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Honest Trailer - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) is the 176th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 1964 stop-motion animated holiday TV movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the format of a musical episode. It is performed largely as a parody of the titular song, and also features narration by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on November 22, 2016, to coincide with the holiday season. It is 4 minutes 22 seconds long. It has been viewed over 2.5 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer on YouTube

"Y'all turned a simple story into, like, Lord of the Rings for kids on acid!" ~ Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Script[]

From the Disney of Christmas specials (Rankin/Bass Productions), comes the holiday classic that makes the whole family say, "Man, this movie is so much weirder than I remember..."

Rudolph: Whatever a dentist is... I hope, someday, that you're the greatest.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Saddle up for a sleigh ride based on the famous tune about Rudolph, full of other, way less catchy songs.

Elves: (singing) We are Santa's elves, filling Santa's shelves...

But since it's Rudolph's story, after all, we thought we'd sing his famous carol if it were honest about what actually happens in the film.

You know Dasher
And Dancer
And Prancer
And Vixen
But you don't know Coach or
Clarice or this Woodsman

(shows Yukon Cornelius) Who?

As this movie shows
It's so much weirder than you know

Wait, I don't--

This prepubescent reindeer
Had a neon whistling nose
And when someone else sees it
Their tiny little mind explodes

(shows Comet yelling in confusion) Huh...

All of the other reindeer
Treat him like he's got the plague

Clarice's Father: No doe of mine is going to be seen with a... a red-nosed reindeer!

They send him into exile
'Cause this Santa's full of rage

Santa: Donner! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Then one of Santa's elf slaves
Leaves his grueling job
He'll be a "dentist" some day
Which is clearly code for gay

Hermey: (to the Head Elf) Come here. Open your mouth.

Out in the frozen wasteland
They all run into this fool

(shows Yukon Cornelius again) Who?

Who helps them fight a Yeti
While he oddly licks his tool

This group of freaks escapes to
The Island of Misfit Toys
Led by the King Moonraiser (sic)

Okay, okay, hold on! I gotta stop you right there. This is nuts! None of this is from the Christmas carol; it's just insane filler! Y'all turned a simple story into, like, Lord of the Rings for kids on acid! Don't do it! Don't you dare start singing ag--

Then it snows on Christmas Eve
So bad, Santa can't see
They use Rudolph for his light
And pretend they're friends tonight

The moral of the story
Is that being different's bad
Unless your defect's useful
Man this movie's really sad

Sorry to Rankin and Bass

Starring: Dat Nose Knows Does Doe (Billie Mae Richards as Rudolph); Fauxsty the Snowman (Burl Ives as Sam the Snowman); Lil' Ferrell (Paul Soles as Hermey the Elf); Yukon the Red Beard Hipster (Larry Mann as Yukon Cornelius); The Lion King (Stan Francis as King Moonracer); and We Wampa Wish You a Merry Christmas (Bernard Cowan as Bumble the Abominable Snow Monster of the North).

Teenage Mutant Red-Nosed Reindeer

for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Teenage Mutant Red-Nosed Reindeer. Title design by .

Honest title for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Teenage Mutant Red-Nosed Reindeer. Title design by Robert Holtby.

At least they only stretched the "Rudolph" song to just one hour-long special; it's not like they sent him back to dinosaur times to save New Year's or something.

Dinosaurs and One Million B.C. (Rudolph's Shiny New Year): (singing) It's raining sunshine...

Oh, come on!

Trivia[]

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has a 96.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Many media sites commended Screen Junkies for revealing how strange the movie really is. Billboard noted this Honest Trailer highlights that the film is "far weirder and more depressing than fans remember." The Nerdist found the Honest Trailer for notable for revealing that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is actually "a story of racism, oppression, and exploitation, all wrapped up in an LSD-induced fever dream experienced inside a hippie-owned toy store" featuring "a wannabe dentist slave employed by an angry old man," "a hipster who likes to lick his tool," and "some creepy island of bizarre toys led by a lion." Cnet wrote that Screen Junkies pointed out the story is "more like a David Lynch tale than a Christmas tale retold every year." EW wrote "Honest Trailers is giving the gift of laughs this holiday season, shining the light on Christmas classic," while ComicBook.com said the Screen Junkies is here to "celebrate the holidays with snark." Many sites specifically praised the music and called out the "Lord of the Rings for kids on acid" line as a highlight.

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer - Andy Signore

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Michael Bolton, Christina Kline

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell & Andy Signore

Edited by Bruce Guido and TJ Nordaker

External links[]

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