Scream (2022) ft Ghostface!! is the 437th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy, with a special narration by Roger L. Jackson in character as Ghostface. It parodies the 2022 slasher film Scream. It was published on March 8, 2022, to coincide with the digital release of the film. It is 7 minutes and 48 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script[]
The following trailer is rated S for Spoilers.
In a world where IP can't RIP for long, Wes Craven's signature franchise will go on without him, for a scarily honest look at the state of the slasher genre: they are really out of ideas by now.
Sidney: I've seen this movie before. / You might actually be the most derivative one of all.
Scream 5-- er, Scream '22, or, uh... just Scream, again. That works, I guess...
Ghostface is back in Woodsboro, because where else can you kill people in broad daylight and get away with it? (shows Ghostface stabbing Sheriff Hicks in front of her house) Watch as a high schooler's attack kicks off a high school reunion for that film you watched in high school, and ends up being the best Scream since the first one, because it basically is the first one (shows shots comparing characters turning on a light switch in the original and the reboot), slightly updated for a modern audience. (phone ringing, with the parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" as a ringtone) One sec. (phone beeps) Hello?
Ghostface: Hello, Mr. Plinkett.
Uh, wrong number; it's the Honest Trailer guy.
Ghostface: Hmm. I guess you'll have to do. Do you like... meta movies?
I mean, sure, if they're done well.
Ghostface: What about meta movie promotional tie-ins?
Eh... not interested. (phone beeps)
All your favorite characters are back, but they only had the budget to de-age one of them. There's ex-cop Dewey, who's a broken man after a lifetime of carrying this town's sorry-ass police force on his back...
Sam: Who's watching my sister?! (leaves in disgust as the cops say nothing)
...the tag team of Sidney and Gale, two queens who are so used to this sh*t, gaping stomach wounds are no big deal anymore... (shows Gale and Sidney getting shot and stabbed in the gut)
[10 Minutes Later]
Sam: (to Gale and Sidney, recovering in an ambulance) Thank you both. For everything.
...and of course, the iconic horror villain Ghostface. (phone ringing) Oh man, I thought I put that on silent. (phone beeps) Do you mind? I'm trying to record here.
Ghostface: Hang up on me again, and I'll gut you like an elk!
Don't you mean, "like a fish"?
Ghostface: "Fish" would've been too predictable; it's called "subverting expectations".
All right, look, kid... I'm a little bit busy right now.
Ghostface: Too busy to mention how Scream is available to watch now on Apple TV and other digital retailers?
Of course it's available; that movie came out in... '96?
Ghostface: Not "Old" Scream! "New" Scream!
Oh, you mean 5cream.
Ghostface: Is that what passes for a joke around here?
We usually save all the dumb puns for the end.
Ghostface: Still? Ugh... At least CinemaSins had the decency to call it quits.
Yeah, they're still going on, too.
Ghostface: What?! Come on!
Look, you've had five movies and three seasons to deconstruct a genre that wasn't even complex to begin with, okay? So don't lecture us about hanging around too long! Sidney, please do the honors.
Sidney: I'm bored.
Ghostface: Wait! (Sidney hangs up)
Watch these somehow-still-living legends hand the franchise off to Gen Z -- which is cruel, since their greatest fear is having to actually talk on the phone (montage of characters getting scared by ringing phones) -- in a film that understands the only thing scarier than one film dork chasing you with a knife is five film dorks subjecting you to their movie opinions.
Richie: --no connection to the other movies. No legacy characters at all. / If you ask me, this whole franchise goes off the rails with number five.
Mindy: To some people, the original is their favorite thing in the world. / And God help anyone who slightly f*cks with that special memory.
Richie: Because nobody takes the true fans seriously. / They just laugh at us, and WHY?! Because we love something?!
Tara: You know, it's, like, scary but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings. It's not just some... schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jump scares.
Ugh, make it stop! Like this guy Wes, who's super-knowledgeable about horror movie clichés-- (text pops up alongside Wes reading "For Wes") Ohh, I see what you did there.; Tara, who tells you she doesn't watch horror without telling you she doesn't watch horror...
Ghostface: What's your favorite scary movie?
Tara: Uh... The Babadook.
...Mindy, who's basically the new Randy...
Mindy: --as a requel.
Dewey: Which is?
Mindy: Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel.
...her twin Chad, who is... well, also the new Randy...
Chad: You know, I'm not, like... entirely sure that you're not the... killer.
Actually, most of these new characters are Randy.
Wes: Pepper spray, check. Taser, check.
Amber: Girlfriend repellent, check. (laughs)
Sam: You know that part in horror movies where you want to yell at the characters to be smart and get the f*ck out? This is that part, Richie.
Richie: Holy sh*t, it's Ghostface!
...Liv. She's... there...
Liv: --you said I was too boring to be the killer.
...new heroine Sam, who inherited her dad's killer instinct, but not his spatial awareness... (shows Sam screaming as she dodge's Ghostface's attack)
Sidney: You're in Stu Macher's house, where your dad and Stu killed everyone.
Sam: --and I didn't even realize... that Dad was standing right behind me.
...and Amber and Richie. One is the main character's boyfriend, the other is a kook who lives in Stu's house, so... you do the math. Oh, my God, these things are so predictable! (phone ringing) What the f--? Who put a landline in here?! (phone beeps) Hello? Like I don't know who it is...
Ghostface: I told you not to hang up, trailer boy! Now I'm gonna have to kill you.
Okay, look, Mister and/or Miss Face; you're a legend and all, but with all due respect, you've been getting your ass kicked by teenagers since the 90's, okay? Not exactly shaking in my robe. (shows Ghostface getting hit with a flowerpot in Scream 2)
Ghostface: Lucky shot!
(shows Ghostface getting olé'd through a patio door in Scream 3)
Ghostface: Uh, the floor was wet!
(shows Ghostface tumbling over a chair in Scream 2)
Ghostface: I had sweat in my eye holes.
(shows Ghostface getting thrown onto a bed from above a movie set in Scream 3)
Ghostface: Okay, that one was pretty embarrassing... You know most of these aren't even me, right? I'm a different person in every film; we just all use the same spooky voice modulator.
Okay, well, you do lose a fight to an invalid in this one. Twice. (shows Amber in Ghostface garb getting whacked with crutches by Sam)
Ghostface: I'm not one of those "brute strength" slashers, anyway; I'm more into clever misdirection.
Let me guess: you're going to lure me out of this booth by putting my friends in danger, then pop out and stab me? Ha-ha! Joke's on you! I don't have any friends.
Ghostface: Well, that's... depressing.
Yeah, you're telling me; I just sit at home and get worked up over these big movies, hoping they'll be good enough to make me forget how alone I feel, but they always fall short. Everybody else seems to love them, for some reason, so, fine. Go ahead. Cut me open already.
Ghostface: Hey, I get where you're coming from; the whole "murder" thing is just my way of inspiring better content out of Hollywood, you know?
Yeah, I do. We're not so different, you and I; you kill with knives, and... I kill with the semi-occasional decent joke.
Ghostface: Should we team up for the outro?
Hell yeah, brother! Third act twiiist!
So now that every big sequel or reboot is a self-referential circle jerk of fanservice...
Ghostface: Return to the original franchise to do just that...
Because I love Scream...
Ghostface: You love Scream...
We all scream...
Epic Voice Guy/Ghostface: For 5cream!
Did we just become best friends?
Ghostface: Uh, yep!
Starring: Neve-r Better (Neve Campbell as Sidney Prescott).
Ghostface: The Mourning Show (Courteney Cox as Gale Weathers).
Dewey or Do Not, There Is No Try (David Arquette as Dewey Riley).
Ghostface: He's Just a Skeeter Boi (Skeet Ulrich as Billy Loomis).
The Starting Girl (Jenna Ortega as Tara Carpenter).
Ghostface: In the Frights (Melissa Barrera as Sam Carpenter).
The Boysfriends (Jack Quaid as Richie Kirsch).
Ghostface: The Girl Who Repeatedly Played with Fire (Mikey Madison as Amber Freeman/Ghostface).
The Jamie Kennedy Descendant (Jasmin Savoy Brown as Mindy Meeks-Martin).
Ghostface: And how come nobody wants to talk about my actual favorite genre: young adult book adaptations? There's more than one way to kill a teenager, you know...
Ghostface: Available now on digital, April 5 on Blu-ray.
The honest title for Scream (2022) was ‘Ghostface Jam: A New Legacy’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
You know who really sucks? Sam and Tara's mom. Both your daughters get attacked multiple times, and you can't come home from a work conference?!
Ghostface: Yeah, who's the real monster here?
Yeah, still you.
Viewer's Comments[]
say "you know,im something of an epic voice guy myself" - Gianni SLUICE Vargas-Navalta
Pls say "How do you like them apples" - Ron Emmanuel Joshy
Say "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty" - Aj McCorristin
Say 'thanks for the nightmares' for Wes Craven R.I.P - Jon2910
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Special Guest: Roger L. Jackson as Ghostface
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen & Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Post-Production Coordinator: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Assistant Editor: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne