Secret Invasion is the 507th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the superhero television miniseries Secret Invasion. It was published on August 8, 2023. It is 6 minutes and 53 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.6 million times.
Script[]
You've seen Marvel films fail at the box office (a GameRant article with the title "17 Lowest Grossing MCU Movies At The Box Office" pops up), the CEO suggests they've cheapened the brand (a Fortune article with the title "Bob Iger says Disney will cut back flood of Marvel movies and series: 'Frankly, it diluted focus and attention'" pops up), and let's be honest, you probably started skipping shows entirely. (a What's On Disney Plus article with the title "'Ms Marvel' Debuts As The Least Watched Disney+ Marvel Live-Action Series" pops up) Now, get ready for a series that proves, if it's not time to scrap the whole thing, Disney should at least pause until their next batch of Chris is ready. (shows Chris Pine's Edgin Darvis "melting")
Secret Invasion. Eww, are those A.I.-generated titles? Gross.
Nick Fury is back from space-cation, and everyone agrees that he sucks now.
Varra/"Priscilla": -- the one with power, the one with ability, [...] that Fury's gone.
He's traumatized (montage of Fury cradling his head in his hands), and really effing old...
Pagon: He's washed up, walks with a limp, can barely see with the good eye.
Falsworth: The fact that you don't know... tells me all I need to know about this new, rather old Nick Fury.
Raava/"Col. Rhodes": --why don't you hobble your ancient ass on out of here before I have you defenestrated?
...in the latest sequel that thinks audiences want to see their heroes as pathetic, washed-up sad sacks.
"Old Batman": You wanna get soup? (four-second pause) Let's get soup.
After the events of Captain Marvel -- A movie you totally remember the events of, right? Right? -- the aliens who look like Piccolo's left nut are still stranded on Earth; Fury has phoned in finding them a new planet --
G'iah as "Fury": I knew within a few years of searching that there was no other planet out there for you.
Ahem... (a NASA article with the title "The Milky Way's 100 Billion Planets" pops up) -- and he won't even carve out a chunk of Norway to crash on. Now, Skrulls have infiltrated our society to find a long-term home, in the second Marvel show about how refugees are secretly terrorists. (shows the Flag-Smashers chanting "One world, one people!" and Skrulls saying "Home in my own skin".) Uh-oh, the villains are in the right again! Quick, do the thing! (shows Gravik executing Pagon)
Dovich: (after the Flag-Smashers blow up a building) There were still people in there.
Karli Morgenthau: This is the only language these people understand.
That's better; deep state good.
Strap in for a spy thriller made entirely out of spy thriller clichés, where everyone has to be stupid for the plot to work...
Fury: Last I checked, Rhodey is a Skrull.
Falsworth: ...What?!
...and even the Skrulls stick with one face to cut down on production costs -- Not gonna try a white guy for a Russian soldier? Mmkay. -- as Fury and friends will do anything they can to stop World War III without calling the Avengers...
Fury: We can't keep depending on these superheroes to swoop in and save our asses.
...because then he'd have to admit he's been scraping all their goo into a cup and hiding it in his grave. Imagine looking Cap in the eye, and telling him you scraped his goo; the shame you'd feel...
Strap in for a show that's about more than two old guys yelling about off-screen promises they broke; well, not entirely.
Fury: Have you lost your reptilian-ass mind?
Talos: Hey, [...] what would you have done?
Fury: This ain't about me!
Talos: 'Cause you were gone!
Gravik: WHO WANTS IIIIIT?!
Fury: You got any more abuse you wanna hurl my way? / (standing up to leave) I'm going for a walk.
It's also about Emilia Clarke, who co-stars as G'iah, because she can't turn down the chance to learn another made-up language.
G'iah: (in Skrull language) Travel well to your beyond, Father.
Daenerys Targaryen: (in Dothraki) But I am not a khal. / (in Valyrian) Valyrian is my mother tongue.
She's a Skrull terrorist... until a couple of days before the finale, where she gets almost every power in the MCU; no way that's going to bite us in the ass later, or, uh... look cool on camera. (shows G'iah with Drax's arm) Also joining the fight is British spymaster Sonya Falsworth; Olivia Colman summons Hulk-like strength to carry the series on her back, armed with the comedy bit of saying mean things in a friendly way.
Falsworth: I'm very good at being your bestie. I'm also devilishly good at being not your bestie. / (holding a Skrull's severed finger) Mmm. Well, now that's confirmed... let's party, shall we? / If they're not busy gaslighting you, they're threatening you with murder. That's what all the podcasts are about. (shoots "Victor")
Talos: Ah, she's cheeky.
Fury: Yeah...
And old favorites return, like Office Tim (Everett K. Ross), who's been a Skrull since... who gives a sh*t?; Maria Hill, who's bravely sacrificed to give her boss a little extra pizzazz; Sharon Carter, who-- No? She's not a Skrull? So she just randomly turned into an arms dealer? 'Kay.; and Col. Rhodes, who's revealed to have been a Skrull since at least the death of Tony Stark, and maybe even earlier. Honestly, they've been hinting that he's a shapeshifter since day one. (shows Terrence Howard's Col. Rhodes having his face morph into that of Don Cheadle)
So gently massage your temples for a spy thriller without any tension, about a hero who thinks humans are full of hate...
Fury: There is not enough room or tolerance on this planet for another species!
...plunges Earth into a race war...
Fury: (as a vigilante guns down the British Prime Minister) Now you've got dumbass vigilantes killing innocent humans, too.
...then dips back into space with one of the good ones while we're left to pick up the pieces, because it turns out, Nick Fury always has his eye on the bigger picture: when can he get his next drink?
Fury: --buying shots. (toasts with Hill)
Falsworth: (in Russian) Cheers.
Fury: I'm pretty sure you recollect my drink of choice as bourbon.
Fury: (in Russian) Bourbon and a pint for me. And whatever my friends are having.
Gravik: How about a drink instead?
G'iah as "Fury": Yeah, I wouldn't say no.
Fury: (to "Col. Rhodes") I wanted to share my favorite liquid lunch with you. Pappy Van Winkle. / (sips his drink) Mmm! Mmm, mmm, mmm.
(in a Samuel L. Jackson impression) Mmm! This is a tasty bourbon!
Starring: Mace Winded (Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury); Game of Clones (Emilia Clarke as G'iah); Devil in a Blue Suit (Don Cheadle as "Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes" and Nisha Aaliya as Raava); Kingsley Bid-Adieu (Kingsley Ben-Adir as Gravik); Not Now Mate, I'm Undah Covah (Ben Mendelsohn as Talos); Shouldn't This Be Julia Louis-Dreyfus? (Olivia Colman as Sonya Falsworth); Spy Wife! (Charlayne Woodard as Varra/"Dr. Priscilla Davis"); How I Met My Maker (Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill); and Most MCU Fans at This Point.
"Dr. Rosa Dalton": I was told this phase would be over.
Invasion of the Body Matchers
The honest title for Secret Invasion was ‘Invasion of the Body Matchers’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
So cool how Fury keeps the Avengers goo hidden in his grave... And his coat in another grave... And his eyepatch in another grave?... And his gun in another grave?! Feels like that's too many graves for just one outfit.
Fury: Oh, I got these all over the place, you know? Dead men need options.
Viewer's Comments[]
In honor of Paul Reubens, can you please say "I know you are, but what am I?!" Thank you! - jimb.7523
Say in your best Christopher Walken voice "I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? - shaftshaft
Trivia[]
- The first comment in the viewer's comments pays tribute to Paul Reubens, an actor best known for his role as Pee-wee Herman in both Pee-wee's Playhouse and Pee-wee's Big Adventure, who passed away on July 31, 2023, at the age of 70 due to complications from cancer.
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Manager: Emin Bassavand
Content Manager: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Post-Production Specialist: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
