-life evolution from wholesome sober kid to out-of-control party girl, as she steals a guy so nice, he dated Regina twice, gets a teacher arrested...
Cady: You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side to pay for her pathetic divorce.
...and incites a riot. But it's nothing a single apology and an afternoon of trust falls can't fix. See? Now everyone is friends with everyone! Oh, it's still full of cliques; just the members changed. Well, at least they can kill the ones who get too powerful. (Cady winces as she imagines the Junior Plastics getting hit by a bus)
So revisit one of the most quotable movies of all time...
Cady: Grool.
Regina: --stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's not going to happen.
Damian: (delivering candy canes in a Santa suit) You go, Glenn Coco.
...that leans on the strengths of great future stars, and juuust the right amount of SNL people (shots of Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, and Tim Meadows), to anchor a film with a wise and lasting message: "Math is for losers."
Cady: I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
Regina: No! No, no.
Aaron: Mathletes?
Cady: I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. / --I didn't join those stupid Mathletes!
Kevin Gnapoor: (rapping) I'm a Mathlete, so nerd is inferred...
Damian: You can't join Mathletes! It's social suicide!
Ms. Norbury: Thanks, Damian.
Starring: Cadybird (Lindsay Lohan as Cady Heron); Regina the Teenage B**** (Rachel McAdams as Regina George); Quiz Lemon (Tina Fey as Ms. Sharon Norbury); Director of Education Steven Poop (Tim Meadows as Principal Ron Duvall); Wet Hot American Mother (Amy Poehler as June George); Fetch Happens (Lacey Chabert as Gretchen Wieners); Amanda Hugandkiss (Amanda Seyfried as Karen Smith); Lezzy Caplan (Lizzy Caplan as Janis Ian); Big Gay Pal (Daniel Franzese as Damian Leigh); Riverdull (Jonathan Bennett as Aaron Samuels); You Plus Me Equals Us (Rajiv Surendra as Kevin Gnapoor); and YouTube Comments (The Burn Book).
Gretchen: "...grotsky little byotch". / "...fat virgin". / "Dyke".
White Chicks
The honest title for Mean Girls was ‘White Chicks’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Dawn Schweitzer: "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that?
Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion. Just spitballing here.
Viewer's Comments []
Please say: I'm Mike Tython and I approve thith methage. - Patrick Finnan
Please say: "Do the oysters come with guns?" Thank you, Epic Voice Guy! - Trabed0915
Please say: "I like my eggs crunchy" - Joe4
Please say, " his kiss still thrills me after a millennia" - Fida Meer
Please say: "If loving me is wrong, you don't wanna be right!" (In Johnny Bravo's voice) - D B
Trivia []
Reception []
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert & Joe Starr
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Supervising Producer: Max Dionne
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet