Prometheus is the 9th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Brett Weiner, Andy Signore, Dan Perrault. It was narrated by Gannon Nickell. It parodies the 2012 sci-fi film Prometheus. It was published on October 5, 2012, and is 3 minutes and 37 seconds long. In the 6 years since its initial publication, the trailer has been viewed over 8.7 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Prometheus on YouTube
"An epic quest that has no answers or payoff to anything." ~ Honest Trailers - Prometheus
Script[]
From the director of all those Russell Crowe movies you never saw (Ridley Scott) and the writer of Lost's unsatisfying final episode (Damon Lindelof) comes a sort-of-prequel that doesn't use the best parts of the Alien franchise: Prometheus, a film whose first thirty minutes are mostly landscape shots.
When two scientists (Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway) are on a quest to find extraterrestrial life based on really flimsy evidence, a trillion-dollar mission manned by the worst crew in space: a lazy captain (Janek) who leaves his crew to die; a stoner geologist (Fifield) with state-of-the-art computer maps, radio communication, mapping balls, and GPS who still gets lost; an inconsistent biologist (Millburn) who is scared of a 2,000-year-old dead body, but falls in love with a clearly dangerous alien snake; and an idiot woman (Meredith Vickers) who can only run in straight lines.
A film with so much CGI, the visual effects department forgot to change anyone's heart rate (shows clips of identical heart rate monitor readings). One man will achieve his lifelong dream of finding aliens, but somehow feels like a failure after only investigating for six hours; and one woman will give forced exposition and will create life and get her uterus cut open, which will hurt a lot when standing, but not jumping, falling, or repelling.
A film so forced, (spoken quickly) it attempts to connect to the Alien franchise by having someone drink a drop of black goo before impregnating a main character with a squid baby, which impregnates an engineer, which creates an alien that only kinda looks like the aliens in the real movies, even though they already showed a picture of the queen alien on a wall.
An epic quest that has no answers or payoff to anything, like the green goo, the giant head statue, the disregard of evolution, this green crystal, the Engineers' hatred of humans, the black goo (Chemical A0-3959X.91 - 15), the black goo creating an eye worm, the black goo creating a zombie, the black goo dissolving an Engineer, the reason why people in the holograms are running into a room full of black goo, David murdering someone for no reason, the Engineers leaving ancient humans maps to their weapons facilities, and why it matters he (Peter Weyland) was Vickers' dad. (shows clips of action sequences from the film intercut with text reading "They went looking for a prequel; what they found was a bald albino")
Starring Noomi Rapeface (Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw), Data (Michael Fassbender as David), Dr. Manhattan (Ian Whyte as the Last Engineer), The Black Oil from the X-Files (Chemical A0-3959X.91 - 15), Charlie The Ron (Charlize Theron as Meredith Vickers), Benjamin Button (Guy Pearce as Peter Weyland), and Super Vagina (Trilobite).
Prometheus
God, please just stay away from Blade Runner.
Viewer's Comments[]
:D Pease say "Hello Jovem Nerd? - joai vitor morandin
Say "what what in the butt" - BrandonCMaximum
Please say: "The Dude Abides" - silver5517
Say ' fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?' LOL - XxCrystalTheGreatxX
Trivia[]
- Prometheus writer Damon Lindelof watched this Honest Trailer and tweeted out his reaction: "The pain I endured watching this was all worth it once I heard the words ‘Super Vagina.’”
- Honest Trailers have been produced for several other films in the Alien franchise, including Aliens and Alien: Covenant.
- Screen Junkies have also made Honest Trailers for several other modern sequels to classic franchises, including The Predator, Halloween (2018), Independence Day: Resurgence, Ghostbusters (2016), Terminator Genisys, Mad Max: Fury Road, Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and many, many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Prometheus has an 96.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Bloody Disgusting called the Honest Trailer "hilarious." Geek Tyrant wrote that the Honest Trailer was "very funny." Forbes wrote that this Honest Trailer "pretty much put a finger on many of my complaints about the film" and that Screen Junkies' comments "are as harsh as they are hilarious." Giant Freakin' Robot remarked that "this trailer validates everything you ever thought about Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. It’s a flawed movie with a lot of ambition behind it." Entertainment Buddha noted that Screen Junkies have "skewered the plot holes in this film with perfection, but the true gem in this trailer is the cast role call at the end. Just watch out for the super vagina!"
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Prometheus
Created & Directed by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Executive Producer Mitch Rotter
Written by Brett Weiner, Andy Signore and Dan Perrault
Edited by Brett Weiner
Voiceover Narration by Gannon Nickell
External Links[]
- Hated ‘Prometheus’? Check Out The HONEST Trailer For Ridley Scott’s ‘Alien’ Prequel! - Bloody Disgusting article
- The 'Honest' Trailer for Prometheus Is Brutal and Brutally Funny (NSFW) - Forbes article
- Watch the Honest Trailer for Prometheus - Vulture article
- Honest Trailers Takes On Ridley Scott’s Prometheus - Giant Freakin' Robot article
- PROMETHEUS - Very Funny Honest Trailer - Geek Tyrant article
- ‘Prometheus’ Honest Trailer Starring The Super Vag - Entertainment Buddha article